Jaded Men Who Hate Women

[Epiphanies]

I've been noticing a trend on this site (and life) lately and it mostly has to do with people asking questions about and directing issues towards the way that women are treated in the mating game.

Over the period of my short life, I've seen many men become disenchanted by women. They are becoming increasingly upset about being rejected by women... and most of them are willing to place the entirety of the blame on women. I don't know what it is but it is definitely a characteristic of Generation-X. The Me-Generation. We will find fault with anyone but ourselves. We will be willing to blame anyone but ourselves. Even if this means deceiving ourselves.

Accordingly, these men blame women. They'll look up books on pick-up artistry, call any girl wearing a mini skirt a hoe and will be mistrustful of women in general. All because their crush from Junior High won't give them the time of day.

"You need to figure out your place in the world, figure out what you have to offer, and go from there."

Forgive me for being condescending, boys, but frankly, I'm getting a little sick of the pity party. There's no punch and there's only so many days of Halo 2 that I can take.

So you were rejected a few times at a bar. You consider yourself a nice guy and you don't understand why girls don't recognize that and aren't willing to go out with you. You're mad at them for being so damn superficial and you wish they would realize what an awesome person you are.

And here is my answer to that:

1. You are superficial too.

Superficiality is the constant of our lives. If you are getting mad at a girl for being picky, why don't you try her less-fortunate looking friend sitting in the corner? You won't, right? Because you deserve a girl better than that? Well, what made you so special? If you're blaming women for being superficial about physical appearances, social standing and such, the first thing you need to do is look at yourself.

Are you superficial? Why should anyone be willing to overlook things that you wouldn't overlook? It's a quid pro quo world, my friend. We can't all date Megan Fox. You need to figure out your place in the world, figure out what you have to offer, and go from there.

2. All guys think they're good guys.

Even Jude Law. I'm serious, he thinks he's a saint. I know this because I told my high school crush he was a bad guy after a punched the carnival assistant in the face. He looked like I sacked him.

So if you're looking over at Don Juan buying your ex-girlfriend a drink and wonder why she's going for that arse- don't worry about it. Because someone somewhere out there thinks you're an arse. You are all collectively arses... stop looking at other men as undeserving of the girls they score. They're not. You're all undeserving.

3. Girls don't reject you for their own amusement.

Yes, they want attention. Yes, they like the attention they get from you. No, they aren't saying no when you approach them because they have no souls. They are either insecure or in a relationship or not looking for a relationship or they're just not into you because there is something about you that doesn't sit well with them. That's life. Not every girl you approach will give you the time of day just because you were brave enough to walk up to them. We didn't walk up to Hitler and expect him to disband his reign of terror. We had to fight for it.



So what exactly is wrong with you? Who knows and who cares. If she doesn't want you, why would you want her anyway? For sex? Save it. If that's all you want her for, you don't deserve her. You want to have a meaningful relationship with her? Why? You probably know nothing about her. Her killer smile doesn't automatically give her a killer personality. Just move on.

And please don't blame women for wanting some moderate attention (notice the use of the word moderate), it's biology. You may want to be acknowledged for how beautiful your garden looks but that doesn't mean you want to plant flowers for your entire neighborhood. If you think it's unfair, stop looking.

We all need affirmation in some form or another. Females are pushed to have that affirmation in terms of male attention. We don't make the rules, we just play by them. Seriously, if I'm spending two hours on my hair, I don't think it's too much to ask for a guy to appreciate how I look. And also, sometimes we are out to have a good time with the girls with no male intervention whatsoever. Weird, right? It happens.

4. I am not your ex-girlfriend Amy, who had sex with your best friend on top of your grandmother's bed... or the girl who stood you up at Hot Tub Time Machine last night...

So can you stop treating us all like a package deal? Yes, I know there are women out there who manipulate men and try to use them to their advantage but I am not that girl. Neither are my friends. So when you try to play games in order to avenge your broken heart, you're hurting both of us. You're hurting me because I'm being screwed with for no reason and you're hurting yourself because you're making yourself emotionally unavailable to anything with me ever.

I have opened myself up to you and made myself vulnerable. I've put everything I value on the line and you're using it to either have sex with me and then never call me again or never call again because I won't have sex on the second date.

5. You're looking for the wrong girls.

I know you hear it from your girl friends all the time but seriously, they are right. If you constantly go after girls who don't give a crap about you, what do you expect to accomplish? Yay, you'll have a 10 on your arm who likes to sleep with the pool boy. Is it worth it in the end? Only if you have no respect for women or yourself. Trust me, I hate these women too. I see them all the time. The ones who'll ditch you after you buy them UGGs or fool around with your brother-in-law when he separates with your sister. They make life so difficult for me in so many ways, I can't even start. They are the reason why quality men are jaded and want to screw me and chuck me.

