I don't know why she changed suddenly?

[Anonymous]

Met a girl and thought she was great. Will keep this factual. It lasted 3/4 dates only. First was great, we had everything in common and talked until the barmen was clearing up, its the only time I thought I connected with someone. 2 days later (Thursday) we met for dinner, this time there was more touching, more relaxed, better conversation, lots of great eye contact and what I thought was chemistry. She told me that she had been talking about me to her friends and asked me out again the following night to meet her friends for food, I agreed as I liked her and thought that was a sign that she felt the same. The next night was also great, met her friends and got on really well. There was lots of touching from her in front of her friends and even the odd kiss. After, we went for some drinks alone. She told me that no one had ever treated her so well and that she was excited about our dates. She said that when talking to her friends about me, they had said to her that they were surprised because they had never seen her so excited about seeing someone. She said that her friends thought I would fit in well and this made her happy. Honestly all of this was coming from her. She asked me why I hadn't properly kissed her yet and then we kissed. We both agreed that it was all good, we talked about spending the night together but both thought it was best to take our time. She then asked me out again; to come to her house for dinner in two days, her brothers will be there but no parents, again I agree. We both go home, I text her goodnight which she replies 'thinking of you, looking forward to our 4th date, although would rather now refer to them as meetings between two people that care for each other, is that strange?' I reply 'of course not'. Its now 2am ish sat morning (just after that last text) and she then posts on her FB wall that she is 'smitten as a kitten'. OMG I feel for the first time ever that this might work! The next day I speak with her on the phone and late that night she sends me a kiss. Sunday as planned I go to see her at parents house, but this time she's so different. Doesn't really want to talk to me or touch me and I get the idea that she didn't want me there. I leave early knowing there's something wrong and later she tells me she's confused about what she wants. Don't hear anything for another 15hrs when she tells me this is not what she wants, I ask for an explanation because as you can see I'm very confused considering the apparent feelings between us and what she said to me on last date! She bluntly tells me there's no chemistry and that's it. I'm really not a fool and have been around and I know how it felt. Honestly all the stuff she said sounded genuine, everything was so good, her body language, subconscious things like touching and what she was saying, asking me out again to meet her friends! Why has she changed her mind so suddenly? Hows it gone from saying and acting like that to nothing? Is this weird or is it me?!

[confusedinD]

Don't take it personally. We women can be so fickle and over play a scenario in our head until we strangle the very life out of it. It sounds like this girl is really confused and probably freaked herself out for liking you so much. That... or there was someone else she had her eye on that suddenly came around.
Either way, it sounds like the chemistry between you two was great but she isn't in a place to be with anyone. If you see her again on the street, be kind. You never know what the future holds and if it was meant to be then let it happen organically over time. Take someone else out, someone who deserves your time and attention :)

[Asker]

Thank you! Is just so weird you know. It all felt so good, and normally when things don't work out you can usally look back and say that there was nothing really there so OK. But this was so different and I can't do that. Answer another question for me please? Would she ask me out to meet her friends, openly admit that she had been talking to me to her friends and they were excited for her and tell me that she cared about me if they was nothing there? Is that possible? Thanks!

[SavingHer]

The only way you'd find out is if you ask her why the change. According to what you said you had already done that. She gave you her answer that there isn't anymore chemistry. Why did she change? I have no idea. Maybe her parents said something to her about you. Maybe someone else sparked her interest and she wants to move on but is not telling you that part. There could be lots of reasons. Maybe she just lead you on and dumped you. Maybe it raises her self esteem knowing that she can get guys and do this to them. You can either keep bugging her about it or just forget about it and move on.

[confusedinD]

I agree with the above. There are a million reasons why she could have changed her mind. She introduced you to her friends and family which is a huge step...maybe too huge too fast? I'm sure not knowing why she changed her mind is killing you but the best thing I can say is let go and let live. She was absolutely into you. There was absolutely potential. But my hat's off to the girl though for stating what she wanted and needed and NOT stringing you along in the process.

[SavingHer]

Thank you, confusedinD! <3.

[Asker]

Hey thanks again confusedinD, you're right and I have moved on, however its still confusing and a bit sad because I see it as a wasted opportunity, like you said there was clear potential there. Also, again like you said, I should be gratefull that she didn't string me along, but it doesn't make it any easier trying to understand why she ended it when it was so good. Beacuse I'm like, what the hell has happend for you to change, and why would you end something when it was that good? Thanks again!