Nice Guys vs Bad Boys – Top 9 Reasons “Being Nice” Won’t Get You the Girl (Page 2)
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The problem with being "nice" is that it's not based in values, but rather, is based in tactics. Nice guys DO "nice guy tactics" because they're hoping to engineer a particular result. But there's no value system to prop up those tactics, so they ring hollow and fake. I view "nice" and "good" as different things. Being a "good" guy means doing the right thing EVEN WHEN NOBODY IS WATCHING. It's a behaviour based in self determined values. Being "nice" is a kind of performance theatre, and a pretty opaque one at that.
I want a man who is nice yet he can take charge when need be.Most of the females that commented aren't even over 25 except for me who happens to be 34 and want a genuine, honest,loyal, and just plain kind man. They base everything on looks at that age and don't care how guys treat them because the guy is hot. Let me say some of them not all of them.
You're exactly right Mannie. You're not being nice because you're trying to get some girl's approval, instead you're being nice with a backbone and with boundaries. I think women find that much more attractive.
Well beside all those things being a nice guy or girl doesn't add any value sexually.
Would you want a ugly, overweight but a nice girl? Would you care how nice she treats you? NO! You would say well thank you for being nice to me but i'm not entitled for your niceness.
Women think the same. Being nice doesn't do much.
What women and men want is obvious. It's all evolutionary mechanism.
Men want healthy, young, fertile women.
Women want strong, confident, masculine type of men.
So why women go for bad boys? They have these traits. And those "nice guys" don't.
So being nice doesn't add any value, you should be nice by default.
Wow , I was reading, only got until num 5.... oh this doesn't work with me at all... oh no -.- ........................ I LOVE THE NICE BOY, I love the shy , considerate and caring guy, instead of the stubborn, inconsiderate, and self-centered guy. I rather reach a consensus both agree than a stupid battle-field of which can get most of what they want. I love it when guys try to spoil you, though, I do the same.
Some of your reasons are.... good, but I disagree on many of your points. I am a bit of a controling person, I don't like to control other people, but I like to control myself and my life. if someone comes along for the ride then that's great, but it's my life and I'm in control of my life. I like to lead dates and I like to lead my life. he can lead his life, but he needs to let me do what I need.
You are only 27 and you think this attitude will work for you, 15 years down the line you will be a lesbian because no man wants another domineering mother. Or miserable on your own having the odd fuck and dump. So sunwolf94 write this in your diary. I have seen many many cases like this. Where I live there probably 1000 lonely women looking for men, but at this stage, catches are gone, we have in our community many more women than men. So hardarse get on with it we don't need you., we have many women who want a man.
So are you the type that asks the guy out on a date?
The "nice guy vs. jerks" debate is perhaps the most misunderstood concept in dating. Nearly everything written or spoken about the subject entirely misses the point.
What is the point?
The point is that women who prefer "jerks" are actually looking for men to abuse them.
That's it.
No mystery.
These women are mildly abusive and/or masochistic and are looking for guys who'll play into their warped dysfunction.
The man you described, women want, is not a "bad boy". A bad boy is an egotistic a**hole. No girl ever wanted a bad boy. Merely a normal self respecting and an honest man. This is why I have to compliment this article, because among other things, it sends this message across.
Look from my experience women want men first and foremost that are kind, loving, generous, gentle and be able to stand in front of her and slap any other guys making catcalls, and just disrespecting her. Secretly wanting to lust by her husband who cannot get enough sex from her. Loyal husband.
Naughty BOY?
Wait, how come all the women are agreeing with this article? I thought you wanted a sensitive man? I guess you were lying to us in the 1990s, huh. Women aren't really feminists. They are opportunists. If you tell a man that he can have free sex everyday, he'll take it. If you tell a woman, that she can run a man over, take his house, get alimony and live happily ever after, she'll take it. That's what this feminism crap was all about. Taking a man for everything.
This is a very good article. Most of the time, I think men pay for women because deep down, they don't really like the person they are with. I've only really met a couple women in my life that I actually liked. The rest I was just wasting time with. Once you find a woman you actually like, everything else kind of falls into place.
How the f*** did you come to that conclusion. You need to stop being a manipulative wussypuss who's faking to display only what the girl wants to see, and BE what the girl wants. A relationship won't function if you're incompatible. That's what this is about, not about "taking action" in the sense that you force a random female into sexual submission through threats of physical violence. Like, wtf?
Finally, I'm glad someone else gets it. There are way too many men on this site who confuse "nice guy" with "push over". Every single point in this article is dead on. Women like a challenge, and a man who knows what he wants. I used to be a "nice guy" too. But I grew a pair. I'm still a nice dude, but I respect myself enough to know when to stand up for myself.
lol I never tire between bad boys vs nice guys topics and threads.
How about just man up and say what's on your mind, if it doesn't work who gives a f*** and move on.
Not to say your article sucks, I agree with a lot of it but damn- everyone has their own "guidelines" to everything nowadays. Just f***ing do it!
Not all girls are so merciless and stuck-up, that they'll immediately look down on the guy if he does such things as not standing up for himself when she snaps at him, or for asking her what she wants to do. Not every woman likes the same things, but what jdcpa wins is that his point applies to all sorts of women. A lot of girls have nothing to offer the guy, except sex. Yet they sit there in all their glory as if they're something magnificent. Other girls though, realize where they stand.
Seriously, one article doesn't apply to all girls. Like "Bleep" basically said, you just got to get out there and meet people. You can ask questions and read articles and stuff, but if you act the way someone else says to act or not act, then you're not being yourself. And being yourself is the most important part of meeting people and creating relationships.
As far as the degrading blah blah goes, looking at women you don't even know this way, is more realistic than looking at women you don't even know like a perfect angel and disney princess of fairy-tale goodness.
B/c the truth is, as a new guy approaching her, the way she's thinking of you is creepy sex-hungry abusive/killer/rapist/criminal, (until proven wrong), rather than fairy-tale prince charming (until proven wrong).
So it's good to have the same conservative mentality.
The only way you'd know that prior to approaching her is if the only value she has to you is based on the way she looks, and that you've determined she looks like a perfect 10, therefore her value is a 10.
But if there's more value to her (for you) besides just how she looks, then you won't know if she is or isn't a perfect 10 until AFTER you both APPROACH her, AND you GET TO KNOW her.
So what you can do to keep those nice girls feeling good about themselves (as opposed to doubting themselves, being insecure, and potentially turning into real b*tches) is to just go up and talk to her. For as long as you're honest, and not coming off like you're pressuring her to like you or have sex with you, you'd be surprised just how well things will go.
Don't live in your head! Get out of your head! Don't live in fear! Live in, who cares?, I don't give a sh*t, and the now; not the what if
i have seen more women with nice men. maybe there is something wrong with your culture especially since many people like you think anything badass is cool. sorry we have different mindsets then. its just wrong if you think being good means being submissive. girls don't like submissive guys.
Would a nice guy forget to make reservations? no, he wouldn't be found in that situation... Being super nice to her may not be a turn on but I'm not trying to shag her, since when was that the goal? ... Women don't like guys who open up to them? They want to date people not computers, sure mystery is good but that's overcooking it. Being nice is manipulative? you are suggesting that people be bad boys to get women to like them (manipulation) Its a 50/50 race, I get dates fine as a nice guy.