Why do I think girls don't like sex?

[ThunderGod]

I sometimes hate girls. I see rejection in the face of every girl I see because I've been rejected so many times. I'm conditioned to think they don't like sex.

if you read my profile and see the other questions I've asked and responded to, you see a normal decent good-looking successful dude. I'm socially active, friendly, intelligent, and talented. I've been molded by society and the girls in my life to really feel bad about this whole issue.

Sure you may say "chin-up' or 'there's one special girl for you', but BS!

Girls have taught me my whole life that things are more important than sex (starting with my Mom. Thanks Mom).

I'm sorry I'm a horny guy and my unrequited passions leave my cynical. I wish I wasn't so horny so I wouldn't feel so bad.

Reading about all the so-called horny chicks on this site is like a book of fiction. I really don't believe any of you exist. I see happy couples and think the girl refuses sex every night.

I met one girl in my life who admitted to actually liking sex. I saw her at my sister's wedding a few years ago. She said she's as horny as ever and it broke my heart that I never met another girl like her.

Why is it so hard to meet girls that like sex? They all play hard to get and make it this big deal like it's a special favor to me. I want to give up but my hormones keep my blood boiling. If I was a girl I'd be getting laid a lot. Why is it so hard to meet a girl who likes sex when they're supposed to want it as much as guys?

Maybe I should see a therapist or something. I'm running out of rope to hold on to. I see rejection in the face of every girl I see.

How many other guys feel the way I do?

Girls: can you understand how I feel? Have you met a guy before and downplayed your sexual needs?

[irish-girl-08]

the first time I done anything sexual with a fella it was shit and I thought ok what is the point of that I didn't get anything out of it so I assumed girls don't get pleasure from stuff only fellas but then I met fellas who did it em how would you put it good real good and ever since then I'm so horny and love sex and I wouldn't play hard to get that's playing games and I don't like games if you want sex don't delay it in my opinion so if I want sex and the guy does well then were getting some lol I would be very worried if I didn't want sex the day I don't won't sex well I think a trip to the hospital would be in need lol sex is good girls do love sex just as much as fellas you just go for the girls who want a relationship and obviously that is going to slow things a bit

[ThunderGod]

Thanks for replying = ) Your first sentence makes sense to me. I know I'm really good at sex (have the right equipment, attitude, energy, passion, etc.) so intensity is not my issue. I've been "trained" and "conditioned" by the women in my life that sex is second place to everything else. I don't make too big a deal of sex when I first meet a girl because I know that may scare some of them off...try and have fun and get to know each other.

Your words come from a fantasy world to me. I like it.

[irish-girl-08]

I honestly think you need to realize most girls love sex my best friend loves it more than any fella I know no exaggerating!second place to everything? ok well there are more important things than sex such as getting your education etc..but it doesn't mean we don't love sex it isn't girls fault you don't believe they don't love sex and maybe if you stop questioning it they will have time to prove they do!sexual pleasure is not just a mans pleasure if we really didn't like we wouldn't do it!

[ThunderGod]

I'm done with my education...I have a masters in architecture, am self-employed and have money and time for anything I want. I'm in the middle of my sexual peak and feel like the train is leaving me at the station while I watch all the horny girls smiling through the windows waving bye-bye to me as they take off into the sexual sunset. I'm standing on my feet but feel like I'm cut off at the knees. There's a rope tied to my heart and the train is yanking it out of my chest as it slowly pulls away

[irish-girl-08]

Maybe your just not the type of guy girls who just want sex are looking for

[ThunderGod]

Yeah. I give up

[iamranga]

That was really poetic

[ALWAYSclassy]

Girls like sex in real life trust me! Honestly, I think it's less problem with the girls and more like something you're doing wrong. The common denominator is you.

"They all play hard to get and make it this big deal like it's a special favor to me."

-This attitude right there probably comes off to women and repels them. Sex is a big deal and it's not like anyone owes it to you.

My advice is see what successful guys you know who are getting laid are doing, and copy them. Or maybe you don't project the air of a sexy guy (this doesn't necessarily mean you're unattractive) so you don't find a lot of hook ups.

[ThunderGod]

I'm really getting some good advice here, thanks. I am encouraged by all the girls who actually admit to liking sex. I get your point about my attitude and you're right, I may be meeting my expectations by subconsciously sabotaging relationships. I remember reading in Dear Abbey once about a woman who "put up with sex for the sake of the marriage" and she really hated it. I also read somewhere else that 30% of all women don't like sex at all, 30% do, and 40% fall in the middle somewhere...

[diegoD]

what you mean special favor? it suck that they ALL play hard to get, how do you play hard to get to succeed?

[acubed25]

Its the social stereotype. If a girl has a high libido and gets laid a lot she's a whore. If a guy does he's just normal. What girl wants to be labeled a slut, whore, etc. Personally I do have a high sex drive. I think about it constantly and need it on a regular basis or I get quite cranky. But I tend to down play it simply because I got tired of being judged. Even in relationships if I asked for it too often I'd get looked at sideways. Weird huh? So I get where your coming from and I may not be in the same boat but I'm sailing the same sea.

[naomib]

dude all girls love sex,but the thing is guys are hornier than girls just turn a girl on and they will have sex with you some girls ar really horny (including me) but I'm sure your a hot guy just turn a girl on and just wait a few days when you date somebody if you want to have sex on the first date girls feel pressured´.so yeah email me sometimes you sound like an awesome guy my email is [e-mail],my phone number is 9168215809.txt me sometime.

