Why doesn't she call me?

Alright so I was dumped... Yes so summary of the story is she and I had a long distance relationship for the most part. I came down to see her and she would come up to see me. Well for a week we were constantly arguing and bickering about stuff over the phone. Afterward she and I said our sorrys and started to patch things up (or so I thought). Well 4mo later she moved back to our home town to finish getting her PHD but had summer break. She gets back and right away she breaks up w/me. Her main reason was because of our argument 4mo prior and that she had been stewing over it.

Well here I am now about 1mo after she broke up w/me. I have text her twice, IM'd her once on yahoo, and messaged her once on myspace all through a span of the month and only one per week. My messages were asking her how she was doing and such (not getting back or anything). We got a little dialog but only 3-4 responses max. She hasn't tried to contact me once. Well I haven't contacted her in the last week and she hasn't contacted me. She switched her myspace to single and took out all of the pictures of us a few days ago.

Should I wait longer, or should I call her (haven't actually spoken since she broke up w/me)? It hasn't been messy and I haven't begged her or anything. I just can't see why she is ignoring me. Should I tell her how I feel? That I can't stop thinking about her, dreaming about her?

She is constantly busy and she has an STD (she is responsible though and didn't get it from me so there is a really good chance it's not another guy) so it makes it harder for her to go out and do stuff. I really want to just let her know how I feel. What would you girls say about this in her situation? We were going out for 3 years and then she just doesn't want to talk to me. Is this something where I should just leave it be? or make a move and call her?

I know what most of you might say and that is to just let her go but it's hard to believe that all of a sudden she just stops talking to me. I'm soo confused!!! Pleas offer me some indepth answers too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • its pretty sad, my advise is that you keep that special place for her and try or pretend to move on. trust me I have been thruogh this my self and I followed exactly what my instincts told me; turning urguments into fun, like when she quarels over my "lousy" sms I lough and pretend not to care, not contacting her until she contacts me after a good calm chat with her, including not picking her calls, when she tries to reach you. the logic here is she should miss you not the other way round. one other thing men alway forget is involving in as many relation ships as possible and having only one intimate one with the one you really love. if you get company from other women like for a chat, believe me you will come to know that she is not any special, much as she is the one you love. she pisses you off , call some other female and have a nice chat, and get your thoughts to her later, don't forget that there is in most cases a male behind all their actions. I once swaped my girl's number with out her knowlegde and I activated it, I was suprised by the calls I got but knowing how much valued her I never complained. she shouted but I never gave a damn about it all. all I did was to warn the guys that were trying to steal her away form me and made a few threats here and there to which she reacted saying they were her friends, but I am not that dumb offcourse. there were limited options for her explanation.

    also find out about her weaknesses, and exploit that. for example what does she do that does not fit her. lol that's a good one. ialway be ahead with lots of suprises. tell her some white lies. lies that will not backfire, you copy? a lie that you will cover up with a good explanation and it will not surface. for example if she is ambitious tell her something that would bring her close to her needs much as it will not be real, for example promissing huge amounts of money if that's what she needs. and get round and break it. I promissed my girl a job , avery good one that she called me 24/7. but then I came up with another good lie to rest the first. this world is real dude, wake up if you need her. do not let her wake up first.!



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What Girls Said 1

  • There is nothing to be confused about. You did your part by trying to contact her. It's not going to do any good by trying to contact her again when she clearly doesn't want to talk to you. She may just be trying to get over you. If she missed you, she would have at least messaged you back. It takes two to make a relationship. It's not going to go anywhere if she's not even willing to talk to you. I think best thing for both is to let her take that time off from you. Let her contact you when she's ready. Things can be fixed and tried again when you both are ready and willng to. It's going to be hard to ler her go, but you'll be okay in time. Keep yourself busy so that you won't think about her as much. Every time you feel depressed, shake it off and get out. Have fun, meet new people, take a road trip. Enjoy your single life. It's a great thing. :)


What Guys Said 3

  • If you do try to contact her again, do it one time and make it count. Tell her your thoughts on everything that happened, (good times and bad times). Include things you didn't handle well - and most important, what you would do different if you had another chance. Let her know that you can't take not hearing from her. Then if she doesn't get in touch after that, she's made up her mind. Put the past out of your head and move on.

  • Whoa, this is one mess

    Although this is a typical scenario you would be surprised. I would get over it. Things always boil down to someone wanting and someone not wanting, whether its getting back to simply just talking.

    From the looks of it she doesn't even want to correspond in any fashion. Repect it and move on !

    And besides, look at the situation, get back, break up, get back, (break up again ?) life should be a crazy roller coaster ride !

  • Well gangsta, I'm chilling in your canoe too. I had a long distance thing with my ex, not too far, and that is what built our relationship. She came to see me, I came to see her. We fell in love. Recently she broke it off, (once I moved back to our hometown) and I hate her and love her. But this is what I think. If you feel like you want to marry the girl, and she is too amazing to be just a memory, do what the hell it takes to get her back. Don't think later down the road, "what if". Be seen by her, better if you're with another girl. Get her jealous. If you don't love her, then move on, but if you can't get over it, do all you can, and if you fail, you tried. My ex broke it off the worse way possible, and I could be banging skanks every night, but you know what, I'm going to try and get her back. If she doesn't feel it, then whatever, I tried!