"Focus on your priorities and interests - that is what love is made of."

But these girls won't learn and there isn't any changing them. They are a fixture in our life. A obstacle to jump over, not plumbing that you keep undoing again and again. Get over them. They are jerks. They will not change but to assume that every girl is them is the pit that you're all falling into.

So stop falling and start catching. Stop looking at external appearances and social interactions. Instead, focus on your priorities and interests. Something like the former will end up in one of you breaking up after two months, the latter is what love is made of.

You can go ahead and keep on discarding women like champagne-soaked paper towels on New Year's Eve, but what are you doing? You're destroying women who have done nothing to you and are just trying their best to live within societal norms in a world that is constantly telling them that they are imperfect. Maybe a few of them have hurt you but the majority are out there looking for someone who they have something in common with. Now it's up to you to figure out what you're doing wrong.

Instead of looking outwards, look inwards to understand why you keep getting the duds and where the hell all this anger is coming from anyway... and then go TP Amy's house to get some of it out.

I'll help.

[Anonymous]

I quick question if you will?
This has been bothering me for about a year now.

My roommate fits a few of these qualities, and at the same time he doesn't...
Long and short of it, he spent the last two years with his fiance, selling everything he had, doing whatever it took, to make her happy. In the end it ended, and she had cheated on him repeatedly, and he was oblivious until the end when her last meal ticket fell through and she was talking to him and he was about to take her back.

Aside from that, my question, is what of this situation?
He drank a lot, god knows he probably cried his eyes out.
But as of the last 7 or so months, he's just given up.

He doesn't hate women. He expresses nothing of the sort. He literally, just wrote them off.
He's a decent looking guy, has a great job, goes to college to advance his own life goals. But he gives no thought to women. I have tried introducing him to a few, he is polite but makes it clear there is no interest to them.
At bars, I've seen him shoot women down that come to talk to him. He is about as tactful of the situation as I can think of, but still offers them no chance.
So I would ask, what to do with him?

He isn't bitter, he doesn't generalize, he's just given them up.
He doesn't date, he doesn't have sex. He works, goes to school, and does things he enjoys.

It just pains me a bit to see such a decent person having given up on women.

Which is why I felt compelled to post having read this, as he doesn't really fit the bill.
He just has no place for them in his life anymore.
And I quote "I can cook, clean, sew, do my own laundry, take care of any sexual needs. So tell me bro? Why should I complicate my life? I work, I have my hobbies and friends, I don't feel the need anymore."

What is others opinions here?
Much appreciated!

[MoeMoe]

I find it also funny how a lot of women generalize the so called "nice men" as wussies, pushovers, doormats and "to nice". Such BS generalization! The so called "nice men" can just as easily have some dbag sides to them usually without the a**hole part and usually the "nice guys" have more confidence that the douchebags!

[MoeMoe]

These type of men and women go from guy to guy to guy to woman to woman. These relationships are only extremely short term usually 1 nighters. Or if they are longer term she's usually just as screwed up as that douchebag. She most likely didn't have a father figure. I could do the one nighters but I hate that one night shi**y feeling and feels like a bad hangover. I will gladly wait for an actual lady not a girl but a lady that wants the actual long term relationship.

[MoeMoe]

"My problem is with who these girls are choosing. They reject respectable guys and go out with wife-beaters and deadbeats. They won't give a loyal guy the time of the day because he's to boring, but the mega-douche with the tatoos and the motorcycle who doesn't have a job can get 10X the girls that the other guy gets." So true! It's so damn funny how so many of these attractive women date the down right losers (not educated, ex cons, cons, no job, no job prospects) but at the same time...

[MoeMoe]

without the a**hole parts. The men that actually cares about you actually on the contrary to many womens beliefs are more confident then the douche bags. Why do you think douchebags are douchbags? You think cause they have confidence? Complete BS the douchebags are the least confident cause they are not at all comfortable with themselves, they have no confidence, and in actuality they are wussies. Douchebags are so not confident with themselves they are the complete unsure type of men!

[MoeMoe]

The downright dou*he bags that could care less about you. Contrary to a lot of womens beliefs the douche bags or as women call them the "cool" guys they are the ultimate cheaters, could give a sh*t about you and the a**holes are just that, a**holes and they are that way for a reason. Plus these "douche bags" young women like usually take their anger out on her (beating her), kicking her, throwing her. Oh yeah sounds like a total winner! Nice guys can have and usually do have all three parts...

