STORYTIME! :)
I used to be awful at flirting. Like even the thought of going up to a girl and flirting made me tense up. I distinctly remember trying to tell a girl she had a pretty dress on. In the process though, it came out like “HEY! You, ummmm..HAVE a um….....pretty dress…” Essentially, I could not tell this girl that she looked pretty and I didn’t even have a crush on her. In other situations, I would get the words out, but not make any eye contact with the girl. I would shuffle my feet and stare straight at the ground. Tip: It’s difficult to make a connection with someone without looking at them.
So what did I do to get better at flirting? That is what I am going to try to briefly explain. I’ll be honest, I am still not a natural flirter. I still get nervous and I occasionally screw up. Yet, by following these steps, I began to get better at flirting and get a few girls to flirt back with me.
#1: Realize that Flirting is NOT Hard
Ok, this is going to sound a bit stupid, but this point will only make sense when you read every other point. So in some ways it could be the last step. The reason I have it first is that in order to flirt one needs to first realize they can flirt. It doesn’t mean you’ll be good at first, but anyone has the capability to flirt and realizing that obtaining success down the road is a good start.
#2 Have Confidence
When I first began flirting, I was not good. I stumbled. I shuffled my feet. I couldn’t even look a girl in the eye. In order to flirt successfully, one needs confidence. Without this confidence, you will come off as weak and the person you are trying to flirt with will not flirt back. Things will fall flat.
So How do you gain Confidence?
#3 Practice (Compliments, The Internet)
Flirting takes practice. You do not become good at flirting overnight. So, what are some ways to practice?
· Compliments
Well, I’d start with basic compliments. Learn to compliment people without getting nerves. Give compliments to your friends, your family, a random stranger. Compliment them on their clothes, their hair, their appearance. As you become more confident, give more personal compliments on their personality and things that make them unique. These compliments will gain you some of the confidence you need to flirt better.
· The Internet/Social Media
Often it is easier to flirt when one is not speaking directly to a person. As such, you can use a site like GaG or a social media like SnapChat to up the flirting. Tell someone they look sexy or cute. Jokingly make comments about what you’d want to do with them. Now don’t push it. If you are getting a negative vibe from the other person. Stop immediately. However, in using the internet, you can state things that you wouldn’t in person allowing you to practice more risky forms of flirting.
#4 Combine, Practice, and Gain more confidence
Once you have done the things in #3 and you have earned enough confidence. Try combining the two. Compliment someone and begin to use the things you learned on the internet in person. This will likely result in a couple botched attempts at first, but the more you practice the more success you will have. If you still feel uncomfortable flirting with someone in person… then I guess try it on that really flirty extrovert that will likely dismiss your flirting as normal conversation. (I know 2-3 people like that who flirt back and don’t even register your flirting).
So In summary, realize flirting is not hard, gain confidence, practice, gain more confidence and practice some more.
As you continue to practice you will get better at flirting and it will become more naturally. Good Luck!
P.S. I did not mention specific ways to flirt in this MyTake. That being said there are many ways to flirt and each person will have their own unique style. I formed my own naturally through these steps that I noticed over time. I did not look up ways to flirt. But, if you want to look up ways of flirting, there is a bountiful amount on the internet. Hope my article helps. Cheers! – CuteGuy135
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