He's mad because I didn't tell the guy to F*** off and that I was passively ignoring him instead. He was seriously mad and he only found out about this because of a program he had installed on my computer to spy on me called WebWatcher. Which is an entire different topic. Anyhow, I didn't think it was a big deal so I didn't bother telling him about it. Like I said It didn't bother me to have someone hit on me. I'm a mother of 3 and I was somewhat flattered / embarrassed to be hit on by a guy that's 23. I tried explaining to him I didn't say anything rude because I was somewhat flattered considering I rarely get hit on anyhow. Like I said it was just an in one ear out the other thing. If I was a guy and this happened to my wife I'd be pretty psyched that she ignored it and was being hit on after having 3 kids maybe I'm a weirdo **shrug**
I think the whole web watcher thing is ridiculous. Heeeeere's your sign he doesn't trust you. That is just crazy to be following what you do online because he's jealous.
Anyways, I don't think "ignoring it" is the proper response. If you were my wife I'd expect you to shoot him down in some way. If you don't he'll probably keep trying and by not doing anything or entertaining the idea you're leading him on. Some guys just can't take a hint unless you make it absolutely clear. A polite "Thank you, but I'm not interested, I am married" would have been a good reply. If the guy keeps trying then you completely block him or be harsh and tell him to f*** off.
I'm with you darlin'. Your hubby needs to calm down. You're a mother of three and still hot enough to be hit on!
With the prevalence of social networking online, such as MySpace, FaceBook, Friendster and older forum related sites for any hobby you can think of... it's almost hard to find a place where you could avoid situations like you're in.
It's not like you were video chatting with the guy or having cyber-sex. The dude hit on you, you ignored it. Done!
I think your husband has a right to be upset about this.
Forgive me if I'm missing something. But there were more options to you than rudely telling the other guy to f--- off, and "passively ignoring" someone who's hitting on you. For example, did you say, "That's very flattering, thank you ... but I have a husband." Because if you *did not* politely turn the other guy down and mention your husband, I think that your husband has *every right* to be upset because you might have appeared to be open to the possibility of cheating, or of leading on the other guy.
Believe it or not, men have feelings and emotions. And when you call your husband "retarded" for expressing his emotions, that does not make you look like a sympathetic, compassionate and understanding wife. Nowhere in this question do you express the smallest bit of empathy or consideration for your husband's feeling. Nor do you seem worried that your husband might have been deeply hurt. You describe one of the main reasons guys don't talk about our feelings with women: we've learned that when we *do* express feelings that she doesn't want to hear, she mocks us and makes it all seem like our fault.
I don't think you're a weirdo. But I do think you're rationalizing this event so that you can twist it around so that you've not done anything wrong and it's all your husband's fault.
I agree with you - you handled it so well! Maybe he's angry that you're online at sites where guys *could* hit on you?
This is none of my business of course but I would suggest doing things to make your hubby feel more secure. It's a pretty big sign that he's not feeling it if he's installed spyware to keep an eye on you. Unfrtunately we usually are on our worst behavior when we need love and attention the most. The good news is his anger is sparked by jealousy which has love behind it. He loves you and doesn't want to lose you!
He installed a program on your computer to spy on you? WTF I'm not even gonna touch that with a 10 foot pole. If you didn't lead the guy on or flirt back your husband needs to calm down. How can he get mad at you for getting hit on? The guy hit on you.