Why did he pull away after I confessed my feelings?

[melloncollie]

Well I'm sure you've seen/read this a million times, but hey all we have is time right?

So I got in touch with this boy I knew from high school, who apparently recognized me while I didn't recognize him at all. We started slowly talking every other day, until eventually it got to the point that we were talking everyday for more than 10 hours (online of course). We connected so easily and surprisingly. When I mean we had everything possibly in common we did. It was crazy.

Three months into our friendship I needed help moving, so he drove down to help me (he lives half an hour away). He helped me move from 10 am to 12 pm. After we were done moving, we bought drinks and we stayed talking and to my delightful surprise everything in person was just the same as we were online. He told me that night a secret wish he claimed not to have told anybody. I felt special. We ended the night by making official our movie night we had talked about so much. When I mention it to him a couple days later, he evades so I drop the subject. We continue chatting as always and we just keep getting closer.

Eventually, me thinking it would be touching on my part, I tell him that I consider him my closest friend. Two days later he gets drunk and texts me all night telling me I'm the best, that he loves keeping me around, that he doesn't know what he would do without me. We talk again, but I can feel him kinda pulling away at that point. My thinking, again, I had made a mistake by telling him he was my friend, I confess my feelings to him. We started distancing again but we've never gotten back to how we were. Now we don't even talk barely ever.

I told him I didn't want to lose my friendship with him, and he says I haven't that he's been busy, but our friendship definitely deteriorated. I don't know what to do now. I tell myself to leave him alone, but I still want to be his friend even if he doesn't have feelings for me, I just wish I knew one way or the other what happened? I already brought the subject up to him and he said things are okay, but he never even told me he didn't like me or that he did.

I don't want to pressure him, so I just try leaving him alone, but I miss him and I just wish I had answers. Answers he's apparently not ready to give. What should I do? :/

[leannetaffy]

Sounds like he got scared as you guys sounded very close and as nice as that is, it can be a bit daunting to realize you are with someone you can't just drop, as there are feelings that run deeper than a normal new couple? There is more at stake, which can also mean it is worth the risk, but both would have to be ready for that to work. If you miss him, can you deal with him just being a friend or do you want more? Be honest with yourself about that first and then talk to him as a mate and tell him that it means too much to throw away completely and that you would rather have him as a friend than not have him at all x

[Dominique_7]

I definitely think he has, or at least used to have feelings for you. If you felt such a strong connection with him I don't think that can only come from one side. I think there's something you don't know that's bothering him, which may not have anything to do with you.

Why don't you just sit down with him, explain that you feel the two of you have grown apart, and ask him how he feels about you? I'd also tell him you have feelings for him but if he doesn't, you'd still really like to be his friend. I find that being honest and open usually works best. :) Good luck!

[melloncollie]

Well I tried talkin to him and he ignored it..so I left him alone for about a week. yesterday he was nice to me. today he acted like he hates me. he's bipolar. I think I'm givin up on him.