How do I know if it's over? Will ignoring him bring him back?

My ex sends me mixed signals, and whenever I call him on it, he says sorry and everything he does is platonic and he means none of it. For instance, we decided to be friends after a month of being broken up (which is a joke, I know) and we went out and he kept complimenting my outfit, saying I looked good, tried feeding me bites of his food, and told me how he still didn't tell his dad about us breaking up. Then, we went back to my house to watch a movie and he fell asleep on my shoulder. Of course people only do what you let them, but he said he doesn't want anything but yet he acts like this and I'm still very much in love. He told me that the reason why he's so final about not wanting anything with me "like that again, ever even after college" is because he's felt this way for awhile (we argued a bunch in the end because I picked stupid fights -.-). Even so, I don't see how he can be that way. Before we even went out to eat that night, a week before he told me he thought he spoke too soon about never wanting anything, but he just knew that right now he didn't. Then exactly a week later I called him on it saying if he doesn't want anything, why would he say that and he said "Idk why I said that, because I never want anything." So I stopped talking to him so I could heal...then he told my friend he missed me "as a friend" and hoped I'd come around soon to start talking to him again. So I did. Then we talked on the phone like we used to as best friends for three hours (it didn't mean anything because we used to talk like that all the time when we were best friends before we dated) and he kept saying "aw, you're so cute!" for the dumbest things that weren't even cute. At times, I would say okay I'll let you go now and he'd be like no. It's weird. I don't see friends acting like that. Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but when we talk in person or on the phone, he makes me think he has some sort of feelings he's suppressing and through text he is diff prob because he can think about what he's about to say. What do you think? Is he confused? How can I make him like me again if he's confused? I think he doesn't like me like he used to, but I can be the same as I used to was just the arguing that made him not like me. He told someone "I just wasn't feeling it anymore and she changed and I didn't like her anymore" but he acts differently toward me. Like when I gave him the last of his stuff when I put him on no contact, he saw me and said I looked good and tried to hug me. I don't get it. The day after we talked on the phone, he texted me, then nothing the next day and then yesterday he text me and I didn't respond. Is ignoring good? What should I do to get him back?

Also, I feel like with him flip-flopping from one week saying he spoke too soon to the next being so harsh and final, that exposes his confusion.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I will tell you how to get him back but you will have to follow these steps without breaking them. First, he holds the power because he KNOWS how much you care for him. He wants you by his side but he also wants to play the field. Normal dude mentality when they KNOW they got their chick in check. So here is what you do to get him to stop playing games and as you say, "make him like you again." You need to tell him he's a great guy but you think he needs to see other people because he his hurting you. IN OTHER WORDS-YOU NEED TO REJECT HIM. Then, I guarantee you this will happen. He will instantly feel his loss of power over you and will come crawling back. This is simple relationship power dynamics at work here. I would then implement no contact for at least a week to two weeks. Guys really only know what they have until its gone. So in saying that, its up to you after the cooling off period if you want to mess with the dude or not.