Maybe likes me as more..or still just FWB? I need a guy's opinion!! Thanks.

[Anonymous]

So...about a month ago I started seeing this guy who I've always been pretty attracted to. Before we started seeing each other we did hang out and nothing happened. I then told him I am kinda interested in him. After that we saw each other again and before anything happened he told me he isn't looking for a relationship at all. I said that was fine and that I'm not exactly looking for one either at the moment. Although, I wouldn't mind getting into one with him, I didn't feel like pushing him away and honestly I also just wanted to have some fun.

He usually texts me after the bar every weekend and sometimes during the week (which I've always turned him down on the weekdays since I like my sleep for work). I've seen him maybe a handful of times now and this last time he had to come by my place instead of me going to his, because I've adopted a new pet, which I had to care for. He came by without a problem (for some reason that surprised me). While over, we talked and hung out for a couple hours before anything happened. He started going through his phone and showing me pictures of his family members. Nieces, nephews, cousin and sister who he mentioned he didn't even know was his sister until only recently. ...This all seems a bit much for just booty call conversations. Do you think there's a chance he likes me more and isn't saying anything. I'm trying to break the wall down if need be, and I can't figure out if I'm just throwing myself overboard or what.

Updates

+1 y

Also, I had my ex living with me almost a year ago. While in conversation, he had asked me when that was...I just feel if he is interested in knowing more about me, especially those types of things,...he must like me as more than he's leading on maybe?

Updates

+1 y

I guess I should also put this out there... He did ask me to come over one night..and after I turned him down He said he really would be fine (this is after anything had happened), if nothing happened and we just slept. Turns out he had a bad night.

[Tigerlily]

Guys are weird, they can sleep with a girl and not feel anything for her, they can sleep with a girl and be totally crazy over her and really in love, or they can be at this weird inbetween place where she's pretty good to talk to or hang out with and she's also there and available when he gets horny, meanwhile he doesn't really feel like he wants her to hang around as his girlfriend because he wants something more, in one way or another. They can look out for you as a friend and you interpret it as meaning he cares for you as a boyfriend, because he also sleeps with you. It sucks and it can be hard to tell the difference, but the difference is there, in my opinion. I'd be curious to know how many guys agree with me on this one.

I think the main difference is whether or not he's willing to stop seeing/screwing other girls (and 'it's okay, no other girls hit on me anyway,' does't count.) If he's at the inbetween (ie, FWB) place where he wants something more but is enjoying you in the meantime, he'll keep looking and stay available for that potential girlfriend when she shows up. If he likes you as a girlfriend, he won't feel the need to keep his options open because he feels he's found the best one.

I see where your frustration comes from, I mean he's sending a lot of mixed signals, sometimes implying he really likes/trusts you possibly as a girlfriend and sometimes making you seem like just a booty call. I'd say the only way left is to ask him... but you already have and he says he doesn't want a relationship. So really, you kinda have your answer. Maybe he is still hurting from past relationships, but whatever the case, if he's not over them yet and not willing to be with someone else in that way, you can't make him. If you do want a relationship with him, go see other guys and stop sleeping with him, maybe he'll miss you and see that he has to be with you properly. On the other hand, maybe he won't, but you'll have other options anyway.

Also - you're saying you don't care which way it goes. If that's really the case, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. Nobody should be in a relationship half-heartedly. Or you could be kidding yourself that you don't want something more, which I've certainly done in the past. You say you don't mind what happens but you accept the better option when it comes up and always secretly want it when it doesn't. In which case, be honest with yourself, and then be honest with him, because if you want something more and he's only giving you half, you'll just get hurt and miss out on all kinds of other much better things.

[Asker]

I've already ended things with him. Cause honestly, I want more...a relationship. So, if he does like/miss me, ...maybe he'll call. But I won't be holding my breath as it's already been a good week. Thanks all for your answers.

[Tigerlily]

Yeah it's probably for the best. After all, a relationship is only great if it's a great relationship... you should have someone who knows they want to be in a relationship with you rather than someone who's just messing around.

[Reeses-pieces777]

unless he bloody states out of his mouth you're a girlfriend, that would pretty much clear up the situation. hope things work out for you two

[Subotai]

He loves having sex with you. You are giving him something he really wants and he wants to keep getting it and like most people he feels grateful for the person that makes him feel good and takes care of his needs, or really strong wants, I guess no one absolutely needs sex. The way you would feel about your mom or a friend that helps you. I hope that doesn't sound creepy what I mean by that is we are grateful to those people that make us feel good. It is hard to say whether he wants to commit to a relationship or how compatible you are. Its hard to say if it is real love when he is getting something out of this. I assume you enjoy the sex too? And sex that is enjoyable where two people really attend to each other is bound to create feelings. But keep in mind you only know a small part of each other. You two have mostly seen each other naked yet both of you spend most of your lives with clothes on doing serious things. I guess my question is what do you want. Do you want more of a relationship and you are wondering if he does too. I am thinking that you have a certain power over him. that's not a bad thing necessarily, I think it would be easy to convince him to have a "real relationship" with you but I don't think it is very likely it will work out. I mean he's used to you just being a booty call now he will be expected to do things and act a certain way, you both will, arguements and mixed feelings will suddenly have an effect on the no strings attached sex that was once there and suddenly it will not be what he or you have come to expect. Romantic relationships are complicated,much more complicated than either friendships or sex buddies.