[justthefriend]

um I really like sex. I'm up for it all the time. my ex didn't ever really want to do it but he did it for me. I'm sorry you feel that way about girls but they don't want to think something is just about sex they wanna b in a relationship

[ThunderGod]

I have friends with girlfriends like you. They don't talk about their specific sex lives (I don't want to know), but I know they're happy and I'm genuinely glad for them. I want a relationship before sex. I have never had a 'hook-up' and don't want one. In my relationships the girls like sex for a while then I learn they're sex drive is 'average' (2-3 times a week). That's just not enough for me. PS, I love oral, foreplay, flirting and teasing. I'll do anything (well, not anal).

[justthefriend]

Well if you want sex often sometimes a hook up is good for that.. um I'm like u. I'll try anything as long as its not anal

[ThunderGod]

Quite honestly, I can't do a hook-up even IF I found a girl who wanted to (though that's NEVER happened). I'm just too afraid of std's an I hate condoms...I'll wait for a relationship instead.

[justthefriend]

Condoms are a good thing even when ur in a relationship.. but I get ya hook ups don't always work out

[Nutz76]

Wow, I was so much like you once upon a time. Then I read The Game by Neil Strauss and started learning about female psychology and my world flipped upside down. It was like seeing the matrix for the first time. I strongly suggest you give that a read and then reevaluate your position. Like one of the others has already said, the common denominator is YOU.

To be perfectly honest, it sounds to me like you stop as soon as you get shit tested and think the women are serious. Don't. Whenever women challenge you it's to see if you're strong minded and alpha enough to plow forward.

[tex151]

Wow dude you hitting on nuns or what geeze. Every girl I have been with and yes there's been quite a few all liked having sex. You must be going at this all wrong or something. Are you walking up to girls and flat out asking them if they want to have sex or what? It's pretty easy to get them in bed, for example I met girl at a concert made out with her, then the next weekend got her in bed its not that hard to do. Explain to me your approach and why you get rejected, and maybe I can help you.

[ThunderGod]

I go out with friends to bars and clubs and stuff. I don't get drunk or do drugs. A lot of guys are really forward and that's not my style. I have friends who are girls but they're just friends. My sister is a riot. We go out and she's the life of the party. I'm getting out in the real world making an honest effort. I see a girl I like and make fun flirty conversation. It just never goes anywhere. This is getting old really fast. I'm in several "meet-up" groups and have dozens of friends.

[irish-girl-08]

Maybe you should be more straight forward then

[ThunderGod]

My friends try to hook me up. I don't toot my own horn very much. What would you say to be "straight forward" if you were me?

[tex151]

Club girl and bar girls are kind of hard to pick up because they think all guys there just want to sleep with them, which is the truth so they have their guard up, man you just gotta be more interesting come up with new stuff or something. You don't have to drink to have fun when I go out to pick up girls most of the time I am sober.

[ThunderGod]

I totally agree about the clubs scene thing. But if girls likes sex, wouldn't they WANT to flirt with a bunch of guys? Isn't that the point of going out? So where do you go to meet chicks and what is your tag line?

[tex151]

Where do I meet chicks everywhere, park, the bookstore, concerts, clubs, class, friends. And to answer the question ok here's what they think they like sex like we do but they don't want to be called a slut plus there insecure. But once you get past there bitch barrier its a walk in the park to get them as long as you don't act all creepy.

[ThunderGod]

Do you have an approach angle (are you typically funny, sincere, joking, nonchalant or something else?) Do you have a "give-a-shit" attitude and not act nervous? How do you handle rejection? I take it way too personally....

[tex151]

It depends on the girl if she's a bitch I give her the I am an asshole attitude, if she's sweet turn on the charm man. I've had girls call me smooth, suave a guy who knows what he's doing. And for the rejection who cares if you get rejected its just like if you catch a fish and it gets away who cares you gonna go home and cry or you going to throw out some more bait and catch another fish?

[ThunderGod]

My bait is my heart. I should change bait. I get it.

[tex151]

Your not going to win them all trust its impossible I don't care who you are, if you go in there all emotional and nice and crap like damn man there going to chew you up. Don't be afraid of rejection one team always has to lose that's why we call dating a game.

[AJtogo]

Guy, you may not believe me but your rant comes across with a lot of attitude and some definite wrong beliefs about the opposite sex.

If you really believe what you're saying then you're probably carrying an attitude around with you that's quite apparent to others and not to yourself. Hence, you're sabotaging yourself and making your beliefs come true. If you believe that you're going to be rejected then you will be.

Change your attitude and the sex will come.

[ThunderGod]

I can understand why people would say that. I really do have an approachable attitude and am quite friendly. A bit shy, but definitely well balanced and friendly. I don't think I give away my feelings when I meet people and rarely (never) talk about sex to girls or let them know how I feel.

Seriously, I'm just reacting to the world and how I've been conditioned.

I want to believe girls like sex. That's why I like this site - though it's like a video game where it's all make-believe.

[AJtogo]

I'm not putting down what you're saying, but I don't think that your self-appraisal is matching what others are seeing. As for the conditioning, even Pavlov's salivating dog was unconditioned.

You say that you want sex, are dying to have sex, but won't talk to girls about sex. Do you see where your actions (or inaction) is not compatible with what you want? Girls don't mindread, So if you're not sending the right message then they're not going get it..and neither are you.