Why don't Asian guys ever approach me?

[Anonymous]

So I have a bit of an issue here... While I have dated men from different races, I tend to be more attracted to Asian men than any other race.

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to sound full of myself, but I'm considered to be pretty attractive and am always being hit on by different men. But I never get hit on by the guys I like. Everyone always tells me that I'm so lucky because I can get any guy I want, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Every time I see a guy I'm interested in, I feel like I'm being ignored.

I see Asian guys all the time, and I'm always expecting that I'll be hit on, but it never happens. Why don't Asian guys ever approach me? I'm too shy to be the one to approach men. Especially since I've never had to make the first move, it feels awkward and nerve wrecking to be the one to approach a guy.

I'm just a little confused ad any insight would be greatly appreciated.

[mysterion]

Typically, Asian men tend to fall under the category of 'nice guys'. Meaning they're more shy, reserved, and tend to have less confidence in themselves. This derives from their belief that women outside of their race are not interested in Asian men, which leads me to the hypothesis that you probably aren't Asian yourself. Unfortunately, there isn't much that you could do besides making obvious remarks that you are interested, I do not know why but Asian men just cannot let go of this outrageous belief. But no worries, not ALL Asian men are like that, like myself. I am Korean and I approach women of all race, I personally do not have a preference in a women's skin color, if I find them attractive, that's that. But strange enough, 3 out of the 4 girlfriends that I have had are blondes with blue eyes, weird haha. And the most recent one was actually Vietnamese. Hang in there! Maybe we'll run into each other

[OptimusPrime2017]

I had a girlfriend that wasn't Asian once even though I was very shy at first, I only had a bit of confidence because I was the one that asked her out

[OptimusPrime2017]

I'm a Vietnamese person so in my culture, most of us Asians would be culturally considered as "nice guys" due to that we are more reserved, shy, or in other ways have a lack of confidence in ourselves. I'm that person myself but although that I once dated someone outside my race, particularly black, speaking from personal experience, I tend to doubt myself a lot. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Didn't mean it. But anyways, the chances of any girl or woman approaching me regardless of race or nationality is rare.

[stillagoodgirl]

Well you're a guy so the chances of a girl approaching you is slim already. Add being shy into the mix and it's even hardly because a girl might assume you're not interested

[OptimusPrime2017]

@stillagoodgirl last year, i asked my ex out even if i was very nervous at the time with little confidence, so she said yes. But yeah, you're right. chances of any girl approaching me is at a low, even if i mentioned it already. My confidence rose a little bit when i did the asking out despite the worrying i relentlessly feel. I've doubted myself a lot too. My mom even says that i kinda excel in nearly almost anything but socializing and well, girls, in terms of talking to them, is like a nightmare for me.

[stillagoodgirl]

Well socializing is next on your list to master! You don't have to flirt just treat the girl like a female family member not a total guy friend

[OptimusPrime2017]

@stillagoodgirl I still struggle with that

[OptimusPrime2017]

@stillagoodgirl and I wasn't always shy back then as a kid. Back then I was more outgoing and friendly but later down the line, I've grown more introverted, distant and secretly passive aggressive because around most adults or my nieces or even my potential girlfriend, I rarely lose my temper.

[OptimusPrime2017]

@stillagoodgirl also that over time, I've grown more timid around girls regardless when I have a crush on them or not, I tend to avoid them to avoid potential problems with them for fear of being put in a bad light. I do so just on the basis of my emotional self preservation alone.

[stillagoodgirl]

"fear of being put in a bad light" means you care too much about what people think :/

[stillagoodgirl]

Live ya life without boundaries!

[OptimusPrime2017]

@stillagoodgirl yeah, I tend to struggle with that fear internally every day but I keep quiet about it and avoid people just on the basis of survival alone. Consider that as being in full on survival mode. I'm a caring person also but when angered, I could be considered scary when angry well, because I rarely lose my temper when it comes to a girl I date. I'm chill when around a girl I love, but around other people, I look cranky or irritated.

