How to make her emotionally attracted to me again?

[Anonymous]

I dated this girl a long time almost 4 years! we broke up because she said something was missing that was deeper. She said she is 100% physically into me but not 100% emotionally into me right now. We spent some time together yesterday and she said she doesn't want to lead me on or use me physically. So were sitting outside and were close and I'm looking her dead in the eyes and I tell her I know you still love me...she didn't say she did or didn't but she did playfully say don't be a freak haha (we call each other that all the time). The next thing I know is were inside kissing and touching all over and she tells me she WANTS TO but can't because of the timing of the month...We did other things and she did things to me but was she just using me or did she actually have an emotional connection to it?

Also, I ask ladies what can I do to get her emotionally attracted to me again? she knows I love her deeply so buying flowers and candy won't work. She says I don't seem as motivated as her in life but she really is a freak when it comes to that! I'm no slouch or anything and I will be successful but just not as fast as she will be.

Last piece of info. I called her last night about 5 hrs after we saw each other and I asked her if it was ok that I already miss her and she giggled and said yeah. Later in the same convo she did say though that if she goes on a date with someone else for me not to get angry and I told her I wouldn't but I would like to continue to see her regularly and she wants to do that as well. She currently has no dates lined up. I'm going away for the weekend but she seemed really excited about seeing me next week and told me to call her when I'm on my way home! Also, she does like this other guy and I feel like he makes her laugh and stuff but he can't provide physically what I can. Plus I don't think he gives her everything emotionally otherwise I would be out of the picture completely right? she doesn't want a relationship with anyone (neither me or him) for a long time she just wants to enjoy being single for awhile and I respect that and I will wait for her.

[rockmom]

there has to be a connection there, shared interests, experiences, an understanding between the two of you, knowing what you'll say next, being surprised when you're unpredictable, laughing at inside jokes, knowing exactly what you mean, adoring your cute little comments. if she wants to date, take it as an opportunity to take things more casually and go back to having fun. remind her you're the one who really knows her which will remind her she's the one who really knows you =)

[CEECEE123]

she doesn't want you as a boyfriend but she still doesn't want to lose you..my advise to you is to understand that she is not that into you- if you want to keep her in your life then do so as no more than just friends...because as much as she says she doesn't want to lead you on she IS leading you on...

[AlanHB]

Mate, it sounds like she's already with the other guy.

[Asker]

She isn't w this other guy, she has only kissed him nothing more. he isn't even in the u.s. now and they will only c each other mayb 2 weeks out of the summer, ill see her all summer. he made her happy while she was sad about me and the break up, he is nothing more than a break up. I just need to kno how to make her emotionally attracted on a deep level. She still is emotionally connected because she told me she loves me but something deeper is missing...we had sex just yesterday so I mean...

[AlanHB]

I think right now she's emotionally attached to the other guy I mean. I don't think they "just kissed" and if he was closer right now, she'd drop you like a stone. She's already planning to see him again - she's just getting a bit of sex from you to tide her over. You can't make her feelings come back for you while she likes someone else.

[Asker]

I get what your saying and in most cases it would make a lot of sense. it all doesn't matter now because last night I burned the bridge haha...i know they "just kissed" but it doesn't matter now anyways. Its a very weird situation now and she said she would never use me just for sex because she knew it would lead me on and sh*t. She's a very good girl ya kno the type any guy would wife. she doesn't beat around the bush and doesn't f*** w peoples heads that's y I believe her when she tells me they just kissed

[AlanHB]

No you believe they "just kissed" because you're in denial. Most people would agree with me because it's the truth. It's just harder for you to see because you're in the situation rather than outside it.

[Asker]

Ok she didn't just kiss this guy...so when she told me about her cheating she decided to lie about it? I told her I had sex with other people and cheated on her also and she still said she only kissed him...like I said this was never the point of my question anyways I don't care if she f***ed someone else that's besides the point

[AlanHB]

Yah but when they come back she'll just run off and root him again. You can have her after. Are you ok with this?

[Asker]

She could feel different about him when he gets back which is 5 weeks away and then she is leaving the country herself for 3 weeks so I mean things could be completely different by then. I kno I f'ed up in the past and so has she but I mean a lot of people who end up together for good sometimes date people between when they first date and when they tie the knot...me and her both don't want relationships now and can do whatever...so after this "time" apart I would def take her back w/o question

[AlanHB]

What's more likely to happen is that she has sex with this guy, then has sex with more guys overseas. She's told you she doesn't want to lead you on, and she's not attached to you.

[Asker]

Look I don't know how else to say it but I don't care if she has sex with other people because I know that I am...i know we need to be apart for awhile and she is still attracted to me physically and a good portion emotionally just not on that "deep" level. She may have sex w whoever I just wanna kno the steps over the next few months I have to take to get her to want me back...we had broken up before and had sex with others then got back together, that isn't a problem for me

[AlanHB]

There is no way. It's over. She'll drag you along then kick you to the curb.

Best answer?