Why don't you girls ever text us boys first?

I find that I have to always text first to start a conversation . Oh and I've been texting this girl for the past three weeks and I have texted her first for all this time.. But one evening, when I was asleep, she texted me first saying " hey (name)" . What does it mean when girls text first? Cause I was surprised the next day when I found out.

Oh and we flirt a lot.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If a guy and I have been talking for a while, I'll text him first. Or if we're just friends I'll text him whenever. Girls are always hesitant to text first because they don't wanna come off as needy/desperate. It might sound weird but that's how it is. When a guy initiates things like that, it shows that he's interested.

    If she texted you first, you clearly were on her mind and she wanted to talk to you. If you haven't texted her for a few days, she probably wanted to text you since you went kinda MIA without a reason (your reason being you wanted to see what she would do).

    With what you said to PhatPat, I wouldn't stop txtn her first just to test out and see what she does. There's really no need for a game like that. She might get the wrong idea and think that you're no longer interested. If you wanna text her, then do it. Don't wait it out and see what happens, if anything that's setting you back rather then moving you forward with her.

    If I was interested in a guy and he just didn't text me for like 6 days, I'd think something was up and start to get over him, but that's just me and every girl is different.

    • I totally agree with you! I hate the game playing :) if you like her text her, if you dont, then dont

What Girls Said 8

  • There ARE girls out there that text first (including myself). I think definitely if one person is initiating stuff more often than the other one, they like the other person more. It's good though that even though she's not initiating stuff, it sounds like she's still talking. And you guys flirting a lot is a great sign! If you want to test the waters, don't text her for a couple days and see if she sends you a text. If she does, then that definitely shows she's interested.

    • Yep that's what I'm doing right now. I haven't texted her for at least 6 days. Usually it's every other day

  • If anything, the only reason I can conceivably think of for not wanting to text first, is because they don't want to seem pushy, overeager, or annoying. I text when I feel like texting, and that includes texting first at least half of the time.

    I think a lot of girls think guys need to text THEM first, and show THEM interest first. Or the girl might text first, and then freak out when they don't get an answer back right away. Because 'the ball is in his court now', and not answering immediately must mean that he's clearly not as interested as she is. GIRLS ALSO OVERTHINK EVERYTHING.

    I don't like games like that. If you want to text me, then text me. If you don't, then don't. If I want to text you, I will, and if I don't, then I won't. I don't understand what's so complicated about that, haha.

  • we like it when guys text first. It shows they care.

  • deff a good sign if she texted you first!

  • I don't like texting boys first because I don't want to be annoying. I also want to see if the guy wants to talk to me enough to text me first. You could always just ask her why you have to text her first all the time.

    • Its not anoying please, after a while if we always text first we will think you aren't intreseted

  • i agree with most everyone else. If I am really interested I don't text first because I don't want to appear pushy or needy. Also, it makes us girls feel good when the guy text first. Now, after a period of time I will text first.

    And I'm sure seh text you, because clearly she is intersted. But the whole waiting 6 days, I would proably move on by then. I am not into game playing, because it shows a lack of maturity and it only causes more harm than good.

  • okay well to answer your first question

    girls don't text guys first either because

    A. they're busy with something

    B. they don't want to be clingy or annoying

    C. they're not interested

    or D. (which is more common - many of my friends do it) because they want to feel like they're in control of the relationship

    and your second question

    it means she was thinking of you and wanted to talk to you.


What Guys Said 1

  • social conditioning

    girls are taught tht its the guy who makes the first move in everything