Is my boss flirting with me?

[seafoamgreeneyes]

OK here's the deal; my boss is married with two kids. He's 37 but very young at heart, funny, energetic and cute. BUT he is my boss and I have a professional and moral obligation. I will admit that I'm flattered by his attention and do enjoy a little causal flirting, however neither of us can afford to cross any lines.

Since I got the job, I've noticed that he is very friendly with everyone but seems to treat me different. I can do no wrong in his eyes, he's excited by everything I do and says things like "I love that." about this or that. If I'm alone at my station he'll come over and talk to me quietly, leaning in towards me. His look is very telling too; he gives me the sideways glance, with relaxed eyes. He described me as princess like, and has commented on what I was wearing more than once. He always lets me know if I look good.

I've noticed that he seems to touch me every chance he gets. Little stuff, like lightly touching my arm or putting his hand on my back, or casual things like bumping fists. I think he's starting to get more daring. The other day he brushed his fingers against my knee while we were both crouching to look at a painting he had on the floor. And 'accidentally' bumped into me from behind while I was working at my station and I could have sworn I felt him lightly touch my butt.

If its just innocent and a reflection that he likes me then I can accept that. But if you guys think he's just building to pull a move on me, well I'd rather keep my job and my dignity. Job more than dignity.

[PhatPat]

Oh yeah, he's definitely flirting with you - not just because of the body language, the things he says or the actual touching...but the fact that you're asking the question is your subconscious confirmation of what's going on.

Definitely, this is a scary situation; you have a lot of factors mixed in: work, a marriage and your conscience. If he's touching you and he's made comments on what you're wearing, then it's already heading towards him making a move on you girl. And if you've done some light flirting back (which I totally get, I do it too, lol), then that's just going to give him more encouragement towards making a full move on you. Yeah, you need to stop it in it's tracks honey, cause it's just headed towards more intensity. If you aren't comfortable being REALLY straight out and telling him that you have to back off, just start mentioning "a new boyfriend" and start backing off (not flirting so much; being polite, but don't give huge reactions to his flirting, etc). He'll get the hint.

[seafoamgreeneyes]

Thanks! I think that's just what I needed to hear!

[coolbreeze]

From what you described it seems like he is flirting with you and that he does like you. The only problem is what would you do if he tries to make a move on you like kiss you or something like that. I think you are doing a good job by keeping the relationship professional. And it's not like your bothering him. You are working and he is coming over to you to get your attention.

[seafoamgreeneyes]

It's starting to get weird, the other day he shared his lunch with me. He gave me an apple and sat down and talked to me about how busy he is and how exhausted he is. This was before thanksgiving. I got the impression that he wasn't looking forward to the holiday.

Our company party is coming up and it's at a fancy restaurant with an open bar and drivers to take us home. Seriously considering talking one of my gays into playing straight boyfriend for one night. :/ Our a **** blocking GF

[coolbreeze]

Yeah he still is fliritng with you with the old lunch routine.That is weird and random it wasn't like you invited him over to eat lunch with you. You know what it is maybe he is not happy with his family life but that's not your fault or problem. I think that is a good idea bringing one of your friends out to play boyfriend. Because normally when peopel get drunk at parties things can get a little crazy sometimes. Let me knows what happens at the party. Hopefully he won't try anything.

[seafoamgreeneyes]

Hey, thought I might give you an update. The holiday party was fun. He didn't try anything but he was in good spirits and immediately said he loved my hair and my dress. But his wife was next to him the entire night, so there was no flirting but lots and lots of drinking. Lately he has been much too busy to talk to me so I just keep to myself and work hard. Occasionally he'll say something weird, like last week after I worked late he asked if I needed help getting home, and that he had a horse.

[coolbreeze]

That's good that he didn't make a move on you at the party. And I'm glad to hear that he has been to busy to talk to you. But that last comment is so random and weird. Do you drive to work? Why we would he offer you a ride? Also that last part with the horse comment. Yo uknow what he meant by that. Hopefully he won't start getting more aggressive with his random phrases. How did you feel whe nhe said that last comment to you? And di you just leave after he said that?

[seafoamgreeneyes]

I knew he was kidding, but to humor him; I asked if he really had a horse. I grew up with a horse and mentioned it, figured childhood was a safe zone. His eyes lit up and asked if I rode, then smiled and said he could imagine me on a horse. I gave the acceptable amount of non-suck-up laughter and then pulled an "omg is that the time? I have to go." He's not in the danger zone yet, but I have a feeling he's waiting for the right opportunity.

[coolbreeze]

Keep me posted. That's good that you played the situation cool and also that was good that you changed the conversation a little. I agree he is just waiting for the right opportunity. But I agree he is not in the danger zone yet. I liked how you changed topic and got out of the situation quick. I think the big thing here is when somebody flirts and how far they take the flirting.

[Anonymous]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... This guy has been in the dangerous zone for a long time. He's a creep and you should definitely report him to HR.

[Anonymous]

Totally have this same problem, trust me when I say this, don't let it go on if you don't want him to make a move because he will.

[Anonymous]

Very much so