Is she trying to make me jealous, or is she just stringing me along?

[Anonymous]

Ok, stupid question time.

There's this girl I've known for over a year now, we used to hang out a lot, she liked me, I liked her, but nothing ever really happened between us. I didn't talk to her for like half a year, but like a month ago I got a call from her, inviting me to her new place, just to hang out. So I go there, we watch a horrible zombie flick, get drunk, and just have some fun.

So here's the thing. I don't know what the hell she wants with me. I've been seeing her on and off for a month now., and every time we're alone, we'll cuddle up, she'll randomly rest her head on my shoulder, grab my hand and interlace her fingers, poke fun at me (literally poke.), trying to get a rise out of me, all the usual stuff. Hell, I even ended up sleeping in her tiny bed with her twice (I'm 6'4, she's like 5'6. I'm like some kind of goddamn giant in her bed.) So I figured that's cool, she probably likes me or something, right? But she never really responds seriously to anything I ask her, like when I told her a friend of mine asked me when girl x and me were going to start dating, she just laughed us two dating together off as if it were the silliest thing in the world.

Look, if it were just this, I wouldn't really need any help. She's probably maybe into me, and I should just make a move. Right. Well here's the kicker: she keeps flirting and going out with other guys (just guys. she only has like 2 female friends.) she claims are "just friends" from college, and rubbing it in my face.

What the hell does this girl want? Is she trying to make me jealous, is she just stringing me along while using me as her goddamn pillow, or can't she make up her mind about what she wants with me?

Updates

+1 y

Well, t*ts. So she's either waiting for me to do something, or she doesn't want anything more than what we have now.


Oh well, confrontation time it is then.

Updates

+1 y

So I confronted her with it, turns out she was dating 3 other guys on and off at the same time as I was seeing her. She said she didn't want to commit to anything because she couldn't make up her mind, so I made up my mind and told her to hit the road. :)

[jessikaleigh]

i think it is time that you lay down the law. tell her how you really feel about the sistuation, that you have some questions and let her know that you want to know what the hell it is she is doing? is this some sort of game to her.. is she using you as a cuddle buddy on the nights that she has nobody else or is she actually into you and is not sure how to let you know. Honestly you have to tell her how you really feel about the situation at hand ( we are not mind readers) and if she tells you she isn't sure then let her know that your not going to wait until she figures it out, she most likely isn't sure how to tell you that she likes you... But give her the space she needs to decide what she want's and when she calls you to come over don't drop everything you are doing to spend time with her, becasue chances are she isn't doing that for you. If worst comes to worst and she tells you that she doesn't want a relationship then let her know that her little game of tug of war can't go on. let her know that you like her and enjoy spending time with her. don't beat around the bush..in the end you have to go with your gut. stick around or tell her to take a hike.

[ty-lady]

I don't know about being so quick to kick her in the road, I liked her honesty! That's what you want right, well she gave it to you. It's nothing wrong with her taking her time to make the best decision as to who she wants to date (strictly) if more of us did that then there would be less headache at the end. Why are you so interested in a monogamous relationship anyway, isn't it usually the girl that is pushing for that. I think you should chill but if you kicked her out just like that then maybe you didn't like her as much as you thought you did. You should respect her patience and the time that she spent with you to include you in her conclusion. I think you made the mistake, but it's just my thought as a woman! Much love, best wishes!

[Asker]

Either she's into me or she's not, I ain't gonna have her string me along like some goddamn cuddlemuffin. I don't wanna to be a part of the army of guys she uses to boost her self esteem.

She didn't make up her mind so I did.

[ty-lady]

I respect your decision...dang! lol

[thelittlethings]

It seems like she likes you but doesn't want a commitment. She seems to be happy with the way the situation is right now and doesn't want things to change. If you do, and you'd like something more serious then let her know, and if she wants different things it's probably best to break it off. It seem you both want different things. She's not trying to make you jealous or string you along, she's not playing mind games. If she were she'd be giving you empty promises and leading you on to think she wants more than what you have now. She laughed when you talked about getting serious, it's not like she told you, "Well maybe." That would be stringing you along. Her intentions seem clear to me.

[samazn21]

You should just have sex with her .. I'm not trying to be perverted or asshole.. even though I havn't had sex wtih any of my female friends.

there is this girl I liked she slept in my bed and I asked out a few month ago but she wasn't interested. every time we both at the parties either she hit on other dudes or other dues hit on her and make out with her.. and dudes got her

My point is that most american girls when it comes to sex, it's normal or just sex.. there's nothing wrong with sex as long you don't forces it or take an advantage of them when they're drunk.