[Asker]

Hey thanks so much for your answer. Ill make it best as soon as I get to a real computer instead of my phone. To bring in more detail, yes I do like him and each time I see him I think I like him more. Because of this, I called things off but later took back. When I called off, he just said ok I understand. When I took it back we got to texting and he told me he's beed in too many bad relationships to want another. I respect his honesty. That night he didn't text me, he called me and came by after dropping his friend off. It was a bit different, but nothing more than sex of course.

[candidlyshy05]

Does he let you know that he's going clubbing in advance, because if he's not then, he just might not be ready for a relationship. Pretty sure he wants to sleep with you, I mean guys love just hanging with girls, but its really the attraction that keep us there. All in my opinion of course, but really with things of this nature, generalizations are okay. It's like girls hanging with guys, would you really just sit and talk to a guy for hours, alone in his apartment, if you weren't the least bit attracted to him, excluding cousins and gays.

In my opinion, without sex, you can't really say your in a relationship. If he has sex with you, and then tells you about his family, then I'm pretty sure its not just sex.

If I were you, I'd tag along with him at a club, and then watch his behavior, and not like a analyst! Just look for subtle hints.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer Candidlyshy. As for sexan we've already had it-a few times. Last night he texted me at 3am as if I wouldn't be sleeping. At this point I think its just for booty and nothing more. We haven't gone out to a bar together and not sure if that would ever happen. He only contacts me after 11pm and later.

[misterrmoe]

Gee, sounds like what I said 40 messages ago. booty call.

[Brunopolis]

This guy wants just sex and you want more. That much is obvious.

If you want just a relationship then drop him. However, by looking at your answers you're clearly happy in your position so the sex must be good enough for you to put up with it.

[Anonymous]

Hes not what your looking for. If a guy tells you he doesn't want a relationship he's being upfront in the beginning so that later on he can play the "i told you so" game after he sleeps with you and leaves you. Why do you think he calls after he's out clubbing? because he strikes out in the clubs and your his back up booty. If you want to have sex and just a casual person to talk to, go for it.



If you think he's going to develop into sometime of boyfriend, your lying to yourself.

[Asker]

I never said he was going to develop into more..you don't have to be So cruel with your words. I'm not lying to myself at all...merely asking opinions. But thanks anyway. And anyway, he texts me way before he's about to leave the club...he plans on seeing me before he even knows if he's going to strike out. Sometimes, it's planned that morning, when I've already missed his call the night before.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol I'm not being cruel, just being up front and honest. You obviously like him a lot if your defending him this much. But speaking from experience, I can be an asshole or a nice guy depending on the situation. If its a girl I really like I will be nice, I want to spend a lot of my free time with her and wouldn't come within 30 miles of a club if I liked her and enjoyed her company. However If I don't think she's more than a piece of meat then ill go clubbing and do my thing and see her when I feel it

[Asker]

Understandable..however, I also understand every guy out there, is much different than each other. And also, men in general, like their guy time. I'm not defending him, I'm simply telling how it is. I'm looking for truth, and at the same time, trying to keep the story accurate. You are assuming he only calls after striking out at a club/bar when that's not the case. So then...what's the deal with asking about when my ex lived with me..or showing me his family pictures? I mean...if its just ass?

[Opinion Owner]

He doesn't have to care about you to ask about your personal life. I use to work in a gas station and knew a lot of things about people I had just met, (kids, wife, sex life problems, ect). Some people are more open about that kind of stuff than others. At the end of the day, this is just my opinion and I really don't know but ask yourself this, when things are going good for him does he want to come visit? or is it only when he's having a bad or something? also, your not saying what you want from him

[Asker]

I'm not saying what I want from him because at this point in my life, I don't care which way it goes. Yes, I do like him as well as his honesty and openness. And yes, he does come around even on his good days. I see him on his good days. The bad day he had, I turned him down cause I wanted sleep more. When he stayed the other night he kept saying he couldn't sleep over (b/c of his contacts), I woke him 5 times, he still slept over anyway. I notice if I don't respond one night, he gets antsy...

[Opinion Owner]

I have no idea what your looking for. From your question it looks like you're looking for conformation that this guy can become something more than a FWB. Your facts are contradicting themselves. How could he not want a relationship yet he calls and gets antsy when he doesn't hear from you? sounds like a concerned boyfriend more than a booty call. On the other hand, he could stop getting antsy after the first time you have sex and get bored and ditch u. who knows, have sex with him and see what happens

[Asker]

What I'm looking for is an opinion on whether it sounds like he likes me as more and is keeping it to himself. We already had sex as you could see in my first post. The "Before&after" we did anything. I just wonder why he says he doesn't want a relationship when he texts askin if I hate him or am done talkin to him, when one night a text of his goes unreturned.

[Opinion Owner]

For me, If I like a girl, ill tell her AFTER I sleep with her because girls tend to lose attraction to a guy who's too nice or too clingy. Also, from my experience, If I sleep with a girl and don't want a relationship it means I don't really see her in my future plans, she's just good fun for now and I don't want to lose her because she's someone to talk to and someone to have sex with. Maybe he texts you because he likes what you have, not necessarily because he see's this going somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Let him tie you up and spank you, then see what happens.