Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I'm putting the ball in her court now?

I set up a second date with this girl and she canceled the day before. A couple weeks later I tried setting one up again, but she said she was busy on all three day options I gave her. At that point, I wondered if she was even interested on me or if I'm just wasting my time because I figured she'd make time for me, especially since she canceled the last one. So I told her if you want to hang out when you're free, let me know. In effect, I'm putting the ball in her court now, which is usually not a good thing, but if she's interested I'd figure she'd say something eventually. But I'm not going to waste any more time with her in the meantime. Did I do the right thing?
Updates:
+1 y
I should add that the main reason I'm having doubts with what I said is that I know women like "the chase" and by doing what I did, I'm not chasing anymore.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Find another chick she won't call you, if she was interested in you she would have called you, you did the right thing, I was have said, ok that's it you flaked out on me to many times, I am not playing games with you, it is quite simple I will no longer call you, since your "so busy" all the time, but if you ask me if I want to go on a date with you again, I might consider it or I might happen to be busy that day, and then I would have left it at that and found another chick.

    You may have been chasing her and ya she may have liked it, but she made it to where you would never get another shot with her, see women do that and I don't know why they do this but they do, they will let you chase them and chase them, but they won't ever go on another date with you, they will come up with excuses and hope that eventually you will stop going after her. It is because they either don't want to or can't face you person to person and say they don't like you like that . And you women wonder why you get treated unfairly by guys.

    • Yeah, I don't get it because when I asked her for the date, she didn't respond right away, waited two days, so I thought it was a no, but SHE brought it up again. And then she said she was busy the rest of the week. And I thought, Why the heck did she even bring it up then?

  • Yes you did the right thing. You are also correct, if she was interested she would male the time for you. Like the old saying goes there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't think she is interested in you. You did the right thing by not continuing to pursue her. Some women do the chase, but it's different than outright avoiding a guy. You set up a first date, she canceled. A couple weeks later she was busy on all the 3 options you gave her. If she were interested in you but truthfully busy, she would have said something like "I can't on Wednesday but I can Friday" she would have tried to make a date with you because she would have wanted to see you.

    • If it means anything, after saying she couldn't make it on the final 2 options, she said "I guess I'm not meant to ice skate in front of you and look like a fool." I took that as she means "We're not meant to go out" especially considering she could've offered a different time, like last week. Also, this was for the second date....we already went on a first date a month ago.

    • What confuses me, if you can shed some light on this, is when I asked her for the second date, she didn't respond for two days. Then she contacted me and asked me when I wanted to go so I told her, she said she was busy, then I gave her 2 more options and she said she was busy. Then I thought to myself, why in the heck did she even bring it up then?

    • We met four months ago during school, but she's transferring to another in-state school so the only way to see me again is to meet up and it seems she doesn't even want to do that. And it confuses me because during break, she has had no problem texting with me, as if we were good friends. And if she does just consider me a friend......even friends meet up, don't they?

  • Yes you did. You have done your part by asking her out more than once, and she knows that you are interested and would be happy to go out with her. If he wants to go out with you she will contact you as she already knows your interested. Leave her contact you and if she doesn't don't try contacting her again and just drop her out and find someone worth your time. Hope all goes well for you and gl, hope this helped.

  • Yeah , a girl shouldn't be chasing a guy cause it causes a lot of doubt . Put the ball in her court , but not completely . Talk to her every couple of days , make her feel special , and make sure she enjoys talking to you , and let her know you can't wait to see her again , this way she will really be interested in spending time with you on that second date =) .

    • Yeah, but I've been chasing her and look at all the doubt it's caused. I've been making her feel special and obviously it hasn't really worked. In what ways can I say I can't wait to see her again without making her feel pressured to ask me to do something?

    • And in a week, it'll have been a month since I've last seen her. Isn't too much time going by?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • When I first read this Q I read "I'm putting my balls in her court now?". loll

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