My FWB is avoiding me.

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend I've known for years, he was my ex's workmate and shooting buddy (I split with my ex a month ago).

My friend came over one night and we had some drinks and fooled around. We talked online a couple days later and I told him I regretted that I wasn't sober enough to enjoy it and it wasn't the right situation but would like to do it again. He came over the next night and we hooked up. He stayed most of the night.

I feel like I can really talk to him and he "sees" me and I can be myself around him. He told me he can't promise me a future as he is leaving soon and only wants to be FWB. I've only just left my husband of 14 years and aren't looking for a relationship, just a FWB that I can trust.

5 days later he was depressed about his life not going how he wanted and was quite down, so he came over about 11pm. Was just coming for a coffee and said he wouldn't be staying long, but I seduced him and now he is avoiding me. I've been sending him daily messages and have now stopped because he isn't replying. I last sent him a message 4 days ago saying that I'm sorry that I wasn't there for him as a friend and took it further. That I'm aware we are only FWB and that's fine because I don't want a rel at the moment, but I miss his friendship and miss talking to him and I talk to all my close friends on a daily basis and aren't trying to be his gf.

He hasn't yet replied but has been online. Not sure what's going on, a friend who knows him thinks he might be confused about his feelings, but he DID say that he only wanted to be FWB so I don't get it

I wish I had of met him first but I didn't and are happy to be FWB and a close friend he can talk to and if it's meant to be it'll happen when its meant to down the track, BUT I really miss talking to him and don't know why he's not replying and why he's avoiding me?

I apologized for taking it further when he wasn't in the mood and told him I miss his friendship and to come and talk to me because I need to know we are still cool and that I really miss him . That I don't give up my friends easily and do anything for them and It's killing me to be losing his friendship.

What's going on? Opinions please :) thanks

[Anonymous]

Friend? I think your feelings go a little beyond that. He is being a normal friend, friends don't always talk to one another or reply right away. He is supposed to be just a friend, right? He doesn't need to talk to you every day, or even every week. If you truly "don't want to lose his friendship," then don't worry about it. I just think you may have gotten a little more... emotionally involved. That's what I think is going on.

[HumphreyT]

I agree, I think feelings have gotten involved here with him as well as with you.

[Anonymous]

I’m just out of a friends with benefits relationship. Although he said he wanted no emotions, he had them and showed them. We hooked up in January, he said it was amazing, texted a few days and has been silent now for four months.

[toulouse]

:) I think its what you guys signed up for , its part of the contract deal :

He is an fbw, I think randomly ignoring you & floating into obscurity every now & again, is part of the package plan - No?

[DanielSan]

This is pretty decent advice

[iamallstar]

Sounds to me like you've fallen a little too hard for FWB to work.

Funny thing is, it's not him that's acting weird. It's you. I think your best bet is to be honest with yourself about your feelings...to him and, most importantly, yourself. It is obvious you care a lot for this guy, and a FWB situation with him is likely going to wind up hurting you in the long run. It sounds like its already started.

Good luck.

[whatyouwant39]

I think that he wants more than friends with benefits I know I do but friends with benefits situation would be great if could be only that but it's hard for me to do that but will if lonely like now.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

Maybe depression.
Severe depression and some suicidal people will push others away