[MoeMoe]

""We are 10 times better at reading body language than you are.We might say we want a nice guy but we actually mean we want a somewhat cocky WITH humorous one, which is why nice guys finish last.Nice and shy does NOT build attraction.Cocky builds tension and when you follow it with humor it releases tension, thus building attraction which is not logical but that's how it works.If you make love to our mind you get the body as a bonus" This is funny cause it translates to women want the a**holes..

[MoeMoe]

11's most likely are the cheaters, the guys and women that have been married already three, four or 5 times have 3, 4 or 5 kids either from the same woman or from different ladies and men cause she and he are always sleeping around.

[MoeMoe]

next to you but we want to go out with YOU. This also flips back onto the women as well cause there are also a ton of women that think they are all THAT and so many talk about we want this "Tom Cruise". A lot of you women are in the same category as in your also shooting way to high on your scale. You want the 11 but reality is your guy is going to be around an 7 or an 8, yes that's obviously still hot but that's your range not the 11. Plus the 10's and 11's do you really want? The 10's and

[MoeMoe]

"Superficiality is the constant of our lives. If you are getting mad at a girl for being picky, why don't you try her less-fortunate looking friend sitting in the corner?" This comment is such a bunch of BS... What she really is meaning by this is her ugly a** friend that's 300 lbs, missing teeth and disgusting. NOOOOOOO we don't effin want your effin "friend"! Don't you get it when were talking to YOU! We want to go out with YOU, not your friend, not your friends friend, not the lady...

[MoeMoe]

It's not at all that were "jaded" that we men are purely repulsed with all these women that even though they are in their late 20's early 30's they are still acting like they are 18, throwing their girl temper tantrums and women constantly bitc*ing about how oh it's great to be ultra picky and no way will I ever settle blah blah blah. Then on top of all that so many women want this glamorous 1st BS date. Men are like why waste time asking you out if all your going to do is always say no.

[vamtheanomaly]

Great post! Let me translate that into man language for the guys:

"We are 10 times better at reading body language than you are.We might say we want a nice guy but we actually mean we want a somewhat cocky WITH humorous one, which is why nice guys finish last.Nice and shy does NOT build attraction.Cocky builds tension and when you follow it with humor it releases tension, thus building attraction which is not logical but that's how it works.If you make love to our mind you get the body as a bonus

[justanotherguy00001]

Everyone judges superficially. Guys, girls, everyone does it. You know why? It's cause it's the FIRST thing we see and hear. What's actually important is the ability for us to change our opinion about someone after that first impression instead of ignoring it.

I've met many Very pretty girls who turned out crazy as well as very nice, decent ones.

I've met many unattractive girls who turned out crazy, as well as decent ones.

Maybe that's just me. (I'm sure us guys are similar though.)

[Hades]

I intend to, which is why I'm going to get out of the west and move to a different country. All I can hope for is that, in around 20-30 years, enough women that benefit from the sexist situation we have now will suffer and be lonely like so many men are now since their looks will have faded. That will make it even. Balance and fairness will be restored.

[ttrtt]

excuse my errors, auto correct screwed it up

[ttrtt]

I find it interesting that you accuses men of being angry an playing a blame game and says to look within. Women don't have to look within though right.Since the male sex drive keeps them searching They get to just keep overlooking good people and illogically getting attracted to idiot alpha males with one dimensional personalities and fall pray to manipulation. Talk that talk ladies, but until your actual behavior and dating practices change. Your gonna keep seeing more and more jaded men.

[ttrtt]

another thing, its really hard to actually take in anything in articles like these as anything other than hersay because the average woman's dating precipitates almost always completely contradict everything they say about what they want from the opposite gender. Time and time again I meet women who say things just like this article and then date someone whos a total douche and just uses the same old cocky/funny manipulative tactics. And I can't even blame those guys because they're just doing what works.

[ttrtt]

This article also leaves out another group of men who have been successful with women and are still growing disenchanted with them (American ones anyway). Such as myself. I've dated many different types of women over the years and so far reading people and playing the cocky a**hole with a few jokes thrown in does the trick the best. Which is what disappoints me. Honesty and sincerity only work with a few, the good ones. And there aren't many of those around.