[OptimusPrime2017]

@stillagoodgirl Still working on the confidence thing. Another thing is that when playing my hobbies: one of then being video games: I feel confident and sometimes I do take some of that confidence

[Anonymous]

They're not gonna hit on you straightforward like other guys. Asian guys will check you out and maybe smile but that's about it. You'll have to to do the initiating.
They seem to love me but I prefer others. I'm not Asian. I don't know what they see in me. I'm shyand skinny but sometimes I can be sassy

[OptimusPrime2017]

I've dated someone outside of my race once that was last year. Speaking from personal experience, I was shy at first because at the time when I first met her, I was well, technically playing footsteps with her and everyone was making fun of me that we were dating but at that time, she had a boyfriend, so I didn't want to interfere, I waited 2 to 3 years later to well, make my move or when she becomes single again, although I was really shy at the time but some of my friends knew that I liked her such as for example, i give her a pack of gum and nobody else because i shyly had a crush on her, so around the end of my sophomore year, I kissed her and she kissed back, she knew I was shy at first.

[Opinion Owner]

@OptimusPrime2017 awww that's cute, glad you made a move!

[OptimusPrime2017]

I had to wait for the right moment for her to be single again despite that my nervousness begins to kick in. One sign at the time that she knew that I liked her 2 years ago was that I give her gum and nobody else and playing footsies with her. Technically flirting.

[Anonymous]

Asian guys usually don't approach women outside of their race.

It's NOT that they don't like us it's just that they don't approach us. If you want an Asian guy to notice you you're going to have to go to him and make the first move typically

[nerdyasianman14]

By your definition of the word Asian, you mean Chinese? :P

If so, then yes, most Chinese men do not date women outside of their race, unfortunately. As as Asian man, I have dated some (I wanted to say many, but that might be too over-exaggerating) women from different race. Most of my ex-gfs are white.

[nerdyasianman14]

As an Asian man*

Not all Asians are Chinese FYI. I am not a filiphino either.. -_-

[Prilee1992]

I'm Asian,
I can tell our culture is more reserved, quiet as compared to western culture.
If I want to say girls approaching guys, 1/10 Asian women approach guy, as compared to probably 4/5 western women approach guy

[Curmudgeon]

I would take out a personal ad online. They will come out of the proverbial woodwork in droves. And given how many of them complain about Asian women going for White men, they might appreciate the converse.

[kambo_trick3y]

...

https://m.memegen.com/fi25vv.jpg

...

[helpman]

Hello there how are u

Hence problem solved I'm indian and I just approached u
Now gimme my MHO :p :p :p
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Just kidding about MHO

[Curmudgeon]

What kind of Asian does she mean? East or South? (What kind of swallow? African or European?"... Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know. )

[helpman]

Hah agree with ya bro

[BertMacklinFBI]

maybe Asian guys just don't like what you're selling in your region, local area.

[stillagoodgirl]

They're probably self sabotaging themselves thinking they're not desirable

[OptimusPrime2017]

I'm kinda that person who does that relentlessly and mentally torturing myself with that belief almost all the time even though I've dated someone who is not my nationality once

[stillagoodgirl]

@OptimusPrime2017 Negative self thinking regardless of race will get you no where

[OptimusPrime2017]

when i once had a girlfriend which was last year, she wasn't Asian, so speaking from personal experience, my confidence rose slightly a little bit because i was the one that asked her out although i was a little shy initially.

[stillagoodgirl]

@OptimusPrime2017 yay!! in my opinion it's definitely a win when a guy makes the move. It must have took a lot of courage since you're shy!

[OptimusPrime2017]

Yeah, thanks. My confidence rose only a little bit because at the same time I risked the feeling of being rejected which I still have that conflict about that internally due to having a lot of doubts about my own decision. To be honest with you, and I'm sorry if I was too blunt but for me, I'm not the type that likes to initiate things but I do so when the situation demands it, for me, I don't have a problem with a girl making the first move but other than that, the only things I do take the initiative on or make the first move on when I do have a girlfriend ( I'm single right now for the time being) are when it involves cuddling, hugging, kissing, etc. I do kinda struggle with initiating conversations and continuing them due to what I want to think of what to say to avoid saying something that will tick the girl off.

[KhrushBrownies]

Perhaps they think they wouldn't have chance with you.

[AlwaysBelieving]

And to the flip side of this, I'm an azn guy that has a preference for races other than azn.

[Jezza]

I don't think that's true.. Im Asian and I've only ever dated redhead/gingers in my life.

[kangy]

Are you referring to Asian Asian?