Why do guys automatically assume pretty, attractive girls are taken?

[Anonymous]

It sucks.

Guys never approach me because they think I already have a boyfriend and I don't.

I know I'm pretty too, I'm not being stuck-up about it. People like my friends and family always tell me, and random strangers constantly where I work..

I seem approachable and friendly too. I go out with friends and myself, I smile and give eye contact and no one approaches me. All I ever get is elevator eyes.

Updates

+1 y

I've never approached a guy before and never even entertained the notion until right now.


I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do, say, etc. I've never been rejected because I never asked a guy out first.

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+1 y

I really liked all of your answers, thanks very much! I might just have to go out and get me a boy.

[sa230e]

It's a natural assumption guys make. The logic goes something like this:

"She's very hot"

"Hot girls get attention from guys without even trying"

"Therefore the moment she becomes single some ambitious guy will swoop in and pick her up"

"Therefore she must have a bf."

It's also a kind of rationalization for not being able to get up the nerve to approach. We use it to justify shyness even to ourselves sometimes. If you want some suggestions:

-Go out alone. Guys find it harder to approach if your chatting with friends. They create a distraction for us when we want some one on one time to talk with you.

-If you give him the eye contact and the smile and he doesn't go for it give him a "come hither" hand motion. It takes the pressure off because he knows you want him to approach but you don't have to do it. Give him any kind of signal that says "hey you! Come here!".

-Try approaching a guy, I think you'll be surprised. You can stutter, talk gibberish and stumble all over the place and he won't care. When a hot girl approaches us you'll make our day...hell even our month!

-"Accidentally" bump into a guy. "Oops.. Hi I'm ____________"

-Get a T-Shirt made that says "I need a boyfriend. Could it be you?"

Basically as a hot girl you have the luxury of trying any method and having a 99% chance of it working. Just start trying out whatever comes off the top of your head. Have fun. Just think of the craziest things imaginable and go with it! Entertain yourself with it and see what happens.

[dreamtime]

I love this answer, its solid and very true.

If anything guys would be intimidated with you so talking a bit gibberish or stumble all over the place and the like would actually come across as cute and would make yourself less intimidating, show them your dorky/geeky side as we all have a side like that or at the very least have had it.

[izzybolden]

@dreamtime to me it's not only cute but a turn on as well O. o

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

To be fair women do that a lot too. Ever heard the expression "Any good guy is married or gay"?

Anyway...

Thing that most women forget is that most guys are just as fucked up as any girl. Like they cornered the market on low self esteem. We get self conscious and low, and sometimes when we see a girl who's very looks blow us away we have things rolling around in the back of our minds, and we convince ourselves that we don't have a chance.

We'd see a beautiful woman and we'd think that she's taken sometimes, because we think any girl that awesome is probably snatched up by somebody. Sometimes we'd think that she's out of our leagues, or that she'd be too high maintenance, or that she's probably just a flirt or a tease, like we think that she wouldn't really be interested in a guy like us or whatever. Sometimes this sinks into guys getting worse off and assuming that if the girl is single she's probably a bitch or crazy.

It's all neurotic but hey, some guys can get that way.

Here's my solution. I think you should try to be gutsy, and try to move in and hit on these guys by yourself. If somebody lacks the initiative, take it yourself. Make your moves. Approach the guy. I mean what do you got to lose, right? If he says no, then it's no worse off, he wasn't talking to you anyway. Give it a shot.

Anyway I hope all this was enlightening.

[toulouse]

Just go approach a guy :-)...

I can't imagine living in a world where I rely on anyone else is who is quite possible messed up to approach me- Nope, I'll pick from the beginning thank you *

^ ^

[pineappleshortcare]

If you're young, most guys are looking for a hit and run and don't want to put the time in involved for "girlfriend material"

[rocksongwriter]

"Guys never approach me because they think I already have a boyfriend and I don't."

How do you know that this the reason that never approach you? (I'm not saying it's not the reason...just that you need to research why they aren't approaching you.) Do guys tell you that this the reason? Probably not, because if a guy told you that he figured you already had a b/f, then all you would have to say is "Well, I don't have a b/f", and the guy would say "will you go out with me?".

"I've never approached a guy before and never even entertained the notion until right now. I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do, say, etc. I've never been rejected because I never asked a guy out first."

Being pretty, you wouldn't have to do / say very much. :)

[Anonymous]

I am an attractive chubby guy with a great personality. I am usually intimidated by the pretty and friendly girls, because again I am chubby. So I see that as an absolute waste of my time to go and approach a really attractive girl. Granted, I'd love to but I'd rather spare myself the embarrassment.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Trust me man, the embarrassment is minor. it lasts about a minute or two. Just remember this, dude; there is always another girl. There is always another guy. If you see a girl you fancy, just tell her, talk to her, ask her out, whatever. Eventually one of them will be happy to date you.

Be yourself, pour on the charm, and be respectful. Eventually you'll win somebody over.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks buddy, I appreciate your positive outlook. I will use that.

[purifiedwater]

I myself, am a fan of chubby guys. If you can't walk up some stairs that's another thing, but skinny-mini and or rock hard guys don't do anything for me. :/ And I'm not the only girl like that. :) so like Frost said, be respectful, be yourself, try to work the good ol' charm, and you'll get someone :)

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Pretty much. I mean I look like a Heavy Weapons Guy in Team Fortress 2. I'm not very good looking, but I still have a great girl in my life, and I used to be somewhat of a ladies man (If you believed what my friends say). So don't worry man. So just practice a little bravery, walk up to a girl and talk to her, and if you get rejected because of your looks, forget her, she's not worth it. There are plenty of other girls out there anyway.

[westen]

You ever tried doing it the other way and approaching a guy instead of waiting for him to make a move?

I'm not trying to be rude I'm just curious if you've tried before, I think it might help you.

[MIsterDomino]

If you're out somewhere public, people probably dont' approach you because it's rare to see an unescorted, attractive girl by herself; she's usually with a man or with a group of other girls.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but I don't want to date you... I know it hurts, but just fight through the pain. It will subside.

**Theres your first rejection. LOL jk.

[westen]

That was not the funniest thing I've ever read on girlsaskguys...

[Opinion Owner]

I wasn't trying to be funny jerk-off, so relax.

[toulouse]

I though it was funny! - It was unexpected ^ ^

[Opinion Owner]

Some people just don't understand a little humor. I said things like- "I know it hurts, but just fight through the pain"... I don't even know the girl! It's all in fun. She does sound upset about her situation and I'd never say anything on here to make that worse!

[kittehluff]

You sir, are a winner.