What makes a man commit to one woman and not another?

What makes a man commit to one woman and not another? Just out of curiosity. Is it looks, personality, chemistry? Are there certain habits that a girl may have that would make her not datable? Like heavy drinking? A combination of things? I'm asking because this guy who was a friend of a friend always said he found me really attractive, he would always make passes at me, and I flirted with him quite a bit. Yet he never asked me out on a date. We hung out a lot in groups but other than that he'd never call me, never ask me out, nadda. Then I finally stop showing up and he gets a girlfriend a month later. This ALWAYS happens to me too! Every guy I date, none of them ever want to be committed to me and when I finally say enough they run out and get into a really serious relationship with someone else. What's wrong with me?!

To the responses about drinking.. do you drink or are you against drinking in general? Do men who drink still get turned off by women who drink? Thank you for the responses!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, I would not date a heavy drinker. I probably wouldn't date a moderate drinker, either, so mine would have to keep any drinking at a minimum.

    As for what makes a man commit, the answer is both parties. A guy isn't going to commit to anyone until he decides he's ready to. However, he isn't going to commit to just anyone.

    As for drinking, there's several reasons why I don't like it. For one, it kills brain cells, and I only like intelligent women. For two, drinking makes you far more likely to do stupid sh*t, like hook up with a guy at a club and get his STDs. Also, going out and hooking up with guys means that YOU are not committing to ME, so there is no reason why I should do so for you. For three, it's unhealthy and expensive, and I don't plan to set aside half of my salary to pay for your booze and hospital bills from alcohol poisoning.

    When guys don't feel like getting committed, they're more likely to go for the fun, easy, hot girls just for excitement and easy sex. Once a guy is ready to settle down, he's likely to start looking for the girls who are down to earth, rational, and nice.

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      What do you mean by rational? Less emotional?

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      Yeah, basically. I had a friend who was terrible about that- she actually got into a fight big enough to break up with a guy because he was 10 minutes late to her house, and things like that were a common occurrence with her. Every time I talked to her, it was like treading on a minefield- do one thing wrong, and she just explodes. Dating someone like that would be a living hell.