Should I wait for him to visit me first?

[Anonymous]

I have been talking a lot to this guy I met when I was on vacation. I went back to visit where I used to live, and a friend introduced us. We spent time together and have a really amazing connection. He told me he wanted to keep talking and he will come visit me. I live on the opposite side of the country, but plan on moving back. I think he could be the one. But here is the question: I kind of want to go back and visit him now, because I don't know when he'll be able to make it here. Should I wait until he comes to see me first? It's been almost a month since we met, and I don't want to go more than a couple of months without seeing him. He still says he will visit, but has to get more flexibility in his schedule. It is probably easier for me to go. I want him to come and don't want to hurt his ego if I go visit him first. But I also think him coming here will show his dedication and how serious he is about us.

Any suggestions?

[Taken-lady]

Well, since you're both older, I'd assume that you're more aware of what constitutes a good match. I totally appreciate your predicament though. Jobs, especially good ones, aren't easy to come by right now so we tend to not want to rock the boat and ask for time off or whatever.

If this is TRULY the case then I'd say you could consider visiting him but I'd keep it very platonic or he may feel as though you're throwing yourself at him.

One question. Has he mentioned you coming for a visit or made any suggestions like that? Men LIKE a challenge, they like to chase and to "win" the woman's heart. Don't be too easy. (I don't mean you have to be cold but just don't rush in...I'm sure you know.)

[Asker]

He hasn't mentioned me visiting. At first I was skeptical, since we had only a few days together when we met, so I was like, yeah right, and he told me he was going to prove it to me. He's the one who brings it up. I know we are both feeling it, so you're right, it will probably be much more rewarding and meaningful to him if he visits first. He's such a great guy, and I want to let him have that feeling that he is making me happy, and not push it. I appreciate your response!

[Taken-lady]

Glad to help!

I'd say with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years not too far off, another face to face is in your not too distant future.

:-)

(I'd be most obliged if you chose my response for best answer. )

[larryburns]

I would wait until he came. I don't want to come across too strong. If a few months still pass and he hasn't came, then I would consider visiting him