Why do guys not have the balls to talk to a girl?

I know so many guys that don't have the balls to talk to a girl that they think is pretty or a girl they like... I don't understand. Why is that?


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What Girls Said 6

What Guys Said 31

  • same reason why girls don't make the first move. fear of rejection, pride, self esteem...the usual.

  • Why do guys have to make the first move? Women are perfectly capable of initiating a conversation. Besides, imagine how you would feel in their position. Most people would ASSUME the GUY is interested in the girl when they approach them for whatever reason. Because of that assumption it adds to the pressure of walking up to an attractive person and talking to them. It personally bothers me a bit as well, but sometimes you just got to make the first move. It's better than thinking "what if" later. It's better to think "well it was worth a shot anyway." :)

  • You probably make them nervous... I have had guys who didn't know how to act around me because they thought I was pretty... If you know a guy likes you or thinks you are pretty, and you kind of like him too, just go for it... Don't wait for him...

  • It's a little word called "rejection". The possibility of it can resonate so strongly, that you freeze up and have no idea how to talk to the girl, so you just let it go. It would help if the girl made it easier on the guy by showing some friendliness. Some girls don't help matters when they are so shy or uncomfortable they look like an ice princess that is unapproachable.

  • Well girls are pretty intimidating. I am a straight female, and I am even scared to walk up to most girls. We are constantly judging everyone, "Ew her hair is greasy" or "Gross he's burping his abc's" when your feelings are on the line, would you trust them with a girl?

    I certainly wouldn't. And even if you're a more laid back girl like me, some guys are just too shy, have been hurt in the past, or just aren't interested.

  • why don't you approach them instead since clearly you have the balls to do so

  • Selected as most helpful

    Much for the same reason girls don't have the ovaries to talk to a guy they like.

    Rejection is a possible reason, but I think the real reason is the social context.

    Think about it this way.

    A guy who approaches a girl to talk to her (could) be perceived as just trying to get laid. A girl who approaches a guy (in the name of possibility, COULD be perceived as just trying to get laid), but it is far less likely that everyone thinks that.


    Because guys have the well-established stereotype of wanting sex. Women have the well-established stereotype of wanting a relationship.

    Which is worse, or more immediately socially negative? Wanting sex? Or, wanting a relationship? (Think about it).

    The girl is simply at a better position to walk up to a guy and start talking to him, than a guy is.

    Many guy feel that if they walk up to a girl, they (the guy) come off and appear "desperate." And not "desperate" for a relationship, but desperate for sex (just by virtue of being a guy!)

    Girls feel like when they walk up to a guy, they (the girl) come off and appear "desperate." But not "desperate" for sex, but desperate for a relationship (oh! how shameful and embarrassing!)

  • It would have to be a confidence issue. Also, usually, the prettier a girl, the shyer the guy would be. So if a guy is checking a beautiful lady out and feels too shy to approach her, he might go for the girl on far right bar cause she's less pretty/less intimidating.

  • a beautiful girl hard to approach for men because in the ancient days, she is usually possessed by the leaders of the tribe. it will end up ugly if a regular dude tries to hit on her. now afraid of approaching a girl they like is simply because they are not confident and are afraid of rejections.

    it's pretty simple.

    • leader of the tribe? dude where do you get this garbage

    • pua stuff?:D

  • it is mostly because when guys see someone they think is pretty they think they probably have a man already or just because they¬®re to shy and don't know how to approach them girls.

  • It is mostly because of confidence. But sometimes it is because she is so dumb I would rather NOT talk to her. Remember...beauty only goes so far

  • The first thought that usually goes through a guy's mind if he sees a pretty girl is "there is no way that a girl that good looking does not already have a boyfriend / husband". So, he will write her off as taken and move on.

  • because we love our ego so much

  • because there are far too many cheap sluts like these, and you seem one of those


    why don't you grow the balls to approach the guy and be a real woman?

  • Jus depends on their age. If that are juniors and seniors in high school or already graduated they just wusses and afraid of rejection... how ever if theyre just a freshman or something they're probably just shy... most of em will grow out of it one day

  • coz they really don't wanna het rejected ANYMORE!

    n itz all about equality these days...if you girls have come ahead in all other things...why don't you step up when it comes to making d 1st move? why do you still wanna be approached?

    why don't YOU dare to speak to guys that you like?...dont you have balls?...ohh well, you don't have balls anyways!^!

  • I think the real question is, "Why don't girls have the courage to ask a boy they think is handsome or a boy they like, I don't understand. Why is that?" I'm directing this towards the question asker and anyone that might be offended by this. So no need for every girl to get upset at this.