[ttrtt]

a lot of these issues from my experience have been American problem. After living abroad dating outside of the US for a few years. I definitely feel that the dating field here is generally more of a frustrating experience. Whether your getting rejected or not. Foreign women don't act so entitled and are much easier to get along with during the courting phase. And during the relationship. They respond better to sincerity and return honesty with honesty by enlarge(imo)

[fdsgb]

The only women I encounter who make arguments in this vein are insufferable harpies that only desperate losers and empty-headed douchebags are willing to put up with for a short while.

Yawn.

[Epiphanies]

@Hades: Whatever works for you, man.

@justanotherguy00001: You're right. I think the best thing to do is keep an open mind at all times.

[Epiphanies]

@GoodStuff: Why do guys automatically get defensive and claim they're not superficial? All men are geared to value looks- this is a scientifically quantifiable fact. All it's about is figuring out your market value and shooting for the girl that fits it (P.S. men usually score women who are better looking than them anyway since women don't value looks that much)

@Hades: Easier/harder/valuable/invaluabe situation aside, human beings are created in this way. Men pursue females. Make the best of it

[Epiphanies]

Thanks for your feedback everyone. I realize that we have very diverse opinions about this subject matter so I'm very grateful for all this discussion.

[Epiphanies]

See there's more blame right there. Instead of looking to yourselves, you're blaming "feminism"

[emmabee11]

Forget about targeting men, were all as bad as each other. Some women hate men too, we do it all the time "oh that guy/girl hurt me I hate them and all men/women" on both sides it happens unfortunatly.

[Epiphanies]

Wowz1, if you honestly believe that you're not doing anything wrong then all I can say is to seek patience.

Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where we're guaranteed to find a mate. It's kind of like looking for a job that you have all the credentials for- you don't understand why you're not getting hired. Maybe there's someone else more qualified, maybe all the positions are taken, maybe there aren't any positions at all.

You just need to be able to wait for your lucky break.

[phluxsix]

So yeah. Stop being angry, guys.

Its ok.

Just find love in each other, and kill off your sex drive.

...

Fun Fact: The Romans considered the love women had for men, to be inferior to the love men had for each other.

Maybe you should keep that in mind.

...

Castrate yourself, and your sex drive will go away.

Then those people not liking you, won't matter anymore.

And you can be pretty and beautiful too.

[phluxsix]

Honestly, I think most boys just want validation rather than sex.

A lot of them would just prefer masturbation to sex with women anyway.

At least in their dreams, they get to be pretty, and valued, and special.

(And their sexuality gets to be something good, rather than oppressive and horrible.)

[phluxsix]

Also, pro tip for boys: If you find yourself way too attracted to people that make you feel like shit about yourself, and you don't want to be anymore...

Castrate yourself, and your sex drive will go away. Then it won't really be as much of an issue anymore.

(It also helps with the whole androgyny thing too.)

[phluxsix]

Boys are given a MUCH more narrow means of gender expression, as opposed to women.

This makes them feel ugly and worthless, and hate everything.

(They're really only projecting their own self loathing on the ones who reject them.)

[phluxsix]

Personally, I think more and more jaded boys should try to have relationships with each other.

Maybe if they started being with each other instead, they could finally know what its like to be considered loved and beautiful.

Maybe that's also why gay guys seem happier and more attractive than straight guys.

[phluxsix]

The anger comes from boys thinking their sexuality is considered something "Bad, ugly, or oppressive" in general.

When they are rejected, in addition to this belief, it merely reinforces it.

[persephone00000]

awesome article, definitely sharing it!

[FloppyBunny]

nice!

[Epiphanies]

Well, sure it's understandable. Women are exactly in the same boat- they figure if they're nice enough and good looking enough, they shouldn't have a problem finding someone similar. The idea is not to get bogged down by ruined expectations and be proactive in getting what you want.

[want2helpout84]

Wow good article! :-) Thank you for making it!

[Epiphanies]

Asailum, I'm sorry a girl was rude to you but you don't seem like such a charmer yourself. You don't seem to have anything to say about my article so I suggest you save your ranting for someone else.

Bunny, sorry but it's true.

[BunnyToast]

You go girl, you effing go! This is what I'm always trying to say to men but they never believe me! Just, there is nothing about this article that is wrong.

[aster]

can I have an amen? seriously!

love the sh*t storm you caused and you know the fact is the reason guys get so pissed is because it hit a soft spot for them - it's true.

[candlewax]

You're never aware of how bad society's reading comprehension is til you read stuff like this. People love to get offended .

I agree with you. I also agree that it goes both ways and that a lot of people have this mentality that they should get what they want just because they want. I've heard too many "nice guy," friends whine about being the nice guy and used are also not as innocent as they think they are. They go after the wrong girl and expect things to go their way because they're, "nice