I am 25, a virgin, and can't get a girlfriend.

I'm tired of being a nice guy and always being sweet to someone girl. Getting a girlfriend is tough, girls want to talk to me and tell me their stuff but not go out with me. So I think getting laid will just make me feel better. Any tips? Bar chicks?

Updates:
So do I just be an asshole? How do I not be a "nice guy" ? What is the difference between a chick talking to me (like her dreams and what not) versus talking to me like one of her girlfriends? Lastly, is the best way to lose it with an escort? Some chick?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your update has a lot of questions. Not being a 'nice guy' can be hard if you've spent your entire life being one. I guess the easiest thing to do is be kind of selfish, kind of pushy. Poke fun of her, but not too much. Like maybe poke fun if she does something embarrassing, but don't go so far as to call her fat. Unless she really is fat and she's bugging the hell out of you. Be dismissive if you feel like she's wasting your time. Trusts your instincts on this one. Many women want attention, but few deserve it. If you feel like she's toying with you, she probably is; move on.

    Don't think of a single woman as special. Play the field; don't fall into the trap of one-itis where you focus on one chick. You don't get with the one chick? So what? There are billions of women on the planet, why would you get fixated on one? Don't let her think she's special either. Making her feel special can be important later on, but not when you first meet her. Don't buy her stuff. She wants you to buy her dinner and you haven't had sex yet, ditch her and keep looking.

    As for not letting her treat you like a girl friend, what the f*** do you care about a chick's dreams? What the f*** do you care if she bought a new dress or new shoes? Or some guy she met? If she tries to talk to you about those things, talk to her about a chick you saw with big boobs or a cool explosion you saw in a movie or the latest additions to your porn collection. Also, on average, you shouldn't listen to women talk about what women want. They usually don't know themselves, and are gonna tell you some bullsh*t they saw in a teenie bopper movie like Twilight or something stupid. Fuck that.

    As for an escort, that can be tricky depending on where you are. It's definitely easier if you're near a major city than not. The Erotic Review is a site dedicated to reviewing escorts and stuff. The best advice I can give on this is to take it slow and take your time to find what you want. And make sure you understand it is strictly business. Don't expect to fall in love with the chick.

    Oh, and one more thing. These rules tend to apply to here in the US. If you were going to a place with many beautiful women like Lebanon or Sweden or whatever, some of the rules would be different. But not the ones like playing the field and don't develop one-itis.

    Hope that helps.

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    • Dude, you're the man. It is in perspective now. Shoud I be dressing nice and all that?

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    • When I do talk to her, what do I talk to her about?

    • Good question! I myself like talking about animals and pets (women like animals). Food and new restaurants you recently tried are also a good bet (women like food). Topics to (usually) avoid are nerd related stuff, e.g. video games, monte python, star wars, etc. Unless of course you know she likes those things in which case go for it. But I guess more than anything be comfortable. And don't obsess, either over her or a particular topic. Remember, she's just one... if you f*** up, so what?

What Girls Said 5

  • No no that's not true girls do respect nice guys but there is a HAPPY MEDIUM. Here is a perfect example my ex was a happy medium. He treated me so nice and took care of me and did literally whatever I asked him he didn't jump like a b**** but he did it cause he loved me. But I also knew I couldn't disrespect him and that he was a man. You can't be tooo nice cause then if people see that they can walk all over they will. Ido have to say that its a good thing your a virgin says good things about you.however it may be a bit of a turn off for some girls cause more girls then not are experienced these days...remember HAPPY MEDIUM

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    • I believe you. I never wrote they don't. I'm not finding them and I am not an overly nice guy. The "nice girls" are just not that into me. It does not work out. Having sex might not cure it but will make me feel better about my manhood.

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    • Not religious. Just haven't found a willing partner. Well, not one who'd giving me a handjob/blowjob or sex in the bathroom stall or hotel room. Maybe it'll make me feel better.

    • 2mo

      You say, it took him so long, he must have been willing not to loose his virginity, It makes it seem like women are so hard to get. So how soon or how many guys who did everything you advice, being happy medium, and be good looking, how soon would it take them or at least one of them to get laid with you. so if you had been single for some time, what are the chances of you having sex with that happy medium, decent/good looking guy? answer me privately if neccesary

  • You need to take the pressure off of yourself! It is possible that you are too worried or stressed about having sex and that makes you come off as desperate. Instead of looking at every woman as a possible sex partner (or as another rejection), just try to have fun with people. Of course getting laid will make you feel better, but only in the temporary. If girls find you easy to talk to, that's a great sign to begin with, that means girls are comfortable around you. Keep telling yourself this: "No expectations, let's just have fun". it definitely helps to be in that frame of mind, instead of always thinking about whether or not you can just get into her pants.

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    • I almost never think about getting in her pants. It is about having fun and getting to know her. I am not interested in sex from a girl. However, I think if I change my thinking, and stop being interested in a girl and just have sex/get laid, I'll feel better about that emptiness.

    • 2mo

      thats a good start, and then what? at what point should he start sexual advances?

  • No not some girl you have no idea where she has been...Dont be an asshole be nice but don't let people take advantage of you...give me a situation and ill tell you what to do...

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  • i was talking to a hella nice guy and he did sooo much for me! but I knew I could have him whenever I wanted so I never did anything with him or got with him! so yea don show too much interest just enough and get her to talk to you more and ask you out after a while of dating!

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    • I see. That's too bad.

  • yea it is too bad that girls say they want a good guy but choose the bad ones instead I think for me it was that I saw him as the type of guy to settle down with

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What Guys Said 3

  • Being nice is find; just don't be a pushover. Don't let a woman make decisions for you. And don't have a one night stand with a girl you don't care about. You will regret it later.

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  • Don't be nice. Girls can't respect kind guys.

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    • Women can respect guys who are kind, but those men should also be confident and assertive as well. That, in addition to the kindness is what will earn the respect of women.

  • Alright, this is a topic near and dear to my heart. There are a number of things you're doing wrong.

    1) Don't be the nice guy. For f***'s sakes, don't be the nice guy. Seriously. Being a nice guy is the absolute worse thing you can do for yourself to get laid.

    2) Don't let them treat you like one of their girlfriends. When you sit there and let them complain about their problems, they don't look at you like a guy. They look at you like a chick, a girl friend. Don't do this. Be mean and rude if you have to. It won't get you laid, but at least you won't be treated like a girl.

    3) Start lying. Women do not want to be with virgins, especially at your age. Fortunately for you, they can't tell the difference.

    4) Don't believe women when they say they're alright with virgins. This is designed to get you to let your guard down. Keep obeying point 3 above.

    5) This may be the hardest to come to grips with. Give serious thought to getting a high priced escort, i.e. prostitute. And I'm not talking about some strung out street walker who sucks dick for crack, nor at the opposite end of the spectrum a spitzer-type girl. You can get one for a very moderate price. Many will tell you that you shouldn't get laid that way, but I call them out of touch with where you're coming from.

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    • This is actually starting to speak to me...

    • Of course it does... like I said, this is a topic near and dear to my heart since I've been where you are.

    • 2mo

      give an example of of how to be mean and rude when they ask you about their problems, dont they get pissed off?

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