Why do girls LIE and say they want a nice guy but then go with bad boy?

My question is not why girl prefer bad boy then nice guy.

but why they LIE about it... Why do they say they want nice guy?

i just feel like they have no self-respect, or no senses of honor

- You wanna go with the bad guy...that's alright..but why do you lie that you want a nice guy?

why don't you say the truth?

The reason I ask this question is because when I was a bad guy (didn't care about them, cheating, dumping etc..) they where all after me... Now that I want to be a good person for now a year that respect her, love her, take care of her and all the details...nothing happen and end up in the best friend zone like I never was before...

and more I desperately want to respect woman the more I look at life, my surrounding (sister, mother, friends, girlfriend) I am FORCED to realize the truth... Women are lead by only two thing : sexual attraction, emotional drama (with a small reconciliation that then become sexual and they don't even know it them self...so then I'm force to think : they are stupid if they lie that they want a nice guy... but then go with the bad guy that cheat on her. and don't even know herself...or just don't have any senses of respect for other person to lie in there face that way...

And there is a TON'S of nice guys! you are just not into them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some of us actually DO want the nice guy after realizing that the bad ones just aren't worth it.

    Sadly a lot of women don't know themselves, what they want or what they truly deserve.

    They lack self respect and allow themselves to fall into the trap of settling for less.

    Women are flawed, emotional creatures who, for the most part, barely understand themselves. Real women can appreciate a good guy, little girls take them for granted. And I'm talking about maturity levels not age.

    Nice guys don't get enough credit while bad guys run around doing whatever they want. Also nice guys are getting a bad rap because they bad boys figured out that pretending to be prince charming helps them take advantage of the "nice girls" who think they're avoiding the bad boy bullsh*t.

    Our society in many ways, puts down the nice guys as weak, sensitive, less than kind of guys which is far from reality in most cases. Nonetheless most nice guys get relagated to the friend zone while girls endlessly get their hearts broken by the bad boys.

    Nice guys can also accept some of the blame because most of them take it while lying down. I've known plenty of nice guys who never told me they had feelings for me until after I was engaged. Now that I left that asshole I've learned to keep mai eyes open for those good guys who aren't as bold for whatever reason. But a lot of girls slap these men into the friend zone because, like I did once upon a time, they overlook the signs that he could be more. Nice guys need to speak up.

    But this is just mai opinion...

    • P.s. Most females don't think they're lying when they say they want a nice guy. But a lot of them have ridiculous standards and would rather be with a jerk than be single for a while and wait for a nice guy. And some just have reeeeaally bad judgement.

    • Nice answer Thank you

What Girls Said 15

  • OK you're nice, what else are you?

    are you sexually attractive?
    are you fun?
    are you interesting?
    are you masculine?
    do you have a good personality?
    can you put it down in the bedroom?

    maybe when u were a bad boy you were more confident and dynamic, and less of a simpering sycophant.

  • i don't know, i don't. i like sweet, cute boys.

  • Girls say that they want a nice guy because they associate the "a**holes" with cheating and getting hurt. They go for the bad boys because they are confident. The saying, "nice guys finish last" has some truth to it. When a guy is "too nice" it translates to a girl that the guy is "too easy." Both men and women operate like this (girls, a must read is "Why Men Marry Bitches" its a book about why men are turned off by girls that are too nice.)

    Anyways, this is how you should think about it. Getting a girl's attention is a lot like playing with a cat and cat toy. If you are teasing the cat letting them catch the toy for a second then pulling it away quickly the cat is interested and excited for the chase. But then once you let the cat have the toy fully and you are not pulling in away, they quickly get bored with the toy and walk away to find something else to play with.

    This is human nature. We want what we can't have. Everyone is like this, I don't care how much you disagree and say "Im not like that at all, I don't play games." Yes you do. If you got too comfortable in a relationship where you had everything you have ever wanted from a person for too long, it would be a matter of time before you would feel like something is missing and you would get bored. This is how the human mind operates.

    Dolly Parton was once asked, "what makes a successful relationship?" she said, "its give and take. As soon as I can tell that my hubbie is getting too comfortable with me I will pull back and ruffle his feathers a bit."

    Bottom line, the best things in life are the things you have to WORK to get. The things that you need to dedicate time and effort into and that applies to relationships to. Women fall in love with men that challenge them not men that hand them whatever you want.

    All this doesn't mean you can't "be yourself" or "let your feelings go" the key is time. Loosen up to the girl slowly. Give her what she wants over time. Even if all you want to do is give her what she is looking for don't do it. In the end, the resistance and fire under her butt is what she was looking for the whole time. If things get too comfortable with a girl then pull back. It doesn't have to be dramatic, just enough so that she is reminded once in a while what a catch you really are.

    Being too nice means a girl gets whatever she wants without trying and when that happens the girl doesn't value what she receives. When you have to work for it you value it more. Girls date guys that don't let them have whatever they want without a little effort. So what you see is a girl dating an a**hole but really its a girl dating a guy that won't let her walk all over him and give her wants she wants without a little effort. Not giving a girl want she wants may seem like an a**hole move to you, but really it's what the girls wants and what she will stick around for.

