So my gal and I first started dating march of last year, then she broke up with me because I said I thought about leaving her over a plane ticket issue, so she left me for my thought. Then we got back together and she left me right before thanksgiving via text msg. Yet again, I get back with her this past Feb and officially started dating 1 March. This is a long distance relationship and those on their own are no easy feat but I know I can do it, just a matter of both parties working with one another. I have probably been a little needy of her attention lately but perhaps it is because she makes me feel like I am the very bottom of her things to do list. I imagine her list goes something like this; take care of kid, look for jobs, get college stuff going, talk to friends and family, read books, read the Missed Connections section on Craigslist (because she thinks its funny, yeah right), watch TV shows and Movies, and then at the very bottom of this list is call boyfriend... maybe. Recently she went back home for a family wedding and I suppose she could be extremely stressed out and busy, but I HARDLY heard from her at all. Not even an effing text msg. How long does it take to say "Hey babe, miss you and love you, hope you're having a great day", But I have not once heard her say she misses me without me saying it first. Well I sent her mother "5" txt msgs two days prior to the wedding trying to see if her or someone else could watch her kid while she went to a 5 hr session at the day spa that I bought for her for the following weekend. Next thing I know I am being told I am really pushy and went over the line by asking her mom and by sending one short message on fb to her sister asking the same thing. Then I get told that I was pushy about going to see her out where she lives with her dad now. Stumped as to how my wanting to see my girlfriend is being pushy I have given up. She has not talked to me in several days other than maybe one text a day and I have not been calling or texting her since she wanted some "space". I would love for our relationship to work out, because when we are physically together things are absolutely amazing, but the second I leave, its like she flips this switch. I honestly don't know what to do. From what my sister tells me, she has never been dumped by a guy before, but at this rate I believe I will get to be the first and that is really not my goal. My goal is to be the last man she ever dates... HELP
I love her, but she makes me feel so unappreciated, how can I fix it?
What Girls Said
I am going to ask you to do something, go back and re-read your post again. Now, as you are reading, take note of where you are doing all the work and the lack of reciprocation from your gf. In addition, I want you to look for the parts where you are happy and fulfilled (minus the portion about being together physically and it's amazing).
IMO, she lacks the effort, commitment, devotion, appreciation and respect that you deserve. You are doing all the work and she doesn't appreciate you at all. Moreover, the fact that she doesn't make you a priority in her life should speak volumes to you. This girl clearly doesn't see that she has a good guy in front of her who clearly loves her and wants a relationship. You cannot do all the work here because it has to be 50/50. You have needs too, you are entitled to be loved, you deserve to have her buy you tickets to a pro-football game for a holiday etc.
I highly doubt she will have an epiphany and wake up and smell the coffee. When you both get together and you leave, THAT should be the time she appreciates you more. Knowing it will be awhile before she will see you again. She should cry, feel empty, her heart should feel like it's being ripped out of her chest, get excited when the phone rings and discovers it's you, ache to be in your arms again. She exhibits NONE of that. Please do yourself a favor and show her the door.
All the best.
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