I need an opinion from guys over 40.

Think of this scenario:

You've been talking to a girl on Facebook for a couple of weeks, and you have no idea how she looks like. You seem to enjoy your conversations, otherwise you wouldn't keep talking to her, right? The only thing you know about her is that she's still in college and is in her mid-20s, and that you have several things in common.

When you finally go out on a date, it's practically a bling date for you, since you don't know how she looks like.

Question is:

how important is her looks at that point? I'm thinking younger guys would be more likely to ditch a girl if her looks doesn't match your expectations, but I'm thinking an older guy would be more mature and might be able to look past that, if the characters match.

So, yeah... how likely is it that you'd ditch her just because her looks is unlike what you expected (in a negative way, of course)?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If the interest is at all physical, then some discussion of looks has likely already come up, potentially.

    The possible deal-breaker would be if she had misrepresented her looks in any way.

    It is true that mature men will focus more on what the woman has to offer the relationship, other than just "looks."

    However, just as it matters to women what the guy looks like, when they decide if they like being approached or not or who they might date without knowing the person very well, it still matters to guys, even if they are over 40.

    It is possible for initial physical attraction to be completely and totally subsumed by other considerations with regards to both men and women. And it is also possible that what an individual has decided that they are looking for in a companion has graduated beyond the physical attractiveness of the person. Eventually there are plenty of things that can be more important than raw sexual attraction, and I think everyone figures this out with time.

    So in many ways it depends on the individual, and on circumstance.

    It depends on what the guy is looking for. He may be at some point in his life where all he cares about is someone that is able to keep him engaged mentally, or shares his values, or makes a good partner without taking physical considerations into play.

    It is still possible, throughout life no matter what age you are, to be looking for someone that meets ones desires physically.

    That makes this question really impossible to answer for sure.

    Ultimately, I think that you are right that odds are that a younger person is more likely to consider looks a deal-breaker. But it isn't absolute.

    One of the truths about age: what we find "hot" and "attractive" doesn't change. Whether you are male or female, as far as I know. "Sexy" is still "sexy." And insofar as age contributes to what we all think of as attractive, it is still a factor in what you are attracted to, regardless of your own age.

    I see similar questions on here frequently, so I'll point this out too: people we call "ugly" are still governed by what all of us call "attractive." "Ugly" people don't find other "ugly" people attractive: they're attracted to the same things everyone else is.

    There is, unfortunately nothing that makes a less attractive person more physically attracted to another less attractive person.

    Those of us in the "less attractive" category just have to mature and recognize what makes a relationship work, and how physical attraction is only one small part of it all, easily overruled by other considerations.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Wouldn't a FB account have at least one picture of her? I would have to be physically attracted to her. Without a doubt. The sticking point is that what one guy finds attractive, another guy finds unattractive.

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    • it's a 2nd account, which doesn't contain any personal details.

      yes I'm aware of that, also aware that it is different from one guy to another. But just asking what would you do if her looks aren't quite like what you'd expected? Not ugly, just maybe a bit below average.

    • as I said, I have to find her attractive. Whether she's on the lower end of that scale or the higher end of what I consider attractive, she's gotta fit in that mold. If she's near the bottom - I'm still getting to date a 25 year old...so that's pretty cool.

    • He makes a good point.

  • I go on dates to have a good time. If I had talked to her a lot, I would in all probability have a good time. Could I then have a relationship? Unless her appearance or habits were too extreme, yes. Character and personality trump looks. Lastly, some women though not having a 'classic' beauty, have style and grace, which is attractive.

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  • My dear froend.it is easy. Forget about the looks etc. If you feel positive vibrations when you see her for the first time then you feel lucky yourself and enjoy her company!

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  • Older mature gentleman would never ditch a girl. I absolutely would date much younger. Looks matter, I like mature younger woman that are fun. I would not ditch her and make the best of it, if I wasn't interested. Unless she's a rude person id try to make it a plesant date.

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