Do you flirt with other girls in front of FWB?

[Anonymous]

If you're sleeping with someone casually, is there still a level of basic respect you uphold regarding them and other girls?

Back story: I've been hooking up with a close friend of mine pretty regularly for a few months now, with only our closest mutual friends knowing what's going on. We haven't had a conversation about exclusivity, and I'm not trying to rush into that conversation by any means. When we all go out together, we're just friends as far as anyone else is concerned.

Here's the thing. Last weekend he called me up to hang out with a bunch of our mutual friends. But then all night he was standoffish and talking to every girl there besides me (when I say that, I mean he hardly even stood near me all night). Now look. I know there's no obligations to anyone, no strings attached at all. He's got the right to hook up with other people, as do I. Despite having a slight jealous bone, my logic tells me that he's not doing anything wrong.

But honestly, do you have to invite me out to witness his flirting with other people? Like, it's one thing for it to happen or to try and hook up with other people, but why invite me out to watch? Is there a point you're trying to make? We're definitely friends even without the benefits, so I'm not saying it should be his main concern but I feel like I wouldn't flirt with another guy in front of him, just out of basic respect for my friend. Especially when I actively invited him to hang out.

Is there any sort of protocol to this or do I just need to get over my pride?

[darkknight8909]

he could be trying to make you jealous bc maybe he wants something more and he wants to show you that he's desirable. i know I've done that to try and get a girl's attention.

but no there's nothing officially wrong with it if there's no commitment. I've had girls start flirting right in front of my friends with benefits when they found out thats all we are. it is a bit disrespectful for him to do that in front of you but i think it's more to make you jealous than to be a douche.

[Browneye57]

No. Quite being a slut. If you ride the cock-carousel long enough no one will want you.
You've cheapened yourself to the point of being almost worthless. And you see the result. Zero respect.

Women are the keepers of sex. Men are the keepers of commitment. If you give your sex away free there's no reason or impetus for him to commit. You've already given yours away.

[Asker]

The double standard in your view point is nauseating. For the record, I've known him for 7+ years, I know his sexual history and trust that he's clean, and I've slept with him and ONLY him the entire time we've been sleeping together. You consider me a slut, yet it's his right to sleep with whoever and as many people as he wants without being considered "cheap" or "worthless". Therefore, your opinion is irrelevant to me.

Oh and one more thing, commitment ≠ respect. I think you're confused on the definitions of the two. They're not interchangeable.

[Browneye57]

What exactly is the double standard and what is nauseating about it?
Now you're just talking in circles.
And first you say you're just casually hooking up with this guy and now you're saying it's exclusive for 7 years. Make up your mind honey - you're the one that is confused here. It's YOUR story!!

[Asker]

I was pretty clear in my response. We are casual, but I've KNOWN* him for 7 years (as I specifically stated). As in... we've been friends for a long time. Never once did I mention we were exclusive or even officially dating. I get called a slut for sleeping with one person for months, when it's someone I know well and am comfortable with. That supposedly makes me cheap and worthless. Yet the guy in the scenario can sleep with as many girls or flirt with as many girls as he wants with no reflection on his worth. That's a double standard. I will not be shamed for something that men get praised for.

[Browneye57]

Evidently you're just super confused about relationships and how they work. And you are unable to view all your comments and not see how ridiculous it all looks.
It shows that having sex with guy means nothing to you, he's not even someone you are 'having a relationship with' as you say, but you think it should all mean more to him as evidenced with the way he treats you.
This is about you - not him. And you have cheapened yourself to the point where not only do you not respect yourself, it's obvious he doesn't either.
The answer is very simple: QUITE DOING THIS!
And don't go getting all defensive - this is YOUR problem, not anyone elses.

