The nicest rejection I ever had

Accipiter

The nicest rejection I ever had


It's never easy to be rejected by someone you like, or to reject someone who likes you. Being rejected can break your spirit and self esteem. Rejecting someone who likes you can evoke feelings of personal guilt. I've been on both ends of this spectrum. Sometimes the perosn being rejected won't take no for an answer, and will persist. Admittedly, I've been that guy before. I was disillusioned to think that she would reconsider if I tried harder. Even though some people actually have changed their minds after they rejected someone, it doesn't always work.


This brings up the question: What can you do to prevent these guilty feelings of rejecting someone?


This is a true story I'd like to share with all of you:


A long time ago I was at a crowded party. I was chatting up this beautiful girl who I had just met. We mingled and flirted briefly. I thought things were going pretty well as we were making small talk, until she decided she wasn't that interested in me for whatever reason. She said to me,


"Look, you seem like a great guy. But I'm not up for mingling with anyone tonight. I'm sure there's lots of girls around here who'd love to chat with you. Now go out there and find her!"


I was stunned. This was the nicest rejection ever. I had great respect for her saying this and I didn't attempt to keep trying with her. Even though she wanted me gone for whatever reason, she threw in a compliment and said it in such a way that neither one of us would feel bad about it. I accepted her rejection and didn't try harder. I smiled and thanked her.


The way she delievered this rejection was perfect:



  • She was direct and played no games

  • She threw in a double sided compliment

  • Even though she turned me down, she motivated me to try my luck with another girl

  • She reminded me that there are lots of great girls out there who'd love to date me


This is a fine example of the age old expresion:


"Tact. It's telling someone to go to hell and making them happy to be on their way."

The nicest rejection I ever had
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