I should have made a move on her I guess lol but we're both good friends

You should do the same just start kissing her..

[bennynthejets]

Sounds like she wants something relaible and comfortable if the wild and crazy doesn't work out. I think she just likes the comfort of guys and the feeling of being wanted while never having to commit to anything, because that would signify a relationship, and would ruin her chances with other guys -- who she likely sees as "options", or "grass is greener..."

[xoxosocalqtxoxo]

"like when I told her a friend of mine asked me when girl x and me were going to start dating, she just laughed us two dating together off as if it were the silliest thing in the world." THIS PART tells me everythingggg about this girl! she likes you so much...but has a hard time showing she cares. You need to be the one to make the move and show her you care if you do...and then after that it'll all be history. You have to be the one to say f*** the games..i'm going to be the mature one, and if after 4 monthes of that it doesn't work out let me know ;)

[Asker]

Thanks.

But Jesus H. Christ. I'm giving up on ever trying to understand girls. It's pointless.

[meplusabeemer]

From my experience and based on what you wrote, she is playing the field and keeping her options open. If she was indeed interested in you then her actions/answers would suggest it. (The fact that she laughed at the idea of you two dating was rather low.) She doesn't want to be attached to one guy so she gets whatever she can from one and something else from another.

If you really want to find out then perhaps go ahead and ask her. I will forewarn you that she will probably give you a lame answer or something other than a decisive, direct response.

This is simply my perspective on it but the decision is yours. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

She just wants to be intimate with a guy that she doesn't have to sleep with. I was in a situation like that. He walked me home everyday (this was in high school), I would hug him kiss him on the lips, everytime. I was happy being friends with him. We never had sex but we slept in the same bed, his bed. It was all perfect till he demanded a relationship from me, because he said he can't play this game anymore. I told him that he was just my friend. He said grown adults don't sleep in the same bed cuddle and not actually do anything. So now He is with someone else we still hang out but don't actually hang out like we used too but he is still one of my best friends.

[Snorkledorf]

That's sweet as far as it goes, but it must have been driving him nuts...

[shortie]

Any girl that invites you into her room etc. let alone her bed and has intimate conversations with you and gives ALL the signals of romantic interest but never actually acts upon it/fully allows you to is just being a tease, plain and simple...either that OR she likes you, but is too insecure or shy to make the first move, and is expecting you to do so, so all this flirting could simply be her giving you the oppurtunity to make a move on her first xxxxxxx

[Asker]

Well she is pretty goddamn shy around most people. That's the problem. I don't know if she's too shy to let me know what she wants, or if she doesn't want anything more.

[MORGAN21]

She controls this scene

She has full upper hand and that makes it ok to her to do as she wishes , sorry hun but its obv she gets to play how many guys she wants and the fact that your still there in the end , doin whatever with her , she won't settle with you but continue to use you

She may really like you but , stand up for yourself , tell her how you feel she how she replies either this or start playing her little game to , I'm sure there are other girls out there ,see how she reacts if she doesn't care or shows nothing then move on , if she starts to get jealous then talk to her about the 2 of yal tell her you like her

[jaynasty]

dude don't think about it so much...ask yourself this do you want to date her? do you like her? and are you jealus when she goes out with those guys...if you want her...go get her that's it if your agressive and say cut the bullsh*t I want you and I'm guna get you youl probably sweep her off her feet and this way if she doesn't want you you'll know for sure

[greybackshadow]

Girls are wicked... ahhaahha! If a girl does that to me, I'll be delighted.

2 things.

1) She likes you and is waiting for you to take action.

2) She's a flirt.

Oh well, I can't answer to this, not a girl. HAHAHAH! I've never slept with a girl before. You lucky guy! HAHHAHAHA!

[Zwaken]

Step up to the plate and go after what you want.
Quit letting her direct things. You will get your answers immediately.

[nermalinda]

Yeah, her behavior makes me think she might be trying to be a player or just wants to casually date a lot of guys. I'm glad you're going to ask her about it, and am really curious to see what happens!

[MiserableLonelyPersn]

She clearly wants the d*** only and isn't looking for a relationship,how old are you and why don't you see that?

[mrdeat]

sounds like you told her what she had to hear.if she calls again tell her where to get off say uve got to go and put the phone down.

[enlightenment]

damn boy...good for you.

[meplusabeemer]

Good for you!

[Asker]

Thanks. I actually feel happy, if that makes any kind of sense.

[meplusabeemer]

Because you subsciously know you can do better!