Crushes, and How They Make You Feel Batshit Crazy

[teawrecks]

Feeling attraction towards someone can be fun. You have something to look forward to when you know you're going to see them or be around them.

You have something that is aesthetically pleasing for you to look at, and it can make a situation seem more exciting (work, school, etc.) than it would be under other circumstances.

But then you surpass the "oh they're nice to look at" stage and you trip on a pebble and fall 50ft off of a cliff in the middle of a desert.

Straight into hallucinationary thirstville.

Because now it's more than a crush and you find yourself contemplating the "what-if's" and find yourself unsure if you're delusional and reading a situation wrong or if things are actually happening.

I know for a fact if you're a girl (or actually, just me. I won't generalize all girls here) you're suddenly HYPER aware of exactly what you have to wear, and how you're presenting yourself. You worry that maybe your #RBF may be giving off the wrong impression, but you don't want to be a creep who just walks around with a smile on all the time.

And I think in general, to an extent, everyone overthinks things. Simple, small things that probably don't even register on the other person radar.

Piece of hair out of place? You know, you care - they probably don't.

Shirt slightly askew? Your fingers probably twitch to fix it if you notice when they're talking to you, but you don't want to draw attention so you grin and bare it.

In general, when you have a crush, you may not feel crazy. You might feel normal, sane, unaffected to any type of extreme feelings.

But then post crush you think back to your thought processes and you realize how exhausting they were, and how much more inner stress you may or may not have felt.

Because on top of trying to look good on a daily basis for the sake of existing, you realize just how much harder you tried when you were crushing on someone.

Its a simple fact of life that we humans have an inner need to please and/or impress other humans. But then you add attraction and it get crazy chaotic in those brains of ours.

Tell me about your #crushstruggles in the comments. I'm curious to see if any of this actually is a general feeling for people or if I'm just too intense with my inner feelings.

[Shorty1991]

It really sucks, when you have a crush you can't even think straight. They occupy your mind if not constantly then most of the time. When you see them, you get butterflies in your stomach, tingles and that warm fuzzy feeling. Your brain just turns to mush. Lol. The feeling just takes over. I just manage to control it.

[doineedthis]

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

[Shorty1991]

@doineedthis because the feeling just takes over and you can't control it. Sometimes you font realise how silly it makes you look either. Lmfao

[Shorty1991]

*don't

[doineedthis]

yes Iunderstand you, but do you have a crush on a guy?

[Shorty1991]

@doineedthis not at the moment. But it took me long enough to get over my previous crush.

[doineedthis]

nice , so maybe we should get to know? You look pretty nice

[Shorty1991]

@doineedthis lol, thank you.

[SuperNovaRoyalty]

aww u guys r so cute

[Shorty1991]

@SuperNovaRoyalty was going to follow him but when I got to his profile, he wasn't active anymore. :(

[ConsultantIsBack]

Great take. I think you'll find many, many people have similar experiences :)
I like to just go for it asap and date them or not, rather than building up the stress. At work tho, I don't date coworkers as a personal rule

[teawrecks]

Yeah. I'm struggling with approach cause my crush is a coworker :/

[ConsultantIsBack]

Well good luck!, you can be bold and ask him out for drinks or something, but coworkers are a no go for me personally so I can't be helpful there unfortunately

[teawrecks]

Haha thanks. It's more along the lines of figuring out if he has a girlfriend without making things awkward since he's like my #1 person to talk to from the shop floor

But yeah I'll figure it out eventually. If not his brother is eyeing me too 😂

[ConsultantIsBack]

Next Friday say, doing anything fun with your gf? And when he says idh a girlfriend, u could go one of two ways
-play it off cool, omg I'm sorry I thought you did
-oh, would you like one you sexy mfer you Hahaha😂😂

✌

[teawrecks]

Lmfao Tim pls

[ConsultantIsBack]

But fr, u could do option 1 tho. Added bonus, you'll plant a seed he'll think huh she is probably interested

[Hulkette86]

Such a good read here. I am currently head over heels for my coworker now new assisstant manager & I am literally like 90% sure he likes me too... He says he couldn't give me any advice on how to get this other guy I told em about (just to see what he'd say) & says he & I have both been out of the dating game for too long so we don't know how to act lol. I'm curious as to how to approach this but at the same time we work together so its kind of hard. HOWEVER I am starting school in July so I'm probably going to have to transfer to another store because of the location of my school. So then we could date... If it comes to that. I thought about bringing that up in conversation tomorrow & see how he reacts

[BeautifulMind59]

I just don't think you are taking the right approach. Tell him about another guy, and then tell him you are going away? Guys aren't superhumans you know. You will do the exact opposite. You will drive him away. Because you are COMPLETELY sending the message that you don't want him. That makes him think his chances of getting to date you are slim, and it will discourage him from approaching you.
How about trying something positive?