    • Men should because we have to dominant which is masculine if girls do it they tend to be able to dominant the relationship more and control more of the direction it will go

    • Be that as it may(They like men as gentlemen) It doesn't necessarily mean a man is going to be polite when he asks you. A man who doesn't make the first move on a girl can still be plenty of a gentleman towards her.


      Men like women to be ladies and they could also use assurance in knowing she likes him.

    • Girls like a man to be a gentleman and to let her know he really likes her this makes a girl extatic from day 1

  • because they are only out

    for themsleves, but there's

    plenty of decent guys (like

    me) who have the balls to talk 2 a gurl

  • its not the balls cause geneticly they do

    but its the past prbly

    i know as a child I was hurt at a young age

    and it only got worse rejection after rejection from 1-11th (a horrible one in 9th)

    with no encourgnment I never saw the reason to improve on my self

    till I found it within and finally things got better right before I graduated

    but still to this day approaching a women is difficult cause I still have the memories

    and doubts

    there in the mind

    but girls could help

    i mean they have the power to take what they want, they could easilly say hey boy come with me

    and id say who me smile OK (:

    i think its sexist to think men shud do all the workd you shud look at my question haha

  • Mainly due to societal programming and the efforts to remove all elements of masculinity from our young boys and young men. You can see patterns of female behavior especially in the media. Women are being portrayed as the smart ones who solve problems, in commercials, movies, etc. You can also see it in schools, where little boys are told to raise their hands and ask for permission to speak, and not to fight back when bullied. Gym class has been reduced, even when it is well documented that physical activity if essential for the healthy development of young boys, girls' only programs established, we are taught to "value" women, I could go on for ages.

    Just read some of the articles I posted. Our feminized culture has lead to the destruction of confidence in men, to the point where they are even scared of women. We have feminism to thank for all that.

  • I don't do it because of a bad experiance that happend to me in High school. There was a girl I really liked for sometime I thought for a while how I would ask her out and I eventualy just said I need to quit thinking and just do it. So I told this girl how I felt and that I wanted to go out with her. She told me she would think about it and for me to wait on the football field at lunch and she would tell me her answer. I went there and waited and after a few minutes a guy showed up and told me that he was her boyfriend and that I needed to learn not to speak to his girl. I didn't know she had a boyfriend and I tried telling him this but a couple of his friends walked up and grabbed me and he started punching me until they threw me to the ground. When I got up one of them had a basketball in there hand and hit me in the face with it as hard as they could standing about a foot away. I tried getting up again and they hit me with the ball in the face again. This time I layed down and the guy kicked my arm and told me never to talk to his girlfriend again. When he was leaving I sat up and looked around and seen the girl was standing behind the bleechers the whole time watching and she was laughing about what they just did to me.

    I don't amny other people can say something like this happend to them and it bugs when people say things like grow a pair or man up.

    • 'Immature'? The hell? That's cruelty, plain and simple. She had no call to do that to you.

    • She was immature! thankfully you didn't go out with her, obviuiosly she wouldn't have known how to be a decent person to you. her boyfriend and his friends were crazy!

  • also just because guys have balls doesn't make them confedent or whatever

  • Balls come with age and experience. I wouldn't talk to an under 18 year old, unless I wanted to be like a cool older brother. But I would never be afraid to approach even a group of hot women. 21 and over of course.

  • Shyness and fear of rejection resulting in the feeling of humiliation. It REALLY hurts when you see a girl you're attracted to reject you, then go with some other guy standing right beside you. It KILLS confidence.

  • Fear, if not TERROR, of rejection is the only reason. No guy wants to approach a pretty girl, ask her out and have her, for example, laugh in his face.

  • because most times unless your obviously into the guy you shoot him down word gets around that, that always happens and people become afraid :)

  • Most guys get serious emotional damage at a young age. Their first crush at the tender age of 11 rejected them, then all their classmates laughed at them, then it happened again...

    As a girl, you probably can't understand what those early formative experiences are like for a guy. Girls are cruel growing up. Girls act soft and friendly and sweet... to certain people, the people they want to like them. But if your guy was just your average joe, he wasn't cool enough to be part of the "in" crowd, he probably got treated like dirt by the very same people who you were bffs with. Unless he was the king of his school growing up, he was probably taught by the school of hard knox that it is too risky to say anything.

    I wish they'd get over it, its not a healthy way to live, but it is still very common and I understand

    • Haha I've witnessed that a lot

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