Do guys like girls that are 'one of the guys'?
I hang out with guys and have all my life. So inconsequently I say things a girl normally wouldn't say and do things girls wouldn't do. I don't hang out with the jocks, but the nerds. So I play all the video games you can think of and kick butt.
I dress like a nerd. I guess. Black and fishnetting.
Thing is, I have trouble finding some one who wants to go out with me because I'm different. Do guys like a girl like me, or am I just the runt of the litter while the pick is wearing makeup and classy jewelery. Please help me figure out if I've screwed my life over by being me.
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What Guys Said 3
Well you said you are hanging with the nerds, nerds don't normally ask girls out, they keep to themselves and play video games, I would know because I am one, always have been, but I am really good at talking to girls, and I know this one girl, met her and got to know her through marching band, she hung out with us at this community day thing, we are all being retarded and she just went with it. Maybe you should try pushing a "nerd" that you hang out with to going out with you, maybe you'll find that they are good at other things besides video games!
Also if you hang with some one enough something is bound to happen.
I have a woman who's a bit like that.
1) I fell like she has very little trouble getting boyfriends. Decent guys, too.
2) It's cute and even though she's a platonic friend, I gotta admit it's a tad bit sexy. I can be a man around her without her freaking out or ignoring me.
I can frag grenade a Covenant alien and when he dies it's cool. And she could probably whoop my butt at Halo, but she's cool enough to admit when her characters get killed by mine.
She's cool enough to be seen in public with me without worrying that some stranger might think we're dating, and she makes me laugh, and I make her laugh, and this is laugh as in "almost gotta pee my pants full blown snorting laughter." And she's not always worried about what others think about her.
And yes, she can be a little girly, but believe it or not, in a positive way. She does makeup and her hair. She looks nice. But she's just a cool person.
During an especially rough point in my life, she was one of two women friends who weren't talking about me behind my back in nasty ways, or butting in inappropriately. And when I make hard decisions, but do it right, she can actually admit it.
It's awesome. I can talk to her. I can pick on her, and I don't have to feel like I have to be a different person around her.
But, I'm a bit of a nerd myself, so I suppose I'd find that stuff in general a little sexy if a girl/woman can play video games or quote Monty Python or go to a sci fi convention.
Perhaps the problem is 1) Most of the nerds I'm sure would find you attractive just because you're cool and have similar interests. 2) The people you like hanging out with. you characterize them as nerds, so they're probably a bit awkward around others. some might be a little intimidated with you, so they won't ask you out because even though you're like them, you're still a girl and they know girls will most likely reject them. 3) Your friends aren't going to look at you as attractive in any other way than platonic "Oh yeah, she's great" because you're their friend, and not all of them think of you as a datable woman. It's an established relationship that might be hard for some to break. I know I have the bad habit of accidentally calling one of my woman friends "man" because I think of her sort of as one of the guys, and the "Later, man" escapes from my mouth. 4) You're probably considered one of the nerds. So to anyone that isn't a nerd, there's probably not the level of compatibility. You don't go for the jocks, so they're usually out.
You claim to be nerdy. So find a nerdy guy. Now, like I said, this is a lot tougher because a lot of them are going to be very shy. That doesn't mean there isn't an interest, it just means that they're socially more awkward, and so they won't all come up to talk to you.
You might consider asking out guys you think are cute, or flirting more with them. And with nerdy guys, you'll need to be more aggressive in your approaching.
A girl that plays video games would be one of the most awesome things for a lot of guys to find, but then again guys also like it when girls act at least a little girly. That's not saying you have to go out and start being the stereotypical idea of some idiot ditzy girl or anything, but at least letting guys see you as something more "sexual" than just a friend would be nice too. My friends and I have commented many times about how it would be awesome to find a girl that liked to play games just as we did, so I know for a fact that you can find someone. One last thing I would say is is that guys do judge quite a bit off looks. I know that seems shallow, but when you first meet someone it's all you've got to go off of really. So changing your look a little might not be a bad thing if you're looking to find a guy. Don't take that wrong though, I'm one for being whoever you want to be, but it's the way guys work.
What Girls Said 4
Really it comes down to finding someone who shares common interests with you, plus, CONFIDENCE is key. I cannot stress that enough. Guys can smell an insecure girl a mile away and it makes them run a mile away too. If you are happy in your own skin, THAT is what makes you just as attractive as the prissy girls who are high maintenance arm candy.