Why do married/taken men always check out other females?

OK it might sound crazy I know it's human nature but why do you guys always have too? I mean if your in love and happy as you say then why must you always lust over another woman? Doesn't it mean your not happy? I just get insecure about it sometimes and I don't mean to but it hurts. Sometimes it just makes me feel I'm not good enough for him!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not always. Granted, I've had VERY limited experience, but I don't recall "checking out" other women when I was in a relationship and pretty happy. I know of a select few guys who have said the same thing, so some of us aren't wired to look.

    There's also checking out, and then there's full blown oggling. Now, if you're a man who's in a happy relationship, you can look at other females, but have class about it, The old "LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH." Then there's being a jerk about it.

    Personally, I'm a single guy, so I can check out any woman (I try not to, though). But honestly, a lot of the time, I'm not thinking about "nice ass..." It's more of "Wow. How can I talk to HER."

    Honestly, we're just curious about some of you. So, I will watch what a woman is doing.

    I have a crush on a certain woman, and she's admittedly gorgeous. A friend of mine and I hang out where she works. One time, she had her back to us, she was cleaning and fixing something. Now, I was watching her, mainly just trying to figure out what she was doing, but also trying to figure out something cool to say or if I could help (score brownie points, eh?). My friend was staring at her butt.

    Here's my explanation. There's one scene in the movie "Some Like it Hot" - In the movie, Jack Lemmon's and Tony Curtis' characters are supposed to be pretending to be women (to avoid the mob). They get a job out of state with a woman's band, so they try to flee with the women's group.

    This is the first time they're in drag (hilarious), and trying to catch a train. They see Marylin Monroe's character run past them, and they're both looking at her. It goes from "look at that" to trying to figure out how they walk without looking ridiculous. "It's like jello on springs! Must be some sort of built in motor or something."

    So it's not always "just the lust" that we look. Sometimes' we're in the habit of trying to figure out what you're doing or how you're doing it, or WHY. Sometimes it can easily be mistaken for lusting, but honestly, it isn't always about that. And I'm being honest, there are some guys out there who don't check out other women when they're in relationships.

    Now, it's your job to figure out if you're being unfair to the guy, or if he's being a little too obvious and crossing into that innappropriate/rude category, the best way to respond from there. I can't tell you that. Good luck.


What Guys Said 10

  • Because they are swine. The rule of thumb is, you are allowed to notice other women, but you are not allowed to be caught noticing them. Obviously this type of man is not very subtle, considerate, or intelligent.

  • Because they have stability and confidence. They are built in. They already have a wife, have confidence based on their relationship, and feel as if they know the "game" we'll enough. This is why you see older men interested or flirting with younger women.

  • There's nothing wrong with appreciating the opposite sex, but you choose to be with the one you love because it's overall more important then just looks

  • you've never looked at another guy?

    i hate how women always rage at guys for looking at other women, even if they don't act on it and do nothing but take a quick look. we all know that you check out guys too, we usually just don't care enough about it to point out every single time you do.


  • It is honestly a reflex! If we could not do it then we really would stop. It's like you glancing at that new purse in the window after we just bought you the one you were begging for.

  • most guys like to see if the grass actually is greener, when you get to know someone deeply you also see there bad points. when you look at someone in the street you only see what they want to see and usually this is good. however just seeing the green grass isn't always worth the trip, every person has their bad points even you I dare say.

    I need to make this clear, this does not mean he is looking for a new girlfriend or anything. have you tried talking to him about this. make it clear that he can window shop without buying, the best compromise I know to be honest


  • that's what I'm trying to figure out too!

  • Maybe you're not...

  • Well it sucks that you feel like crap when it happens. But you answered you own question really, it's human nature, it will happen.

    A person (male or female) can always look at the menu. If you've already gotten your order, you shouldn't place another until the current one is gone.

    It doesn't mean your not happy, just looking, there will always be someone more attractive than another person.


What Girls Said 4

  • I would say that they are just appreciating the beauty of other women... I mean being taken doesn't mean he doesn't recognize other women's beauty besides yours... Some women out there are just so beautiful that you can't pass on taking a look ... I am straight but I can see why guys take a loook... it hurts of course and makes us insecure about our own looks but hopefully the guy won't stare for too long!

  • I'm with you I asked the exact same question about six months ago it's frustrating. But I'll tell you like someone told me, you may also be getting checked out and not even notice. Not to say it's right especially if it's by another taken or married man but the point is just know you look as good as the females your man might be looking at hell maybe even better. Hope this makes you feel better I can understand though.

  • i wouldn't ask the same question, because I be checking out other guys too. NOt because I don't love my man enof or because I don't think his hot enof, I just check out other guys because I know he does the same thing. But that's not a big problem.

  • Well if the other girls are dressed like you are in such a suggestive outfit then guys will look just like I'm sure taken men look at you maybe you should thank about that next time you get dressed

    • Well that's how my man likes me to dress if I wore a normal t shirt he would think I'm crazy he likes the playboy sluty look.