This is an age old battle... More or less everyone would say personality is what they base a relationship on. I would also like to say that, however... I doubt this is really ever the case.
How often do we actually date anyone we have known for years?
It's more common that people date people they haven't known too long, which more or less means they aren't in it for personality. Personality may define the relationship at a later stage, but the argument has always seemed to circle the beginning. Anyway many people won't date anyone they have known for a certain amount of time as they feel they are already 'friends' and therefore stuck in that zone, A place in which people don't like to venture out of, for fear of losing someone they're close to.
Would we date someone with personality, but who was unattractive to us?
Again something we often say, that yes we would. But again this raises issues, most people want to be in a relationship with someone so they can have a future with, get married to, introduce to their friends, have kids, etc. Would we marry someone we aren't attracted to and may even feel a little embarrassed to be with in public? Would you want kids? Would you even be able to have the relations needed to have kids with the person if you aren't physically attracted to them?
Would we settle for personality when it comes down to it?
Why settle for someone who has personality, but no looks... Also would we settle for someone who has looks, but no personality? Why would we not simply look for someone who fits into both categories for us? Doing either of the first two would always have the sort of thing that bothers you deep down in the back of your mind. The third option is, by common sense, the best one. Sure it is harder to do, but surely worth it?
What does personality have over looks?
Well looks fade eventually, in theory at least... Personally I believe, that beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder. Pretty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty is in the soul. Of course personality is unique to everyone, looks are unique, but common features are something we often associate attraction to... The term is therefore more broad.
What does looks have over personality?
From my own experience of it, I feel that the attracted to a person that I am, the more passion I physically exude onto them. There is alot of electricity, feeling and passion. It also gets general approval, People are often more tolerant of attractive types and someone who looks attractive and well groomed will also look like an interesting person until proved otherwise.
Problem?
Personality? How well do we really know anyone, Alot of people change how they act around different people, If we don't like someone we act differently towards them than those we like, how do they act around people they neither like nor hate? Who knows? Which of the three variations is the persons true self? It's probably the person they are when they are around everyday people, people who aren't friends that they are trying to impress, people who aren't their object of hate, people who aren't targets of attraction to them. This makes it hard to truly define who a person really is. Looks? As I've already said, looks will fade with age. But looks can also be high maintenance. It can also make people vain. Peoples opinion of beauty also varies, so you could still get friends who don't like the person you date.
Which do I think actually affects our original choice? Looks affect us the most, we often go to those who we are attracted to rather than those we know inside out.
Which defines the course of the relationship? Personality, we can all date supermodels and have fun getting praise from friends, but when it comes down to it, you don't want to be growing old with someone who you won't fully like on an emotional level.
In my past I have dated both gorgeous girls and girls with personality... I've even met those who fit both categories for me. Despite seeing flaws in either set you try to convince you are doing the right thing staying by them. But is it the right thing to do? Would you stay with a person you aren't attracted to if your eye would wander? Would you stay with someone who you are attracted to, but feel unfulfilled by and perhaps a little bored? I've tried the best of both worlds.
What do I recommend? Try and find someone who has both looks and personality, or at least abit of both (maybe not the perfect person, but the closest you'll find) Don't settle for someone, because it's the 'right' thing to do. Because it's not right to fool someone into thinking you are 100% ok with it when you aren't.
How often do we actually date anyone we have known for years?
It's more common that people date people they haven't known too long, which more or less means they aren't in it for personality. Personality may define the relationship at a later stage, but the argument has always seemed to circle the beginning. Anyway many people won't date anyone they have known for a certain amount of time as they feel they are already 'friends' and therefore stuck in that zone, A place in which people don't like to venture out of, for fear of losing someone they're close to.
Would we date someone with personality, but who was unattractive to us?
Again something we often say, that yes we would. But again this raises issues, most people want to be in a relationship with someone so they can have a future with, get married to, introduce to their friends, have kids, etc. Would we marry someone we aren't attracted to and may even feel a little embarrassed to be with in public? Would you want kids? Would you even be able to have the relations needed to have kids with the person if you aren't physically attracted to them?
Would we settle for personality when it comes down to it?
Why settle for someone who has personality, but no looks... Also would we settle for someone who has looks, but no personality? Why would we not simply look for someone who fits into both categories for us? Doing either of the first two would always have the sort of thing that bothers you deep down in the back of your mind. The third option is, by common sense, the best one. Sure it is harder to do, but surely worth it?
What does personality have over looks?
Well looks fade eventually, in theory at least... Personally I believe, that beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder. Pretty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty is in the soul. Of course personality is unique to everyone, looks are unique, but common features are something we often associate attraction to... The term is therefore more broad.
What does looks have over personality?
From my own experience of it, I feel that the attracted to a person that I am, the more passion I physically exude onto them. There is alot of electricity, feeling and passion. It also gets general approval, People are often more tolerant of attractive types and someone who looks attractive and well groomed will also look like an interesting person until proved otherwise.
Problem?
Personality? How well do we really know anyone, Alot of people change how they act around different people, If we don't like someone we act differently towards them than those we like, how do they act around people they neither like nor hate? Who knows? Which of the three variations is the persons true self? It's probably the person they are when they are around everyday people, people who aren't friends that they are trying to impress, people who aren't their object of hate, people who aren't targets of attraction to them. This makes it hard to truly define who a person really is. Looks? As I've already said, looks will fade with age. But looks can also be high maintenance. It can also make people vain. Peoples opinion of beauty also varies, so you could still get friends who don't like the person you date.
Which do I think actually affects our original choice? Looks affect us the most, we often go to those who we are attracted to rather than those we know inside out.
Which defines the course of the relationship? Personality, we can all date supermodels and have fun getting praise from friends, but when it comes down to it, you don't want to be growing old with someone who you won't fully like on an emotional level.
In my past I have dated both gorgeous girls and girls with personality... I've even met those who fit both categories for me. Despite seeing flaws in either set you try to convince you are doing the right thing staying by them. But is it the right thing to do? Would you stay with a person you aren't attracted to if your eye would wander? Would you stay with someone who you are attracted to, but feel unfulfilled by and perhaps a little bored? I've tried the best of both worlds.
What do I recommend? Try and find someone who has both looks and personality, or at least abit of both (maybe not the perfect person, but the closest you'll find) Don't settle for someone, because it's the 'right' thing to do. Because it's not right to fool someone into thinking you are 100% ok with it when you aren't.
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