What things in common do guys look for in relationships?
But then if guys look for commonality, how does the "opposites attract" work?
I don't get it. Do guys prefer similar - like best friends? or different - to avoid boredom and add spice?
Most Helpful Guy
"Opposites attracts" works on a mind level. The mind is abhorred with similarity, it has been trained to operate in this manner, especially with Western education. Teachers tell you to notice the differences, rarely do they encourage students to for similarities. Subconsciously, the mind is trained to think "I am bored unless something different new is put in front of me". While this is "good" in some ways, but if you look carefully, truly innovative products are rare; the internet being one of them.
On a heart level, opposites never attracts. Say, if you have the desire to steal, to harm others to benefit yourself, would you make good friends, or even enter a great relationship with someone who is your opposite ?
On a relationship level, those who operate on the mind predominantly may enter "opposite attracts" relationship. There is only one result --- separation. This happens when there is nothing new about the other person anymore. Try eating your favourite food (from ice cream to caviar) every meal for 5 days and see what happens...this also accounts for many extra-marital affairs and divorces.
In the long run, similar personalities, background, interests, purposes of life, ... stay together.
Take a look at nature, there are symbiotic and parasitic relationships. Parties in these relationships USE each other. But do you see them mating each other ? Do you see a cow chasing a bird for intimate relationships ? This is a lesson for many human beings to learn --- stop USING each other to relieve each's boredom (opposite attracts), and start using their heart, and stop letting the mind control the heart, i.e. reverse the master-servant role relationship. You can bet there will then be a lot fewer divorces, extra-marital affairs, and abuses in all forms, and a lot more happy people on the streets.