Girls, Do you actually like being approached in Coffee Shops etc. ?

Question

I've beent rying to find places where i can meet girls that i like a lot of people keep saying a coffee shop, although i don't drink coffee a lot of places do other drinks.

My question is ladies if you were jsut sat there alone would you actually mind if a guy came to you and striked up a conversation and maybe ask for your number / give thiers to you?

If yes some tips would be nice don't wanna come of as a creepy wierdo

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

yeah that can totally come across as creepy. It depends on what she's doing. If she's reading or doing work while drinking coffee then you interrupting her will be annoying.

I'm not sure why people told you a coffee shop is a good way to meet people cause it's really not - either people are quickly trying to grab coffee before school/work and don't have time to stop and chat, or they're sitting working on something and don't want to be interrupted, or they're talking with friends.
I think the best way to meet people is through doing an activity. Like, if you like books then join a book club at your local library. Like to work out then take some group classes at the gym. Like to act/sing then go audition for a community theater. When you do an activity, then you'll meet people with similar interests because they also are doing that activity, so that makes it easier to talk to them, and if you are seeing them often (like once a month for book club) then you don't need to creepily walk up to a stranger, you can wait til you know them a little better and then approach in a dating sense.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah I'd be open to it, for sure. My tip would be to not force the conversation, if she isn't into it, or you two don't vibe, the conversation is just not going to happen. And if she doesn't want to give you her number or doesn't seem very friendly: don't take it personally. She could be nervous, dating or seeing someone, gay, not dating currently, uncomfortable with strangers, you two don't vibe, she doesn't like you, she's not good at carrying conversations with strangers, she's an awkward person, she's a shy person, she didn't hear what you said and is confused, she's busy working on something, etc. There are a million reasons. Don't take it personally, give yourself a pat on the back for being brave enough to try, and carry on.

I personally would love if a guy did that. I'm in the place in my life where I'm looking to meet new people and feel confident and open to talking casually to strangers. The girl you strike up conversation with might not be in that place, but it's worth a try. Life is too short, don't close doors of opportunities for yourself.

Calwri · Answer

Some girls might not mind being approached by strangers in a coffee shop or other public places. However, to me, it would come across as hella creepy, and my suspicion radar would zero in on you. There's a story to every person's life, and unfortunately mine includes almost getting kidnapped. So, understandably, I am always on high alert, and my survival instincts kick in when a stranger approaches me out of nowhere. I'm polite, of course, but watchful and untrusting. Pretty much sucks that I'm like this, but it depends on the girl's life story how she'll behave in reaction to you approaching her to strike up a convo and hoping to get a number and a date. Personally, I think bars and parties are the best meet-up places. Coffee shops, to me, look more like sit, relax, drink coffee, study, read, etc. places.

LaVilaine · Answer

Personally, no.

Pay attention to body language. If a woman is clearly focused on something else (phone, computer, book, etc.), she is not open to being approached. Move on. A woman with both headphones in is also not open to being approached.

A woman who is looking around or otherwise unfocused might be open to having a conversation. Ask if you can sit down and introduce yourself. "Hi, my name is Tomsta, I think you're cute. Do you mind if I sit and talk to you for a few minutes?" would be straightforward and non-threatening. If she says no, obviously don't sit down. Wait until she says yes to sit. If she says she's waiting for someone, that's a no.

Don't give anyone your number if they give you some variant of a no. That's coming on too strong.

Sara413 · Answer

Depends who and how... if a guy is respectful of my space and social cues, then depending on if I'm attracted to him or not I will be either indifferent or interested. If indifferent, I'll just politely say I'm not interested and pull out my phone or book to give him his cue to walk away.

As long as you are respectful, most women won't be upset by it. But part of being respectful is noting and respecting social cues... be cautious not to be demanding of her space or attention... don't force your way into her space. If she's reading and you as how she likes the book, if she doesn't seem genuinely happy to chat with you, accept her one word response and walk away.

Tanya77 · Answer

I wouldn't mind.
Almost always depends on attraction though, if she doesn't think you're cute she probably won't want to engage much. But that doesn't mean that you can't charm your way through haha. I guess if your personalities click then it should work out.
I would come up to her and smiley sweetly, ask if it's okay to sit by her if she's not to busy. If she agrees sit down and ask her how her days going, what's she's doing at the coffee shop. Then the usual hobbies, dreams, past stories etc.

xLyndseeyx · Answer

If I was not talking to anybody, I would actually love to be approached to a coffee shop! In my honest opinion, I think a coffee shop is peaceful because I like the smell of coffee. Again, that's just me.. If I were to sit alone, it'd be nice for a guy to come up to me and just talk to me. If I find him really interesting, I'll ask what they do for a living.. Then I would exchange numbers towards the end of our conversation..

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

If I was single, sure, I wouldn't mind being approached at a coffee shop. If you see a girl you're interested in, just go for it. You don't really have anything to lose, the worst that could happen is she'll say no. Just tell her you noticed her and that you would like to get to know her more and ask her number. :)

mooky06 · Answer

If the guy likes coffee and he was there grabbing a coffee too it wouldn't bother me if he started a conversation. If I was interested I'd show interest or politely tell him I'm not.

Just a "Hey have you had a nice morning today? You have a busy day ahead of you?" Things like that I guess

Paris13 · Answer

If I was Minding my own Business and Enjoying my Joe, I would Not Care... To be Bothered. However, I try to be Polite.
Of course, Everyone is Different, no Girl is Alike with every John or Mike.
Perhaps if you "Approached" someone with Asking for the Time or Something of this nature that didn't Seem like Some "Pick up Line," Something could get Cooking, especially if you Were... Good Looking or just even Had a Spark to Start.
Good luck. xx

Snmetri · Answer

sure if i was sitting alone i'd actually love the company. As long as you respectable and nice i don't think most people would mind it. Just go for it don't over think it. Wherever you are it doesn't even have to be a coffee shop. If you see a girl you like just go up to her and start conversation. tell her you thought she was pretty and would like to get to know her

Anonymous · Answer

I think if it happened to me I would be ok with it, it used to happen a lot to people years ago I don't think that many people do it so often anymore just be your self have confidence and do not be afraid of attractive women even if you think your not im sure your a good looking guy yourself, just asking a women how her day is can make her happy you probably would then be able to spot a seat near her If asking nicely.

Girls, Do you actually like being approached in Coffee Shops etc. ?

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