How can you tell if someone is just being polite or if they REALLY want to talk to you?

There is this guy I REALLY like, but i am not good at talking to him cause I get nervous- I feel like a five ear old then I get mad at him cause I like him so much & its making me an idiot.Ha,ha. He tries to talk to me, but I feel like maybe he sees how much I like him & is trying to be nice..... Show More

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  • Haha, I know exactly what you mean. I have been dumbfounded about S.A.L. for a while now. It's interesting to see how someone like myself can utterly stutter about the situation at hand.

    - The only reasonable explanation is that with men and women- we have different expectations.

    Men date fast and look for the outcome as soon as possible.

    Women date slow and want to protect themselves while growing a bond with this person.

    - Basically, men are task-oriented; while women are relationship-oriented.

    The reason he is becoming annoyed with you, is the same as why you are becoming "mad" with him. It's that you are expecting something to happen, so you know where you both stand. I've done that in the past- and quite frankly... It's cute as long as it's not an "extreme".

    [ So, I want to figure if he is... uncomfortable. ]

    - It's that you both are uncomfortable. Take a look at yourself and see how you are reacting:

    "I get mad at him cause I like him so much & its making me an idiot.Ha,ha."

    - You're getting "mad" because you like him. BAM! This is proof of my theory that he is doing the same thing. People always act strange when they expect something from the person they care about.

    Just relax and have fun ^_^ You'll see in time that he is just being himself.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Ok. but I get 'mad' cause he is being impossible to talk to but I don't show it. - I do pay attention to how I act but it is true I can not see how I look , & I will sooner be detached the overly involved - just because if I were on the reverse I would think better of some one who was a little distant rather the too pushy.. Just about respecting yourself & others boundaries & not being presumptuous... bUt still, I make an effort not to look annoyed.. Why would he not mind APPEARING irritated?

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    • Why do you think people say that woman are complicated, or at least why do they say that Woman being complicated, means Men are comprehensible?

      I don't know if it is actually a 'guy' thing, or just a social stereotype, or a culturally imposed reality, but the RESULT is the same.. Men are not systematically comprehensible, easy to understand, or often times,it seems, even 'wiling' to be understood.

      It's not an attack on men really- Life's complicated, people aclimate to complexity. & I -

    • Wonder why woman are considered complicated to a degree far higher then men? & Is it popularilly thought to be an inherent difference, or culturally cultivated?

      My whole situation with Mr. 'Mercurial', is really getting me thinking about communication with people over all.. I am starting to think I met him, not because we are meant to be together, but that I take a serious look at human nature . human influence & the challenge of harmonization. W/ & M/ are 'people' - It should be expected.