Is it self-hating to straighten "natural" or curly hair?

Is it self hating for women with this hair:

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To straighten their hair in hopes of having feminine looking hair like this:

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Wouldn't she be considered self hating?

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Isn't that considered self hating? I thought people like "natural" girls and guys... lulz

Updates:
It would be self hating because they're altering their hair texture to match the texture of other 'groups'--a hair texture unnatural to their own.

Thanks for the one star rating in advance. I like the points hee hee

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Most Helpful Girl

  • maybe but then again maybe not. it depends on what their underlying motives are.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Curly hair was popular in the 80s and late 70s, and women with straight hair would get their hair curled densely. Do you think women with straight hair who got their hair curled were self loathing back then?

    Maybe someday curly hair will become more fashionable again in the future.

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    • Well, anyone of any race can have curly hair. Straight hair is not natural for blacks. They're trying to adapt to the standards of beauty, i.e, European ideals

  • No more so than it would be self hating to get a haircut of use make up.

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  • I don't think its self hating I think its called trying a new look. I thought that was a pretty normal thing to do.

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    • The girls with natural hair can try new looks with their own hair texture though. They're straightening their hair to look like other races...

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    • You'd be surprised...

      where do you think they get the idea of wanting straight hair?

    • Ok right I get that they are getting the idea from other races. But cultures mix all the time throughout history. I don't see it as self hating I just see it as them wanting to try something new.

  • Like genetics there are some things we don't like about ourselves and we have the choice to change it (physically, you know what I mean). Its not self hating because we'll change our style every once in a while to try and look like something we hope for.

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  • Maybe they just like it. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

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  • It's no more self hating to straighten curly hair than it is to curl straight hair.

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    • Curly hair isn't limited to race

      Straight hair is

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    • How politically correct of you

    • Believe what you want.

  • I fail to see how that is self hating

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  • I don't know about "self hating" but I think curly hair is beautiful. Nothing like a nice thick head of hair to run your fingers through when you're kissing someone.

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  • Do what makes you happy, do what makes you feel good about yourself.

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  • It's only self-hating based on the reason as to why they are doing it, not for the mere fact that they do it. If they are doing it because they don't like their hair/wish they were born with straight hair, and want something new; sure, I guess you can say that it's self-hating. If their reason is because they like having more than one hair style then it's not.

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  • If the girl is just not comfortable or not satisfied with whatever style her hair currently is then she has full rights to change her hair. And there is nothing hating about that.

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  • Would it be self hating to get a tattoo just because you weren't born with a picture of Mickey Mouse on your shoulder?

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  • Yes and no. Yes if they think that straightening their hair will make them better socially but no if they are just trying out a look or style. Do you straighten your hair because of self hate?

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    • No. I straighten like twice a year to see how long it is without shrinkage. But I wear it curly or in a bun everyday with leave in conditioner. I like my curly hair...

    • +1

    • Thanks for the point :)

  • Ha no. It's fashion and as Pandamonium (wtf? lol) said, I don't see how trying out a look is considered "self-hating"?

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    • Because they're altering their hair texture and it's unnatural to those types of women

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    • Butthurt, white defense mechanism? lolol I'm Hispanic ;)

      So since you not only assumed I'm white (like I already mentioned you would), but think I'm trying to put you down simply for disagreeing with you...does that not prove exactly what I said once again?

    • I'm answering your question on here. How is that pleasing you? good god, you are something else lol

What Girls Said 21

  • Trying new hairstyles isn't self hating. Straight hair is a popular hairstyle in American society, and since black people absorb popular American society, we can do that. No one in any hair salon I've been to is trying to look like any other race. Hair straightening is no more self hating that someone who wants to get plastic surgeries to alter their natural appearance, risk skin cancer to tan and get Botox. All you have to do to get straight hair is flat iron or apply relaxer, not much effort and can easily be undone if you want a different look. It's no more different than a woman who goes from pink lipstick to red the next day. She isn't self hating even tho she wasn't born with naturally pink or red lips. She's just doing something new with her look

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    • I agree. It's just absorbing a popular hair style. I could see how some may think it's disrespectful to change naturally curly hair to what other people have more naturally as if the people with curly hair aren't good enough. I doubt many girls that straighten their hair feel that way though.

