Why does he act like he doesn't know me?!

i had a fling with this guy for a month and it was great, until he ended things, and now he acts like I don't exist when he sees me. he even goes out of his way to avoid me. but we were never "officially" together so it's not like we had a bad break-up or anything, he just stopped calling me... he went from "oh you're amazing/beautiful/so awesome" to avoiding me in a flash, it was weird. I'm just wondering why he's being so immature and pretending he doesn't know me at parties, and won't even say hi?

guys, if you've ever done this to a girl, what were your reasons?

so I ran into him at a bar, drunkenly made out with him (yeah, don't judge), and he told me that his ex has been emailing him so he had to deal with a lot of sh*t from his past again... sounds like BS? but he's been IMing/texting me again ever since then!


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's a bit baffling, but I've learned to really abide by the saying "sh*t happens." Guys, and even girls, have their reasons for unexplainable behavior that just doesn't make any sense, no matter the situation.

    Don't let the sweet talk get to you either...if he finds you attractive, of course he'll say that–but so will many other guys who feel the same. Just because he said it, doesn't always mean he has deep rooted feelings for you; and just for that reason, it's easy to turn it on and off.

    After reading your recent comment, he was probably afraid of commitment. You'd think it's simple right? If a guy likes a gal, then why doesn't he just stick with her? Well there are many reasons. First of all, you both are probably very young. While you're prepared to settle into an exclusive relationship, he's probably just getting ready to play the field. Maybe it's not him, but rather his friends and the pressure that he's feeling. Like Malleboyz said, there are just toooo many reasons to have to analyze. It's not worth it babe!

    I would say just try and get past it. There is no point in analyzing this situation. If you try and spill him for answers, it will get you nowhere, and also, you'll be backing up his reasons for not calling you in the first place.

    It is actually the best thing you can do. Move on. Get sexier. Get a new hairdo and buy a REALLY sexy outfit. Go out and meet someone new. Love your new self.

    The funny thing is that once you move on, and he notices, he'll probably come crawling back...cause all boys want what other boys want.

    Take care.


What Guys Said 7

  • I did the same things to a girl, honestly because I had some stress going on with an ex girlfriend. The girl in your situation was just me having fun, I didn't think into it relationship wise. He enjoyed that night with you so he will want to hang out with you. I wouldn't expect to much from him as far as a relationship

    • Was it cause you didn't see the girl as girlfriend material, or cause you just weren't ready for something serious because you still had problems with your ex? is there anyway you would've stuck around to see it become more serious with the new girl?

    • I really was just seeing her as a good time. I never really thought about asking her as my girlfriend at the time, if she hinted that she wanted to be serious I probably would have asked her to be my new girlfriend but it probably would have been a month or so, I just wanted a break.

  • if it is done she did something stupid OR something made him turned off by her.

    • Like me calling him my boyfriend too soon?

  • i did that once because I read online that it drove girls crazy, and obviously it is with you, haha. it worked for a while, the girl was into me like crazy, but I think the problem was I ignored everything she did and after a while, about 2 weeks, she did it back to me, turned into a competition and she won, I laugh looking back at it now with some slight remorse, I was incredibility naive and inexperienced at the time.

    • That is EXACTLY what happened. eventually the girl will get sick of chasing after a guy who doesn't seem into her, so she'll ignore you back. the guy I was referring to actually just told me "but you ignored me too when you saw me at parties!" uh yeah, I wasn't gonna cling onto you when you're not paying attention to me. it just got out of hand. glad you learned your lesson though haha

  • i think your not telling us somthing. it could be somthing you said to him or some way you acted disrespectfull to him or to be quite honest it sounds like you to slept togather maybe he didn't want any strings attached and just wanted a good time babe that's what I would think.

  • cuz he is embaressed about u

    • Not trying to sound like I'm full of myself, but I'm a good looking girl, so that doesn't sound plausible...

  • uh I'd say a long story about reasons why but I'm completely stumped, "cause no matter how hard you try to ignore someone, fate has a way of bringing you together".

    Quote by FrenchBoy617 by Richard Dossantos- thx for the wisdom richard

  • I once did it to a girl. She hated me for it, but just like other guys, there can me SO many reasons.

    I don't think that any of us guys on GaG can answer your question why he does it, but only tell you want we know why us guys do it.

    I once had something with a girl for a month and a half, but then when it was getting really seriously, I were afraid of getting rejected later on, and were wondering why such and amazing girl wanted me for. So I stopped talking to her and avoiding her, so I couldn't get hurt in anyway.

    • I want to believe that reason, but it just sounds like something girls tell themselves to feel better, like "oh he liked me too much and was afraid of getting hurt" just sounds like BS, you know? if you really liked a girl wouldn't you want to be with her rather than NOT be with her? but we WERE getting pretty serious, and it was right after I called him my boyfriend that he started disappearing, so that might be it...

What Girls Said 8

  • yup a guy did that to me once too.. I finally asked him what was up and he said I was not christian and he was (even though I am but I don't go to church enough apparently) so we couldn't get more serious. (I didn't even know he was religious)

    really doubt that happened to you but I'm just trying to say that there is a million different possibilities as to why the only way to find out is to actually ask about it. stop letting it bug you just talk to him he owes you an explanation

    • Yeah but just cause guys owe you an explanation doesn't mean they're going to tell you the truth. he gave me some vague excuse about "being busy" because he "needs to get his life back together" after his break-up last semester... maybe he meant getting his life back doesn't include getting into another serious relationship, but it was still pretty vague and sounded like BS

    • Well then say something a long the lines of please be honest your not going to offend me and I know its more than you just being busy and I feel that we need to clear the air before I can move on.

  • hes going througth a mood phase I guess

  • maybe because it was a fling,and if the "fling" feeling wasn't mutual he may have been using you

  • A guy has done that to me as well ... I think its because he probably didn't want his friends to know that you guys were having a " fling ". " some" ( noticed I use the word some) guys tend to care what their friends think or say about the females that they are with .. If he can't say hello to you at a party . He is very immature. My fling and I used to give each other eye contact whenever we were in public. that is something that we both agreed on . I hope this helps .

    • Oh the weird thing was, his friends all knew... we would hold hands in public and kiss infront of them, so it wasn't just hook up buddies, it seemed like it was getting serious. and they think I'm attractive so it's not like he had to be ashamed of me.

    • This exact same thing happened to me, we were seeing each other for a month and slept together after 3 weeks and then the next day he sed he didn't want to hang out anymore even tho he'd previously sed we wer gonna get together officially soon and now he completely ignores me and deleted all pictures of us together - I really don't know wot I did wrong

  • KEY WORD "FLING"...lol you answered your own question honey...Follow his lead and act like you don't know him!...did he tell you u were amazing beautiful awesome before or after you guys slept together/hooked up a few times..did he take you out on a nice date to try to impress your amazing beautiful self..was it casual dating or was it a "fling"...Stop looking for the answer you wanna hear and accept the answer that you already know. smh

  • well, I kinda think, if you were never officially together? your kinda like everyone else to him, a no body, flings are flings, they are usually short and never last

  • good question... If it was a sexual thing or you've done a bit of feeling... He iis probably feeling REALLY insecure and is not so into you, which results to random breakup and completely ignoreing you, I know guys are weird, but in a weird way he still kinda cares about you and feels bad about the breakup... therefore ignoreing you... does that answer your question?

    • Doesn't really make sense but I understand what you're trying to say... I know he feels bad, he just doesn't know how to deal with the awkwardness to he avoids me :/ immaturity is what it is...