I'm afraid to talk to girls. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

OK so I can talk to girls if it comes up like in a group or something(I'm not a social retard), but like girls I think are cute I see them and think "if I talk to her she'll just be like wtf go away" in my head and don't bother. I'm 21 and I haven't done anything(nothing at all) with a girl and I hate that. I don't know how to ask for a number or a date or anything like that. Even to start out as friends. I've never had a friend that's a girl. :/

How do I get over that and accomplish something?

Updates

+1 y

Oh if it makes a difference it'd most likely be at work it's the only place I see any girls. Once I'm 21(only like 12 days away) maybe it will be other places.

[magiiic_mike]

Talk to EVERY girl you see! Your thoughts manifest themselves in your interactions with women. Don't put so much pressure on yourself man. As soon as you see a girl you like, go up to talk to her before you start thinking those negative thoughts and be yourself.

Everyone says be yourself, but not many have the balls to be themselves in front of women. If you are trying to get laid, she's going to know right away what your intentions are. You've been this long without it, put it off for a little while longer so that you can perfect your technique.

Think of yourself as an actor in the theater of life. Tell stories and enjoy the interaction instead of thinking in terms of an outcome. The more experience you get, the less you are going to get that anxiety when you approach a good looking woman you don't know.

Try going out and meeting different women and purposefully attempt to get rejected. That way you can find out that the fear of rejection is worse than actual rejection itself.

good luck!

[Asker]

Nice answer and nah I'm not hoping to get laid that's jumping the gun. Slow and steady wins the race in my opinion. I'll try this since getting girls that are friends is something I want to.

[magiiic_mike]

Thanks man no problem..hope I can help..

nothing beats a failure but a try..also try assuming that all women love you and can't resist your charm. It's your reality so choose the one you want!

[Asker]

Haha ok.

[yellowtips4]

Ok here's what you do you find a girl whos slightly attractive not like uber hot but attractive, OK make sure you have good hygene if you smell there gonna know and its a turn of man, plus brush our teeth 2 times a day in the morning and at night, now this is the hard part, walk up to her say hi and smile not a creepy huge smile just a slight smile that says I'm coinfident but I'm still a little not sure what you think, I was 15 and doing this to chicks in there 20s and I wasn't uber hot if they smile back that's when you know that your in, usually they do it naturally if it dosn't look natural then you you should probably drop it

[cherrykitty]

Well Think about it like this, I think of everyone as a unisex, Guys and girl, Guys I like and guys I think of as brothers. So just get in this mind set that she is just like any other person you might want to be friends with. Don;t put your self out till she puts you out. Don;t over think things, but don;t stop thinking all together, Clear your head of most bad things, and treat her like a person not a hot chick who you would want to do stuff with or whatever. Build a friendship with her and then tell her you think that shirt is cute on her, you like her up or down. Throw in things that you like about her. and then see how she reacts to that, then break the touch thing and see how she acts. Like Touch her shoulder if she moves her shoulder away she is not in to you and just be friends.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I'll get up the courage soon. I can't be like this forever otherwise I'm screwed. I pulled it all throughout High School and I have HUGE regret on that. I just didn't talk to girls at all assuming they'd hate me. I've gotten a lot better since I graduated but I'm still behind.

[cherrykitty]

Just remember they are a person, not a girl, and make some form of a friendship with them. and slowly move forwards with that. its hard at first but baby steps. Net time you see a girl you like, go up to her and start talking to her, like if she has a book , ask her about the book, and then say " Hi I'm ....." and just start talking its not so hard after you get over the first few minutes.

[Asker]

So girls won't think I'm weird if I do that? Unless they're shallow or a bitch obviously lol

[cherrykitty]

Like don;t be CREEPY about it, just like notice something you think you could carry out a conversation with her about, um Might try smiling and waving at random girls, like the friendly hello wave and the have a nice day smile. Hold open doors for girls and tell them to have a nice day, work on small talk, either with people you don't know or to yourself in the mirror. like the more to get comfortable with random people and random girls, the easier it will come to you.

[littlefitz]

We think the same thing. "What if he thinks I'm desperate?" is one that I know a lot of girls run through their heads.

Cheesy pickup lines are cute and will (usually) make us laugh. Try one with extra gouda.

"I seem to have lost my number. Can I have yours?"

[Asker]

Lol apparently your answer is bad. I don't see how it is. I like it. Anyway I don't even know any pick up lines. The only think I can think of is talking like this person from Mad TV but if they haven't seen it, it would backfire. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRbkkqZikx4 "Can I have yo numba" haha

[kheserthorpe]

You fix it by talking to girls.

Not hitting on them.



Just start saying 'hi' to 4 or 5 women a day who you don't know. They may say 'hi' back. They may start chatting with you. They may tell you to go screw yourself. It doesn't matter, your goal is just to say 'hi'. There's nothing wrong with saying 'hi'. If they get angry, they have issues, not you.

Once you get comfortable with that, start trying to strike up conversations. Most will go poorly. Doesn't matter. Practice practice practice.

When you do start trying to approach girls, remember, your goal isn't to impress them or pull off some pick up routine. Its to see if there's a connection, and see if you actually want to see them again. If you start talking to a girl and find out she doesn't seem nice, you're going to walk away. That's not a 'failed pick up' that's a 'got to know a girl, not interested'. Think about seeing if there's mutual interest, more then trying to 'pick up'.

[littlemisschatterbox]

Girls don't bite sweetie. Just go over and introduce yourself and start talking to each other. I know you have no intentions on hitting on a girl right away and I'm sure if you keep it clean you'll be fine. I think guys think way to much about this. Just go with the flow. I know you are thinking, "Yeah, easy for you to say", but when you start talking you'll begin feeling more comfortable and relaxed.

[baseballbandfreak27]

well if you never attempted it outside a group enviroment in real life then how do you know you"ll be shot down find girl you like ask her to meet her somewhere and talk to her if she yes it's a big step in going to say she wants to talk to you

[SnackG]

Instant assumption. No girls have ever shown any signs of interest so I go off of that.

[baseballbandfreak27]

have actully tried or do you just give up after they a sign of no interest and 2 like who you are a girl will sense it I used to hate who I was now I don't and the results are way better then they were

[SnackG]

Never tried. I'm not saying showing signs while I try. I mean anytime in my life.

[baseballbandfreak27]

you cannot go through life saying what if if you never tried then you missing an experiance everyone should experience (love, lust, heartbreak, failure, triumph) are all part of life if you don't try at least try to experiece these then you not living your life you are existing

[SnackG]

Basically. I'm kind of just like oh well and keeping my mind off it with video games and stuff. I don't think I'll ever have the guts to do it. :|

[baseballbandfreak27]

I think there in lies your problem your scared sometimes it's better to sa f*ck it swallow fear and just do it if you listened to half the advice people give each other on here you'll probably have a girlfriend right now

[baseballbandfreak27]

1 no their not 2 confidence is everyting 3 if they talked you in a group situation then they'll talk to outside that 4 practice makes perferct if you failed with 1 girl move on to the next

[Anonymous]

Volunteer at an animal shelter where they will be a lot of girl volunteers and work on your communication skills

[moviedude714]

if only they were alone more often, it would be easier

[Anonymous]

I think you should just go for it. Be less shy. Or maybe you should just get close to girls in social situations and they see where it goes after once you get to knwo them.

[frustratedchump06]

keep stepping out of your comfort zone

[Anonymous]

Just have a little confidence.

[frustratedchump06]

same here