[FatherJack]

@BeautifulMind59 You are absolutely correct , men do NOT have psychic powers , we definitely NEED them when it comes to you ladies , that's for sure !! This will have the same effect as the " Hard to Get " silly game , men think logically, so we will interpret this as " Not interested , forget her !! "

[Hulkette86]

@BeautifulMind59 wow you are so right! I thought about this the wrong way completely! Thank you for replying, I sent him a friend request on facebook on Tuesday & he still hadn't accepted. But didn't delete it either. But I know one of our mutual friends at work added him & he accepted almost immediately. He & I are both off today so I'm wondering if he just hadn't seen it yet or doesn't want to accept it? He talks about Instagram all the time so maybe he is just on there more? I'm so confused.

Also the reason I did what I did was because I wanted to see his reaction. Guys I've talked to about it have said he did react in that way because he does like me. So I guess I will try it this way but now its going to be awkward on Friday at work if he still hadn't accepted. Should I mention it?

[Hulkette86]

@FatherJack thank you, now I feel ridiculous. We have this goofy thing where we say hieeee or byeeee to each other lol (its reached everyone else now & the other girls wantef him to do it but he wouldn't at first but then he did) On his way out yesterday he stopped to say it because I was around the corner lol. He stopped just to tell me bye. I felt like butter haha. Sigh. So what do I do, straight up tell him? I've mentioned I'm interested in a guy we work with but he said he'd never date a coworker again (didn't ask who it was either) so I'm unsure as how to interpret that

[FatherJack]

@teawrecks I would advise you to be direct , there is no need whatsoever to to feel foolish , women are brainwashed into thinking " hard to get " is the ONLY way to win a man , take it from me , it will backfire in most cases , I think his comment about never dating a coworker was a rejection deflection from his POV , men get rejected by women far more than vice versa , women are in demand , men are generally not as per Batemans Principle , the female is nearly always the chooser , due to her much more demanding reproductive role. You are welcome to PM me for no nonsense male POV advice , I tell it as it is !!

[teawrecks]

@FatherJack bruh you tagged the wrong reason, take it to her inbox directly because I don't care.

[BeautifulMind59]

colleagues

[BeautifulMind59]

You will have to be a bit more cautious, because he is saying that he was hurt before, and by a coworker. He definitely doesn't want his career ruined by the risk of a failed relationship. But you've made progress, because he might feel actually comfortable with you because he shared a very important intimate detail with you. If one of you is the approaching kind and the other likes to be approached, or both are the approaching kind, your relationship will most probably thrive on it's own. But if you both like to be approached, then one of you will probably have to make the sacrifice, in this case you probably. IF so, make sure you won't feel resentful, unwanted, and emotionally unsatisfied if you decide to take this way. But he seems like he would like to open up. So you really need to create an emotionally safe environment for him to do so. But you both sound like mature people. Don't take things to social media yet. He probably doesn't feel safe to make his mistakes that public.

[BeautifulMind59]

If you are transferring, and it's not too far away from him in distance, it might actually be a good thing. He might feel more comfortable to start something with you.
Do something casual but a bit friendly for now. Like cook a little something for 4 people, you two plus two more of your mutually close colleagues, but not more than that. You want to keep it casual but not socially overwhelming. Like a little desert for all of you to eat with your coffee on your last break, or a little snack. It can be all store bought, so just

[BeautifulMind59]

... it just looks like a thoughtful act, and a chance to relax, eat, and chat. (If it's one of his favorites it will be a plus ;-) ). See how things go from there. Or do your own creative thing according to your specific situation.