  • I have naturally wavy hair, kind of like the last pic you posted in your curly hair section and I don't see how it's self hating when I straighten it. I don't hate myself at all... so no I don't consider it self hating. It's no different than some girls coloring their hair, wearing extensions etc. In my case, I straighten my hair because it's more manageable for me then till the next time I wash my hair plus I like the waves it makes the next day after I've slept on it and it's fun to switch styles every now and then. Variation is good. I don't straighten my hair because of society or because I think it will make me look prettier. To the contrary I think I look my best when my hair is wavy and I sometimes even end up curling my hair again after straightening it just because I might not like how I look with my straight hair that day or for whatever reason. People switch up their style all the time. Be it a new hair cut, outfit, handbag... life would be so boring for me if I couldn't do that :)

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  • Self hating? No. I'm proud of my heritage, but I currently wear my hair straight. Why? Because I like it. That's the only reason. Straight haired women get perms all the time. And no one ever calls them self-hating. What? You think that having curly hair is only an African thing? Wake up. A lot of nationalities have straight hair.

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    • Where did I say it was only an African thing? Who even mentioned African? I'm in America, so...?

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    • Because you're making no sense at all, and fishing for answers like every other insecure GAG user does. If you have a problem with someone commenting on a discussion, then why did you post this on an online forum to begin with?

    • Uh oh, we have an internet tough guy alert

      And how is this about insecurity? by the way, what's the point of going anon up above? You kinda revealed yourself

  • No it's not self hating, why are people who have curly hair only allowed to keep their hair curly? And if they change it why is it automatically self hate? What if it just suits their style more?

    At the moment I don't even have straight hair, my pictures are out of date and my hair is in long braids link . Occasionally I go natural, other times I get other more African styles. But are you seriously suggesting that for the few weeks I might have straight hair I'm hating myself, but the rest I'm suddenly okay.

    I noticed the bias in your reference of straight hair as 'more feminine' I disagree they can be equally feminine, but it doesn't matter you're free to your opinion.

    And what is natural these days, most things are completely unnatural as of the 21st century. By your standards changing your hair colour perhaps from brown to blond would be self hating. Perhaps even getting piercings to wear standard womens earrings is as well because metal through the ears isn't exactly 'natural'.

    Your argument lacks a lot of logic I'm afraid. However I won't deny that there are women out there who do have a problem and do express their desire to belong to another racial category. For them the more they change their physical appearance in concordance with that category, the closer they feel to becoming it. However this minute, specific, insecure group across races should not be generalized to the confident and free larger population.

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    • Brown hair is not limited to race, blond is usually. As I said below I do think dying ones hair blond is self hating and tacky if you aren't white (usually ghetto looking) and Hispanics tend to do it for self hating reasons

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    • I don't know if you hate yourself and I don't care. Most black girls have an inferiority complex which is understandable. But hello, freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is all or nothing

    • I'm not saying you have to care, in fact didn't even ask. But your criteria implies that I have a problem in which I in addition to others I know don't. We are both aware you can't really judge an opinion as right/wrong, but an opinion can be justified as wrong if it's formed on facts that are incorrect or simply biased (Note: Yours is). An inferiority complex? Nope, not me at all. If anything it's quite the opposite actually, but I prefer modesty. And why are black girls being bought into this?

  • No. It's called styling. I look great with both straight or curly and I'm still gonna be all woman no matter which. Those women know they have beautiful hair and it looks beautiful on them so they rock it either way they want. Everyone wants to try different styles girls with straighter hair want curly and volume, girls with curly wanna try straight do a short cut. Women just love to style and try new things. It's not only style it fashion, it's expression. When clothes and make-up can't always get it done hair is the next statement. There's even some women who shave their head like Cassie and Danai Guirra. Dying their hair unnatural hues like Girl Codes Nessa Nitty and Carly Acquelino. People with pretty hair even wear wigs like Nikki Minaj. So that must be self-hating too; cutting, curling, wearing a wig, and dying ones hair also I guess?

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    • I do think dying hair blond (especially among Hispanics) is self hating. Hispanic girls who do that often refer to themselves as "white" in Spanish (slang).

      Straight hair is not a natural trait for black women. Yet they're altering the texture of their hair to look like other races

    • Hispanic is identifying more with white heritage as opposed to Latina/Latino is supposedly more identifying with African and native heritage. For that reason I could see it as being self hating. I've done blonde but it was because I wanted to. I'm black my hair is more naturally straight I have to work at it to have curly hair. Lol no I see other black women doing their hair because they want a style, like a bob. With some curly or frizzy textures a bob just won't work out.

  • Not at all. Perhaps in "some" cases but not from my perspective.

    I love my curly hair, and when I straighten it, it's solely because I like to change up my look from time to time... Same with makeup, would you say most girls are self hating because they wear it? They're covering up their natural face etc. Some people look drastically different with all that makeup on. I would say "most" do things to themselves because it's kind of boring to look the same every single day.

