I met this guy on the internet but he is still chatting up other girls?

I'm a girl, 27 and met this guy 21 on the internet. were mailing a lot and have also exchanged pics but haven't met so far. he only lives a few hours away but I have a boyfriend and he is just out of a long term relationship (5 months or so). now you might think I'm awful for cheating on my boyfriend but things in our relationship are very uneven (he has hurt me a lot of times but not by cheating) where I have never done anything to hurt him. I think I need in my own mind to even things off a bit before I can start to forgive him. but I don't need any advice on that relationship. so back to this internet guy ... he mails me and tells me that he really likes me and that when we met I would want to stay with him and would I leave my boyfriend for him, and again how much he likes me ... but then I see he is also chatting with lots of other girls from his area that he didn't know before. only girls and only relatively good looking. he tells me that he doesn't chat to them the way he does with me. I have not brought it up with him yet cos I don't want him to think I'm a jealous freak and also I don't have a right to cos I'm the one with the bf. but how serious can he be about meeting me when obviously he still tries it on with other girls although I already told him I would come to see him. do you think he really likes me or he is just after ANY decent looking girl that will hook up with him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's no grounds for him not to talk to them

    You see, just because you both exchanged pictures or talk in any manor online, that doesn't make there any plausible reason for him to stop talking with these other girls.

    It would be common courteousy not to speak with other women in a flirtatious matter but the harsh reality is that, when you are not in a relationship- you are single. When you are single, anything "goes" (is okay) so long as it doesn't infringe upon another person's well being or your own moral.

    Men will always talk with other women. I really hate to say it but I'm the same as this guy you are interested in. I will talk to whoever I want when I'm single, but here's the difference, when I am taken I will do the same thing. The way I feel about this is that if I am a certain way- I shouldn't need to "stop" doing something that is completely harmless.

    - Granted, if it escalates into more than talking it could become a problem, but you still talk to your boyfriend right- obviously ;D

    If and when you decide to date the new guy, just let him know that this bothers you- he may be willing to compromise to work things out, towards a more satisfactory level for both you and himself.

    Best regards,


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      Hey artistbboy thanks for ur answer. you deffo have made me feel better, I was just wondering why he still actively picks up girls if he says he wants to be with me. it probably wouldn't work with him anyways but I just find him sooooo hot and yeah, he can do what he wants, ure right.

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      Oh thanks love, you really are a sweetheart and ure right, I'm emotionally very attached to him, I've spent most of my adult life with him.not so long ago I had a sort of mini nervous breakdown mainly because of his actions and since then my feelings for him have changed enormously.i have left him a few times over the years but he always wooed me back.to be honest, the more I think about it the less I see ourselves staying together but I don't have the strength to end it so maybe I'm looking for an

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      ^^ Agreed 100%.

      Also, look at it in his position. You are several hours away AND have a boyfriend. Why should he put all his energy in you? All of a sudden you could have guilt trips and stop talking to him. Thus if I was in his shoes I like to keep my options open. I don't really do the whole online thing but before I chose my current GF... I was dating 5 women at the time and chose the one that best completed me.