Guys Ask Girls OR Girls Ask Guys?

Is that a bad thing? Ha..My class was debating about it with our guy teacher. He says girls should ask guys cause guys will get scared, nervous, etc. But uh...ain't it supposed to be their job?? Cause if girls do it then the guys will think you are desperate. And it ain't easy for us to ask either. So uh.... who is supposed to ask who? And is it a bad thing if girls ask guys?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not something you can generaliz to all guys and all girls and say "guys should do that asking" or "girls should do the asking". It's all a mater of who is going to be the more dominant partner in a relationship. The person with the more dominant personality will likely be the one to make the first move and ask the other out. Now when I say dominant I don't mean controlling, superior, or any of that crap. It's not about calling all the shots or anything like that. Just in general, a relationship needs one leader and one follower (again those terms have nothing to do with strength or weakness, just generalized personality types). Two people trying to lead will compete for dominance, two people trying to follow will never go anywhere.

    So in summation, the person who does the asking (whether it's guy or girl) is decided by who has the more dominant personali.


What Guys Said 12

  • I've never thought a girl would have to be desperate to ask out a guy. It just means they like him. But it should be the guy who asks the girl out. I know too many guys who have broken up with girlfriends because the girlfriends didn't think they were manly enough. So for ladies, I'd suggest that if you really like a guy but think he's too shy to ask you out, then go up to him and let him know that you like him, and let him ask you out.

    • But what if you both know you like each other (and both of you told the other) but he didn't ask you out yet?

  • To all the women who are saying it is the mans job because the is a 'manly' thing to do and it has traditionally been done by a man:

    Please, feel free to cook, clean the house, and do my cloths for me.

  • No its never a bad thing . it will let a guy know that your interested in him and may make it easyer for him later on.But ya the guy should be the one asking but I'm old and old fashion lol good luck Ray

  • A girl can ask the guy out. It's up to you to decide whether or not to. There is nothing wrong with it.

    Some girls refuse to do it for whatever reason. But they still need to give the guy noticeable hints. The guy wants to minimize his chances of rejection. Remember, it takes two to tango.

    Also, don't mislead the guy. Don't do anything that would give him the wrong impression.

  • I usually don't give answers this simple but I will this time. If you are a male and enjoy woman's company: ask her out. If you are a female and enjoy a man's company just ask him out as well because fate cannot choose your mate for you, you need to take the human being that YOU want to be with rather than listening to society and just accepting who and what you get. I find it strange that we live in a society that permits women and sometimes young girls to chase dozens of men and boys for one night stands, hook-ups, and flings, but when she asks him for a date she is being ''taboo''. Case and point is that sometimes societal taboos have nothing to do with morals and ethics and aren't really ''wrong''

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What Girls Said 10

  • What Techan said over a year ago is so accurate. Usually the one asking is the one who becomes the dominant person in the relationship. if you want to dominate your man and he's OK with that then more power to you. It's not impossible to ask a guy and be able to change roles back to him so he's dominant but it's really hard.

    Women tend to like to control a man when they don't agree with what he's doing. When we ask a guy out, it starts the cycle of control and he tends to not be asserive in the rest of the relationship. Also, I think it can make a girl anxious and a guy lazy in the relationship. That's not cool as guys tend to already be less pulled naturally towards the deeper levels of relationship. He wll have even less motivation to deepen with you.

    i think it is better for a girl to communicate her interest in a guy---clear signs like looking directly at him and smiling, making it easy for him to come over to talk to you, etc. If he's not making a move, I say move on bur you can also just tell him know you like himand would like to dte him if some time has passed or you are in a setting where you won't see him again and leave the ball in his court. be direct and don't put anything heavy into it then move on. If he doesn't ask you out then you don't want ot be with him. Even shy guys can like you enough to go beyond their comfort zone and you'll be thankful he did.

  • That is what the Sadie Hawkins dance is for!

    But I admit after not getting asked out by guys I like, only to see them go out with some pretty blonde girl with a cheerleader body, I finally started asking guys out.

    99% of the time I got shot down. Most guys thought I was weird and were like "did my friends put you up to this?".

  • Any kind of relationship is a 50/50 split. Nothing is anybody's "job". If a guy asks a girl out, that means he likes her a lot. So if a girl likes a guy a lot, she should just ask him out. I've asked guys out before and they liked the fact that I made life that much easier by telling them how I felt, rather than waiting for them. Hope this helps.

  • I want the guy to ask me so I know he's interested. Plus, I wouldn't like any guy that wouldn't approach me.

  • It really bothers me when I guy doesn't have enough confidence to ask a girl out. If you flirt with them and create a comfortable atmosphere between the two of you and he still can't ask you out, that's pretty sad. Plus, if the guy does the asking, you know that he's really interested in you.

    • It may have nothing to do with confidence. For all you know, he could just be missing the signals.

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