    Something that would actually "FIT" "self-hating", to me, would be someone who goes under surgery for superficial things such as, lips, boobs, butt, tummy tuck, nose jobs, ears, etc... That's changing yourself completely permanent, and you'd only do a permanent change if you don't like it, thus implying it could possibly be self-hating.

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  • It's self hating if she feels like it gives her some kind of added value that she doesn't have with her natural hair. That is, if she thinks straight hair makes her professional, beautiful, attractive, classy, etc. If she feels that by straightening her hair that she somehow acquires these attributes and cannot be any of these things with her natural texture then yes.

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  • It's not self hating. Sometimes people want to mix up their appearance. It doesn't mean they don't like themselves. I curl my naturally straight hair and it's never seen as self-hate, so why would it be the other way around?

    Also, the last girl in your "natural" section doesn't have naturally curly hair.

    Lastly, the insinuation that straight hair is feminine and curly hair is not is pretty gross.

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    • I meant to put her in the second category

      And it's not gross to state the obvious

      And again, straight hair is not natural for blacks. They're trying to assimilate to European ideals

  • No, I don't think so at all! I think it's just preference and what we like. Both are beautiful! I have straight hair, and I curl my hair often. Sometime you just want to be different to yourself. Shake things up a bit!

    Women (AND MEN), for centuries like to alter their appearance a bit. I think it's because we can.

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  • Not at all. If someone had straight hair and curled it, would you consider that self hate? No.

    It's simply styling your hair in a different way. There's nothing wrong with liking a bit of variety. I straighten my hair because I like the way it looks and it's a ton easier to handle when it's straightened. I wear my hair curly though too.

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    • Curly hair isn't really limited to race though. I should have left curly out, but natural girls can have curly hair (not big taylor swift curls, but it's curly). Straight hair, kinda is

  • If you despise your hair texture and think anyone who has your hair type should straighten it also, then yes it definitely is self hating. If you just like straight hair, without any negative feelings to your hair type, no. And straight hair doesn't equal feminine looking hair.

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  • The thing with beauty now a days is that it's everywhere and everythings. A lot of girls, including myself, put makeup on. It doensn't mean we hate ourselves. It just means that we're enhancing out looks. The same goes with hair. I too have curly hair, not that type, but the thing with curly hair is that it has a mind of its own. It's really hard trying to control curly hair, unlike straight hair. Personally though, I would love to have those small curls. I think that's beautiful

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  • Well, I don't think it's wrong to change it but some women might HATE their hair, most of us joke around while others' don't. I don't think it's self hate for the most part.

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  • It can look stylish if managed properly, but straight hair is ideal because it's easy to tame and style and it makes the person look more youthful.

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  • Not necessarily. It depends on the purpose of doing it. For some, maybe, but not all of course

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  • Or they could genuinely like that style of hair just like a lot of people. And why is that Asian girl in the category of super curly hair? Her hair was just curled slightly most likely with a curling iron.

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  • Is it self hating to wear makeup?

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    • On this website, yes, makeup is self hating and fake. As is nail polish, hair dye, perfume

    • Well I guess it depends on the reason one would straighten their hair or wear makeup. I am not a prissy girl, but I Love to get my nails done. I don't know why, I just like long nails and all the designs you can put on a nail. My hair is curly and it drives me crazy, but I wouldn't straighten it just to fit in. It takes too long and I don't give a shot what other people think about how I look. Although I do like to look good lol

  • No not at all. It's just a different style. I have curly hair and I like to straighten it occasionally to switch things up

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  • No. If a girl wants to straighten her hair that's her choice.

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  • Is it self hating to wear make up?

    Or a push up bra?

    Or heels?

    Or anything that alters the way that you naturally look?

    No, just as long as you don't hate the way that you look naturally. This goes with anything. If you HAVE to straighten your hair as a crutch because you can't stand the way it looks curly then yes, that's self hate (just like if you HAVE to wear a push up bra because you're not comfortable with your bra size would be self hatred), but if you use it moderately or as another option (as I do.. I straighten once a month, but I love my curls too).

    I say everything in moderation. If you wear makeup occasionally that's fine. If you have to hide behind a full face of heavy makeup everyday just to go outside your house that's a problem.

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  • i dye my hair, that doesn't make me self hating, I curl my naturally poker straight hair, that isn't self hating either.

    its just personal preference and no one is trying to look like another race because hair alone won't make too much difference. imo the women who are self hating are the ones who bleach their skin and the women who have (cosmetic reasons only) plastic surgery

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