[IceCubedude]

I guess what he is trying to say is, you are having sex with a guy (regarldess of how you feel about him) with no strings attached, he gets to fk you and not do anything in return no dates, no buying gifts, doesn't even have to stop talking to women, when he's horny he calls you up... I don't know what all that means to you or what is happening in your head, but someone has to tell you at some point, women like that are not taken seriously by guys, even in western open minded countries, you're for a lack of a better word too easy for him.

is it every guys dream? yes , i wish i am in that dudes place, a girl i find attractive to have sex with whenever i want and i dont even have to invest anything in it or treat her like a girlfriend... but the facts remain i can't ever, take such a girl seriously she is simply not comittment material.

if you find yourself catching feelings maybe its better to end it.

[nayyybee]

Get over it. But if it bothers you this much you might wanna have a talk about exclusivity or at least set some ground rules. And if you're acting like you don't care how is he supposed to know things like this bother you? Guys aren't like us you need to be direct

[writing_essays]

I think he is trying to make you jealous because he wants attention or he wants you to make it exclusive or he is just a plain jerk who doesn't care about your feelings or your relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

You should flirt with other guys in front of him you guys aren't entitled to each other. You're not in a committed relationship. I get you're friends but it would only bother you if u are attached

[underconstuxion206]

I say you're right to feel that way, I think he did it for a reason and that it's to make jealous, either to get you to commit or he's just a javkass. Is he usually a flirt, or is he usually laid back? If this ain't normal, then he either wants to break it off with you or he wants a commitment. You should know how he is around other girls more than anyone, but if this something different, then he may want to commit to you, but he's scared to ask.

[Asker]

He's usually very laid back. He wasn't flirting hardcore with any girl in specific, it was nothing obnoxious, but the flirting with other girls coupled with the blatant avoidance of me all night despite inviting me there made for some seriously weird vibes between us. It definitely felt like a conscious decision on his part, but the potential reasons why are drastically different and would affect how I approach the situation. Talk about confusing...

[underconstuxion206]

Try not to give it much thought, put him in the back of your thoughts, and when he messages you, don't respond for a while, and when you do, don't apologize, just say you were busy, and if he asks if it has anything to do with that night, just tell him "no". You have to act like it doesn't bother you (bc that's what it seemed like he was trying to do).

[Heemus_Christ]

nope, nope, nope. I say that because first I don't think friends with benefits ever work from personal experiances, to many emotions. never has, not one. even fuck buddies. same way. so me knowing that now, wouldn't even try it. just causes conflict. and I can handle conflict very well. but conflict between a girl and guy with sex being involved. shit I'm good

[Mofunfour20]

this is why fwb's get conflicting & complex. See if he'd go out with you if not what else do you have to loose? Especially if you're already comfortable using each other sexually?

[Lorenz965]

No, i always respect the girls im with, even if we are just fuck buddies i make sure they feel like the most beatiful girl on earth.

[Tarvold]

It depends on the deal I have with the friends with benefits. If it doesn't hurt or disrespect her, then sure, why not?

[Asker]

Would you initiate a conversation about that before it becomes an issue or would you just wing it and see how your friends with benefits reacts?

[Tarvold]

Bit of both.

[Mbored92]

i dont think there is any protocol, he might have developed more feelings for you and he is tryin to get you jealous, or he simply doesn't realise it. Guys dont think a lot about these stuff to be honest.

[dudeman]

i think you're in the wrong. also if you get in a relationship in the future you should drop all your friends

[redxiii74]

Get over it. friends with benefits situations should be completely open and transparent

[Shaft50]

No, because chances are she wants to get with this girl too

[Anonymous]

If I had a friend with benefits I still don't think I would do that in front of her

[Anonymous]

Yes. Girls who are friends with benefits don't mean anything to us. They are essentially vaginas that let us poke them.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I flirt with girls when my friends with benefits is around. She is not my girlfriend.

[Kachatterjee]

No, you are right.

[Guy_No1]

that sounds like he was testing you

[Asker]

The problem is, I don't know how to pass that test. If his goal was to make me jealous, he may have succeeded but I don't enjoy being disrespected on pur

[Guy_No1]

I can imagine, its a pretty shitty thing to do.

[dontaskmebaby]

I do

[Anonymous]

Will u be my fwb?

[Anonymous]

Boss hog