[Hulkette86]

@BeautifulMind59 That's such a great idea!!! Thanks so much! Oooh now I'm gonna have fun thinking of what to make hehe & I'm all nervous but this is going to be fun :)

[BeautifulMind59]

:-) enjoy!

[kitty71]

im still struggling with a guy I met LAST YEAR in April and even if we went out just one on a date afterwards last year, For me still being a crush even though he does not know I like him. and we no longer see or communicate each other but it is frustrating to still think about him knowing we can't go further when things seem fine with us. I kind of text him once in a while but that is the only contact I have with him.
He is now recovery from a serious traffic accident taht took place in January and he told me about it. For me he was the first guy I ever dated in my life only if it was for one date and even talked about going out one more time but that never happened. I still have hopes we can see again but as acquatainces as I think that is the only thing I can achieve with him nothing more

[RubyRed99]

I'm a sophomore in highschool and I've had multiple crushes throughout the years... I remember one time I was so obsessed with a crush that I would stalk all of his social media and ask tons of questions in his ask fm (which he was creeped out by, i could tell in the way he replied LOL) and I wasn't even smart enough to use the anonymous feature on there or create a fake name... we would also be in the same class and he somehow ended up in my group for a field trip (which was weird because you got to pick your own groups, and he was popular so i would have thought he would be in another group).
Now I have a different crush on somebody who I have something in common with... and I actually have multiple crushes at the same time. i hate hormones...

[Renee201718]

Ugh when I have a crush on a guy EVERYONE knows I can't keep it a secret. I just talk about him nonstop with stupid things like oh I passed him in the hallway today or he laughed at something I said in work yesterday. I'm not very subtle and I usually can't actually talk to him.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I won't lie, even as a confident young lady I have had crushes make my noodle spazz. I've perhaps internet stalked a few a little and found myself thinking of them too often, but I tend to keep it discreet.

[Shehryar]

But you are already in a relationship? :O

[RJGraveyTrain]

@Shehryar Yes, and this didn't happen while I was in a relationship. I had a life before I had a boyfriend you know.

[Shehryar]

Ohh really? :P
Well i was just confirming your relationship status :D!

[RJGraveyTrain]

@Shehryar Yes I have a boyfriend.

[bloodmountain1990]

There have been some girls that have been stuck in my mind, not to the point of obsession, but they're so gorgeous that even if I'm dating someone else, they're still in the back of my mind.

But by the end of the day, I realize that there's so many out there that it's crazy to get hung up on one.

[Azara]

Eh I think by the time I really known I like someone I'd just ask him out. If he's not interested I move on. No point stressing over it. Some people like the exoneration though, I guess.

[MyUsernameRules]

I'm so glad it's been almost 3 years since I've crushed on a girl. Hopefully never again because it's hard to not stop thinking about them. Always on my mind.

[FatherJack]

Remember having very strong crushes on girls as a pre adolescent boy , these faded within a couple of weeks , but never had crushes since , I think I have a strong " don't get attached " self protection mechanism.

[Anonymous]

A girl had a crush on me at work for four years and i started to flirt back someone interduced us at work she acted all shy she didn't even look at my eyes... I texted her and her reply was i dont know anyone with this name and flirted with a guy right in fromt of me that was messed up now i wouod never ever text a girl what i feel

[Opinion Owner]

After i moved on her friend started to like me so i flirted back and then she started to flirt too the girl who rejected me it was too damn late

[MissMillionDollarMan]

I just wanna look at his freaking face all day and I feel super creepy about it.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Hahaha

[Hulkette86]

Same here lol

[HelenaTroy]

Loving that picture... glad I got over that guy lol.

[zagor]

The worst crush I had just messed up my life. I was barely functional for a full year. And I got to hate myself for my obsession.

[Anonymous]

I'm practically in love with a girl who lives 3 hours away who just got out of a long term relationship. I'm too scared to tell her. :(

[HelenaTroy]

You've got to tell her! Go on.. :D

[Opinion Owner]

@HelenaTroy I did. Didn't work out.

[HelenaTroy]

At least you tried bless your little heart.. someone better will come along.

[Anonymous]

I once tried asking out a coworker and I guess I read the signs wrong. So now I won't risk it. I hope you get better results

[Dim_121]

yeah tell me about it.

[legalboxers]

I dont crush anymore. its a bad thing