Girls' Basic Guide to Attracting Guys

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Nobody actually wants to be alone. Every girl wants that special someone. There are hundreds of how-to's out there when it comes dating. The advice varies greatly but there are some common themes.

1. Recognize you are the rule, not the exception.

Every girl wants to be the exception, they give a guy who is completely wrong a second chance. There’s always an excuse but if you accept that you are the rule, not the exception, you’ll move on from the unworthy guys a lot faster.

2. Understand that you CAN NOT change a man.

Your love will not change him. Only he can change himself. There is no such thing as the fix’er up boyfriend. Either you take him “as is” or you walk away.

3. Study the Ladder Theory.

You can deny it all day long, but at the end of the night, the Ladder Theory has a lot of truth to it. Men are friends with women they want to sleep with. And remember, the first point, treat this as a rule. Because, trust me, most guys, if you walk into their room naked, they will have sex with you even if they first need a really strong drink.
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The rest of the theory is debatable but the ladders portion of it exists, it’s not some theory that a drunk and lonely guy came up with some night after he was shot down by the girl of his dreams because she ‘friend-zoned’ him. The guy may not want to date you and he may say he doesn’t find you attractive, but if he’s drunk enough, he’ll have sex with you.

4. Dress Attractively in a Classy Way.

Dress in a way that flatters your body. You can do that in any style you want. There is tons of advice from stylists out there on how to do this. It’s all about balance, as a general rule, if you are showing a lot of skin up top, keep the bottom covered. Wear clothes meant for your body type and in your size. A man is going to care a lot less about how you had to wear size 12 jeans instead of those size 8s that you really wanted to fit in. If it looks good on you, it will make you that much more attractive. The same goes for makeup, apply it properly and don’t go overboard.

5. Figure out what Role You Are.

There is a masculine and feminine partner in each relationship. It has little to do with gender and much more with energy and actions. Think of it as yin and yang, two halves of a whole. Feminine is the receiving, emotional and supporting role, more of a submissive role. Feminine wants to be chased. Masculine is giving, providing and leading role, the more dominant. Masculine chases. This means that while you can hint that you like a guy, if he’s got masculine energy, asking him out is the wrong thing to do. He’ll like and he’ll say yes but he’ll also lose interest faster.

Women in managing careers often struggle with this concept. They come across as more masculine which means they are going to attract feminine men that want them to take the control and make the decisions. So do some research and settle for one role or the other because if you constantly switch, the guy will lose interest.

6. Everyone has Baggage, there’s No Need To Unpack It.

The more emotionally together you are and the happier you are in life, the more attractive you become as a potential partner. Everyone has some sort of past. Ex-boyfriends, former bad habits, and anything else from your past can be rehashed over drinks with your girls, not on your date. Reveal your past on a need-to-know basis. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, so don’t expose them too early!



7. Love Yourself.

Don’t wish you had a different body, if your guy is dating you, he’s happy with it. He obviously liked what he saw that first time or he would have moved on. Plus you can’t expect anyone else to love you if you don’t love yourself. Everyone has flaws and to someone, you are the most beautiful person they have ever seen.

8. Be Happy.

Smile lots, a happy attitude is always more attractive. Guys can smell desperation from a mile away. So be happy in your own life before you go looking to add someone to it.

9. Space and Friends are Vital.

Guys are going to need space at some point. There is no need to get clingy or worry about it. He needs his time with the guys just like you need a girls night. Have a social life that goes outside of your dating life. Some distance is healthy. Vent and rant about life to your girlfriends, not your boyfriend. If he pulls away after a romantic weekend, there is no need to panic, give him time to sort out his thoughts. He won’t forget about you if you really mean something to him.
"Learn what open and approachable body language is and practice it!"

10. Body Language is More Important Than Conversation.

Take a look at how you act. Reading body language is instinctual and unavoidable. Learn what open and approachable body language is and practice it. Use your eyes, smile, keep your arms at your sides, don’t look like it pains you to be there. Show that you are welcoming and want the guy to approach you.

11. Be Yourself.

You can only suppress your personality for so long. You can only hide your opinions until it becomes impossible to do so. So be real and be yourself. Share your likes and dislikes within reason. Similar interests build a stronger relationship. He deserves to know that you really don’t like the Toronto Maple Leafs before he buys VIP tickets because he thinks you like them too.

12. Live in the now, not the future.

The future is unknown, so take it one day at a time. Don’t plan the wedding before he pops the question. The fastest way to get a guy to run for the hills is to plan farther in advance than he is. So if he’s not talking about 6 months down the road, you shouldn’t be either.

13. Sex.

Sleep with him after your conditions have been met. Make them clear once both of you establish that you want to try an exclusive serious relationship (or whatever kind of relationship you want). Tell him in a clear, non-emotional, straight to the point way. If you don’t want sex before marriage, he deserves to know that. Whatever your conditions are, he needs to know them before you are both half-naked in bed.

There, that’s it. A basic guide for girls on becoming more datable. I’m sure there’s tons more advice out there and we can talk all day about it but this should give you a decent start.
Girls' Basic Guide to Attracting Guys
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