I mean seriously, you'd rather ask a kinda ugly girl out instead of a pretty and super cool one, because you're afraid of rejection? Sometimes you have to get over yourselves and stop thinking that girls are 'out of your league'. It's such a guy thing, I've never thought that in my life about guy.
People say it a numbers game. That's fine and all. If you fall, get up and try again right? But hearing you aren't good enough 99 times before you get that 1 person who will give you a chance really takes a toll on your ego.
Girls like to be looked at, chased after, told they are beautiful and cute. It makes them feel good and boost their ego. They never really have to realize their fears of not being good enough because most of the time they are the ones being chased. Guys have their fears realized every single time they try.
We're tough, we'll get over it, but give us a little slack, its hard.
because getting rejected hurts... even the toughest guy doesn't like getting shot down. as far as asking out "ugly" girls... I would never ask a girl out if I wasn't at least attracted to her in some way.
I agree with most of the other posts here so far. Nobody wants rejection. On top of that, you don't have to be "pretty" to be super cool. Guys and girls operate the same way: you're normally only going to a person out if they're showing interest in you. If that "pretty and super cool" girl doesn't show any interest because SHE thinks she's out of your league, then she's not going to get asked out. Whether she's pretty, cool, ugly, boring, obnoxious, it doesn't matter. Even a huge nerd with social anxiety issues will ask a girl out if he likes her and she's nice enough to give him the time of day. Happens all the time and unfortunately guess what? Most of the time the guy gets rejected because "she's out of his league". Sad day for all of you girls who just want a guy that will respect you and be nice to you.
I think it's easy for you to say but still difficult for the guy. If you are truly interested in a girl, you may really feel badly if you are rejected. The problem may be the reverse. Perhaps girls should do a better job of letting guys know that you are interested. It would help.
I agree with digital haze.. and I'll add that for guys like me.. It's not like we've got tons of girls wanting us.. so when we find one we like, I know that at least I'm scared she won't like me.. then I'm back to.. finding one I like again and that hopefully likes me.
But I'm one of those horribly shy guys that needs a lot of courage to approach a girl I find attractive. So that plays in to..
Well, I was never afraid of rejection, I usually expect it xD .. I mean, it could be a "yes" or a "no", so why do I have to be upset? In fact, I'm kind of reckless when it comes to approaching girls, I just say what's on my mind, if it worked then great, if it didn't then screw it. xD
Rejection is not to be taken lightly. It can damage our self-esteem and prevent us from asking anyone else out in the future, or at least for some time. If you think open yourself up more, and are friendly, then men around you won't feel so intimidated.
I'm not afraid of rejection. Its actually the way that a woman is going to reject me. No guy would ever ask out a kind of ugly girl instead of a beautiful woman. Guys will just ask out a woman that's a 6 when they feel like they can't get with a woman that's a 7-10.
I v never made advances 2 an ugly,y?because am nt attracted 2 her talk more of her rejecting me,but I rarely ask a beautiful girl out though am kinda scared of rejection,but they seem so nice when you re good looking mostly and being conversative,.same with some not quite ugly gurls...
1. I know this is cliche buy looks aren't everything. I would never ask a girl out if I'm not attracted to her in some way. 2. Rejection or being ignored really hurts. I don't usually show it but it really hurts on the inside. 3. I'm a logical person... If I find that a girl and I won't be compatible ie nothing in common, I'll avoid asking her out to save both of us the pain.
Guys minds are wired to value success and achievement. Besides the possibility of embarrassment, heartbreak, or disappointment, getting rejected is a failure to us. It means that there is something wrong with us that makes us undesirable.
Now besides that reason, the other ones I listed could also be factors to why a guy wouldn't approach. I could write seperate answers for each of them, but they are so common that we already know the details surrounding them.
You don't understand because you are not a guy. You don't walk around carrying the burden of having to be the initiator in all phases of relationships. You don't deal with the ridicule to which rejected men are subjected. Whereas a girl who is hurt will be comforted and helped up by her peers and parents, the same people will chuckle when a guy stumbles and then offer some choice advice like "man up" or "don't be such a p*ssy." Essentially, life is much more cruel to guys in the dating world. That's the hard part for us. The hard part for women comes later with child birth and motherhood. Dating for relatively attractive women, though, is comparatively easy.
First off, most girls I meet who describe themselves that way are neither - they are usually self-absorbed, obnoxious and picky. They p*ss and moan because their "ugly friend" got a guy that they wanted and tell themselves that he was just scared by her beauty. The truth is that "ugly friend" isn't ugly at all, and has a better personality to boot.
Fear? Yeah that's part of it. Why wouldn't it be? No one likes to be rejected, and when the odds are stacked totally against you it's even less fun.
Same reason women are. Why don't you go talk to the guy and open up first huh? Kinda a double standard bullsh*t if you ask me. You seemingly are asking/complaining about guys not asking you (or others) out because they're afraid of rejection yet I doubt you ever ask out a guy first. And I mean truly ask them out, not just hint at sh*t. I mean openly say "I wanna go out with you" or something.
If I'm wrong and you have, great, but this point is still valid to MANY women in the world. It's annoying as hell. Guys almost always have to be the first to open up their heart and feelings (and I mean truly open, not subtle sh*t that you girls THINK is open) and put it all on the line publicly to you or maybe others and then if we get rejected? Ya f*** that hurts. We deal with it, but it's not appealing.
It takes a toll on your self esteem and confidence. At a certain point your self esteem and confidence is so low that you are like "fuck it " I'm at the bottom now anyway so who cares if I get rejected one more time.
im going to stop answering these types of questions cause girls still don't understand how rejection from a girl that we want hurts so much I guess its just if a girl gets rejected by a guy she won't give a damn and a girl can just move on to the next guy
I'm not at all like that - for you see, I am out of their league.. Simple. I don't really think it's fear of rejecting, but more the fear of "she's hot, then she must have a boyfriend.. a boyfriend that will beat the sh*t out of me, if I flirt with his girl".
That's ludicrous, it isn't a "guy thing" plenty of girls date below their league. Being intimidated by super attractive people happens to me and I think if a guy has self-confidence issues your "get over it" attitude isn't going to do much.
If you like a guy who goes for girls less attractive than you and you think his only reason for not asking you is low self esteem then give the guy a break and ask him out.
For the same reason I am, because they've been rejected. It takes a toll after a while. And some people are really rude when they reject you men & women. I don't think those people have ever had to be rejected in their lives.
Sometimes girls are just like that too...asking out guys, that are ugly instead of the guy they are really into. Two of my friends are just like that - so annoying to listen to them complaining that the guy they are into doesn't make a move on them...well, if they don't even look at them, it's kinda hard for the guy to notice their interest :S
Just sayin' I have no idea, why people compensate like this.
to be honest I think people worry to much about this stuff after all everyone hates rejection but I don't think it has anything to do with being out of someones league. guys and girls are afraid of being rejected by the person they are into. after all when you like someone that's when it hurts and sucks not because there out of your league. and I don't think anyone would ask someone out if they weren't attracted to them.