  • OMG. This is one of the most asked questions on this site. It gets asked over and over.

    We want a nice guy that turns us on. It just so happens that usually the "bad boys" usually have better knowledge of how to turn a girl on.

    Guys just have to strike a balance. You can still treat a girl with respect, but turn her on.

    It's like how guys want "a lady in the street and a freak in the bed." We want a gentleman... who knows what to do with his woman in the bedroom.

    • Yeah but how do you proof her your good in bed

      when she put you in the friendzone because your "so nice" ? dummie

    • Show All
    • Girls don't want niceness, regardless of your personal definition.

      Basically, what you're saying is that girls are shallow. To that, I wholly agree.

    • Ha. If physical attraction being important makes someone shallow, then I guess we live in a shallow world. Learn to deal.

  • We lie without realizing we do. we have this fantisy in our heads of this swet, caring, manly guy that will never leave our side and always be there for us. but that's not reality. when a guy is mean to us, we think he is trying to show off. and we dig it. and when a guy is nice to us, we think that we are in the friend zone with them. so we don't try to go for them and then we loose interest with them because we think they don't like us. and the players. we want to change them. we want a guy that will show us off and introduce us to his buddies and bragg. but also be nice.

  • I am looking for a nice man. I want him to be a good boy win he is with me and not with me. Respects me enough to understand that I have a little wild side to and that he can be bad but at the right time. Its sexy if a guy can treat me right and all the good stuff but can still go out have fun and be bad win its appropriate and knowing I’m safe with him.

    • You have to find the balance between the two because that will kip things interesting and fun win you find the right girl

    • Show All
    • well said; can't be nice ALL the time!

    • Thanks my bad boy turned out to be the best husband I could ask for

  • Girls want a good guy. Good guys have this thing called a personality, which nice guys lack.

    And nice guys tend to just be entitled idiots who are ugly in terms of looks.

  • So it never crossed your mind that you need more traits than just being nice? You know who's also nice to me? My friends, my father, my mother, my family, my teacher, and little children. Should I date them just because they're nice to me? What makes you a special snowflake? The real question is: Are you fun to be around?

  • We don't lie and we don't pefer that. Its the chase that pulls us in. Being so wanted. And sometimes danger is really fun and sexy. And we feel protected and safe. Also the only nice guys I've ever known were not physically my type and I'm done with getting my heart broken so I'm gonna stay single till I feel like someones worh it. Like you said "there is a TON'S of nice guys! you are just not into them." it can go both ways. There are plenty of girls that want a nice boy

  • That's not always true, I feel like you're making generalizations here. It's usually the girls who have low self esteem that go for the bad boys because they don't feel they deserve better. And they don't stand up for themselves when they get treated like sh*t. I genuinely want a nice guy who respects me and treats me right. And that's who I went after. My boyfriend is a great guy, he always was, and we've been together for years. And before him I always dated nice guys too.

    Maybe some girls like bad boys because they appear confident and sexy and fun. But really. What's the point if they're gona treat you like sh*t. Ulness you're just looking for a hookup.

    Its not really fair for you to assume that all women are stupid and shallow and want to be treated badly. And that all we want is sexual attraction and emotional drama. Maybe that's your personal experience, but it does not apply to all of us.

  • We don't lie. The 'nice' guys are completely incompetent and at one point, we give up on the just 'nice' guys.

  • Because they're jearky...probably that's the case.

  • Why do men assume women only like jerks & call us liars when we say we don't?

  • I believe as woman we fall on the trap of sometimesbelieveing the guy we are dating is a good guy. But we REALLY DO WANT NICE GUYS to approach us.


What Guys Said 3

  • "nice" is a side dish at the dinner table , the controller to the game system, an accent piece of furniture, a co-star to the superstar, the awesome looking case for the cell phone, the icing on the cake.

    But damn it, that niceness needs SOMETHING to compliment!

    To be blunt, being "nice" is useless on it's own in terms of attracting females!

  • I think a lot of nice guys also hear what they want to hear. A girl will usually say that she wants a guy with confidence who is sure of himself and who will take care of her and all they hear is take care of her, it's absolutely fine to be "nice" to women and I am really nice to the girls I'm dating but you need all the other things women say as well. In fact the more I listen to women the more I agree with them, it's just that you have to know how to understand what they are saying.

    Also there are a few feminatzi/bitches out there that just want to f*** guys up, so they will bullsh*t when secretly they probably want a guy to dominate them more than other more balanced girls but just won't admit to it, but it's up to the guys to choose who they take advice from. Just people giving advice in general, men or women, there are going to be a huge number of people who are full of sh*t, don't know any better or are just in it for their own interest

    • He?s so right we do want all that but don?t be too cocky it will push her away like I said find that balance between good boy and bad boy ;)