Why do guys not have the balls to talk to a girl?

I know so many guys that don't have the balls to talk to a girl that they think is pretty or a girl they like... I don't understand. Why is that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a number of reasons. A lot of these reasons start out in high school and they can stick with us for life. Sometimes this is because there are situations in which such immature rules of conduct still apply. But for now, let's talk about high school.

    For one, high school guys have a much greater potential for being immature. Not all of them are but it can happen. They, like everyone else in high school, have a lot riding on what they think or fear people might say about them, what people might think about them. This in itself is intimidating. They fear rejection, or they fear the rep that comes with it, or the rep that comes with dating a certain girl. It's all a case of extremely petty politics.

    Another thing warding guys off is the pretty girls themselves. Face it, in high school, a lot of the prettiest girls out there also hole within them the capacity to be the biggest cunts on the planet. Again, not to say that they all are, but they could be. It's even worse if she's the kind of girl who is always hanging around a large group of pretty girls on mass. This sends the impression that in order to talk to you, they also have to deal with your friends. If any of your friends have reputation for being a cunt, you could easily be painted with the same brush and palate. Not to mention the nightmarish image of asking out a girl he likes and getting shot down in a cruel manner, only to have a peanut gallery of giggling girls giving you shit about it too.

    Then there's the guys who just plain give up ahead of time. They see a pretty girl and they think about how likely she is to being completely out of their league. Or maybe some guy is thinking that she wouldn't see anything in him, or think he's not handsome enough, or tall or pretty or muscular, or popular enough. Just in general thinking that she's too good for him, or just simply he's not good enough. Sometimes just skipping past all that and jumping right back to what was discussed in the previous paragraph, and assuming that she's so pretty that she's also probably a really shallow cunt, and therefor only after somebody who's a hot guy with a big dick.

    Again all of these are generalizations. Not all guys think this. Not all girls are like this. not all guys think girls are like this, but these are all possibilities, and a guy might possibly be affected by some of this baggage. This is the kind of shit that could potentially be effecting him, or running though his head be it something he came to on his own or something his asshole friends put in his head. Even more this is assuming that he's not just plain shy.

    Ultimately if you think there's somebody out there for you, and you have somebody in mind, you need to say something if he isn't. I'm not sure if you noticed yet, but the world is a lot more equal opportunity than it used to be. You don't need to wait for him to come to you, and court you like this was Jane Austen or some shit. You are well within your rights to make moves yourself.