Hi. We never met. But I couldn't help but notice you. Perhaps it was your pretty face, maybe the strange, but cool looking piece you're wearing. Maybe I just thought your butt looked nice. Whatever the reason I want to show appreciation for the beauty you project to the world.
I know this is strange and awkward, but I have a secret I feel you should know. I'm terrified! I'm afraid of you. I fear you're going to lash me out as a creep, or call your boyfriend to pummel my ass...assuming you have a boyfriend. All the pretty girls seem to have one. I'm afraid I'll say something stupid or do something stupid that will creep you out and embarrass me. I'm afraid you have a level of bigotry towards men. I even fear you'll irrationally will call the cops and claim I'm sexually harassing you when I didn't do anything wrong. No matter how absurd and unwarranted, these fears prevent me from putting my best self out there for you to witness.
I hold myself back. There are a myriad of things I want to express in both body language and verbally. Be it from nerdy things, to sex, to life ambitions. I know you just want small talk but it makes things more uncomfortable for me if I were to just settle for small talk. I don't feel like I can achieve any more than mere acquaintanceship if I just settled for the "How's your day?" tier of dialogue.
And sure. You can reject me. I don't mind. You're just respecting my time, is how I see it, not wasting a second of it for a relationship that wasn't meant to be. You certainly won't be the first one...and at this rate won't be the last...
But realize this. I'm putting trust in you. I trust you that you can embrace my own unique level of awkwardness. I trust in you that I can flirt with you, show sexual interest in ways that are welcoming to you. I trust you're going to be a cool lady, in any other circumstance, I can talk hours and hours with and not get bored. Or...at least trust that you won't turn tail and run away when I say something, making me feel like unwanted trash.
I have sexual desires, I'm not gonna lie. While I eyed you from a distance, however, after approaching you I honestly feel shame that I have these desires. Like it's not healthy to fantasize an intimate moment with someone I find attractive. The shame of 'objectifying' someone. I even get too nervous to even keep those thoughts in mind and thus I struggle to even express interest in you.
To me it makes no sense. Frankly I'd love to be seen as a sexual object from women. I'd love women to cat call me and show interest in my visual and physical self. Us guys don't get that level of attention often, part of what makes us envy you.
Of course. Your physical appeal isn't your only quality worth mentioning. But I don't know anything else about you, besides any clues as to what you're doing or from whatever clothing you might be wearing. If lucky I'd be able to see sparks of your personality show through before I took the time and courage to approach you. Believe me. If us guys can see your personality on the surface then it would be leagues easier, for both of us.
Observing and noting body language and sensing vibes isn't our strong point though. Heck we might even be creeping you out and we wouldn't even know it. And some of us are striving to learn. Striving to learn how to have fun with others, how to pick up vibes, how to put ourselves out there without fear. Only fun, amusement, and authenticity. Yet, those of us who strive to learn this are shamed for it, unjustifiably being called 'players' or 'pick up artists' all because we want to overcome social anxiety.
In the end, I may come off needy. From someone who struggles finding love, sex, and belonging, it's reasonable to be. But here I'm striving to give you something. An authentic person who aims to show you a fun time (and no, it doesn't have to be sexual.) This letter may seem depressing and anything but fun, but if you give us the opportunity, and if you encourage us to do great when we come approach you, then you'll certainly see that self-amused smile on our face. We'll both laugh at our corny jokes, we may even put a hand on each other in what may seem platonic gestures.
And if you're enjoying the disorganized social acrobatics we pull off for you, and you're not busy right now, then let's go talk some more at the coffee shop. Or lets exchange numbers. Well...doesn't have to be your number...could be a fake number...or you can just say you're seeing someone, you're a lesbian, you're asexual...even if any of which is true or not.
We're not entitled to your time or your body. But we are entitled to a level of respect and honor. Don't metaphorically kick us in the manhood by lying to us (and please don't literally do it either.) Honor us. We put up with so much mental strife just to say that first 'hello' to you. The least you can do is be truthful. Humor us.
But what do us guys really want then if it's not sex? How about you just appreciate what we do to walk up to you. You claim you want us guys to approach you, yet as it seems you're not doing anything to show you want us to. The added pressure of you being with your friends dissuade us, making us feel us guys need to cater to all of you. Listening to your music with earphones on makes us feel you don't want to be disturbed. Actually a lot of the time we don't want to approach because we fear of being intrusive. Smile at us, signal us to come over. Heck, you can approach us too. We fucking love it!
If you can do anything for us, at least do this. Say "Thank you" to us right before we part ways and go about the rest of our day. Tell us that you appreciate the courage of approaching you. Let us know that we are valuable. Ensure us that if it's not you, then someone will show interest. It's difficult for the lot of us to find that special someone, especially for the lot of us guys who are introverted, shy, and socially anxious. If we had that extra encouragement, then we will continue approaching you ladies, and we'll be more encouraged to be more fun and energetic when putting our core selves out there for you to witness.
And fine, you can friendzone us, but only if you act as our wing-woman. Ahah....ahh yeah that's your actual number right?
Sincerely,
Another Stranger
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