We are both young, have two small children, and he recently lost his job. We are under a great deal of stress and he has struggled with depression for most of his adult life. I think that we have both handled his depression wrong and it has caused him to sink further and further into it. About 3 days ago, he said he was still in love with me but it was different and he didn't know if we could get it back but he wanted to try. This was immediately after another fight and he said all this after he "thought about things". The next morning I found out he lied to me about something trivial, confronted him, and we argued again. He basically begged me to think before I left him and I told him I wasn't sure how I felt yet so we would talk later that night. When we finally talked, he told me that he "thought about everything again" and realized he's not in love with me at all anymore and doesn't want to be with me. The things he says conflict each other though and so do his actions. Before this last week, he always told me he loved me, couldn't live without me, missed me, would get jealous, and went out of his way to do little sweet things to show his love. Even since he told me that he isn't, he still says that I'm the love of his life, his soulmate, and he'll never love anyone else and will probably never be with anyone else again. He's not just saying these things, but actually means them 100%. He's also adamant that he will never have another child because he wants me to be the only one who ever gave him children. He wanted to hold me the first night that he told me, but doesn't know why. When I ask why his actions and words show that he did still love me and point out that he suddenly decided he didn't out of he blue, he says he doesn't know why and "must have been confused". He's still in our home and we've agreed to wait to tell the kids so he's sleeping in our bedroom. I told him I would bring in the air mattress and one of us could sleep on it, but he said he doesn't think that's a good idea and we should just share the bed. He's invited me to spend time with him going to his poker night on Monday and going to a car show this weekend. I asked if he'd rather go alone and he said he wanted me to go and thought it would be good if I did. He's been incredibly unemotional and closed off with everyone for the last two months. He admitted he's been suicidal and told me that this was breaking his heart and he felt dead and empty because of it, but insists he doesn't love me so I don't understand why he admits to all these emotions that go hand in hand with love, but still thinks he isn't in love. He isn't happy, but its not just with me. He isn't happy at all. I want him to get help for his depression and I think he might, but in the mean time I don't know how to convince him to stay or if I should. Does it sound like the depression is making him think unclear and making it difficult for him to feel his love for me? Or is he really not anymore?
My husband is depressed and says he doesn't love me anymore. Could it be the depression talking?
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