I am so emotionally devastated. I've been with this girl for about 3 years. For about the last six months, we have been going through a rough patch. Up until recently, we made things a little better. That is until yesterday. She told me that she does not want to be with me anymore and that she lost all feelings. She said she still loves me but is not in love with me. This wasn't the first time I've heard this from her. I guess I'm having a hard time being in denial. Other times, I thought she might have been just upset because of the little arguments that we have had but this time, I think she means it. I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess she has been thinking about this lately that's why its so easy for her. Other times in the past, when we broke up, I tried so hard to move on but I couldn't. I went out, made new friends and stayed occupied. But she doesn't leave my mind. She text me last night asking if I will be OK. I did not reply to it. In my heart, I know I love her and I truly want to be with her. I don't know if it is another guy or what it might be. I honestly feel like it might be. I guess I am most to blame here because I revolved my world around her. I don't what to do, I'm hurting so much. I felt heart broken at what she said to me last night and she has given me so many chances. I'll admit that I was clingy and I'm sorry I did not put more effort in making myself a better person for her. I always realize things when it is too late.
I try and try to be strong. But it's something about her that is holding me back. I don't think I can ever truly move on and I am not left asking myself why.. I've been with many girls in the past but she is truly different. I really felt she is my soul-mate. I just don't know if I can set her free as much as I'm trying so hard to do. I know it is selfish on me to try to hold on to someone who doesn't want to be with me. She even asked me, "Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?" I don't know how to move on.. I just want to be happy again. I will always love her.
Most Helpful Girl
Everything you describe here is the normal, difficult process of breaking up.
It is way too early for you to worry about not being able to move on. There is no reason for you to be able to move on yet. Yes, you have had breakups with her before but they were all temporary and you somehow sensed that but now you see that this breakup is the real deal.
Breaking up is a grieving process. You will go in and out of, as well as back and forth on, any number of stages, from denial, to anger, to acceptance, to grief. Everyone's grieving process is different, but in the end it is painful. It takes time for it to become more bearable. One day it actually becomes workable and then one day it just isn't an issue anymore.
It took me a full year to get through all the effects that came from the breakup of my 3 year relationship. I felt he was the love of my life. Our relationship was so passionate and life-changing, but then he tired of the energy it took to be so passionate, he thought he would still get all of that from me without putting much in to it himself, and of course it fell apart. It was probably the hardest breakup I have ever had. But, I did get through it. Now, when I talk to him (very rarely) or think of him (just as rare), I have no feelings for him, neither love nor hate. I am just cool with knowing he was part of my past, but I do not want him in my future and I feel whole. It will happen for you too, but you have a ways to go.
Best of luck!