If a guy approached you randomly in public? Do any other guys (or even girls) think the same way I do about this situation?

[Anonymous]

OK as we all know most girls always want the guy to make the first move. No matter how much the girl likes the guy, whether she has just met him and thinks he's hot or whether she's known him for a while now, she will still never make the first move unless the guy was completely shy and had no idea the girl liked him at all.

But one thing has crossed my mind when you're approaching someone you have never met before in your life. If a girl was to approach me randomly, whether in a bar or a mall or a coffee shop or book shop or train station etc, I would think ''damn she's confident enough to approach a guy''. And that would just make me think that if she's confident enough to approach me first in a world where guys are expected to make the first move, she's probably confident enough to approach any guy she wants, thus making me just one of many guys she has approached in her life.

Don't get me wrong, I would feel flattered because she actually was brave enough to approach the guy first. And I agree if you think I'm a hypocrite for thinking like this, I think way too much about situations.

Do any of you guys ever think like this? Whether or not you have been approached by a girl.

And do you girls ever think like this if a guy approached you randomly in public?

[TaurusFemmeFatale]

Here is the biggest misconception men have about feminism. Feminism applies to political and economic equal rights bewtween men and women. Feminism has very little to do with dating practices. Most women (successful, confident, or not) would still prefer to be wooed or courted. It makes us feel sexy and appreciated. I will give you an example:



I went out with this guy a few years back. I attempted to contact him when I visited his hometown. I initiated the date. Although he kept telling me how attractive I was and enjoyed being in my company, I didn't believe it. He seemed rather cold, distant, and not very affectionate. See men, we take your shyness as "Not interested.' We take your introversion as 'Not interested.' We take your lack of affection as 'Not interested.' He called me and asked why didn't I keep in contact with him, and my response was, "I didn't think you were interested.'

Therefore he remained in the friendship category. I was no longer interested.

Here is another example. I went out on a date with a man back in my twenties. He asked me out. He wasn't really my type. What drew me to him? As corny and cheesy as this may sound, his PDA's and the way he looked at me was addictive! Right then he sealed my confirmation on where he wanted to stand with me. Men, women are not mind readers. We need proof that you're really into us. No one wants to feel as if their object of affection doesn't desire them in return. Asking us out and being affectionate with us gives us confirmation!

-I hope this helps!

[vmw2008]

I heard a saying once that men want to feel as if he's only one of few to GET a woman's attention, and women want to fee as if she's only of a few to KEEP a man's attention. Men look for situations in which a woman may have handed out her attention to other men. Which is why you feel this way when a woman approaches, or when you find out she's had too many sex partners. It's unattractive to you. Women are not so concerned with who you give your initial attraction to. We expect that you're going for whoever you find physically attractive. What we want is to keep you attention when other girls couldn't.

That's why we like it when men approach us. We don't think less of you, we expect it as a male trait. It seems masculine to us. When women approach a man, sure it makes it easier on you at first, but then things wander through your head that makes you question our worth. Since women don't typically do the approaching, it makes you wonder if we're desperate, or if you're just one of the many men we go after. That's the main difference I see when it comes to whether men or women do the approaching. Women will hardly ever think less of a man just for approaching as it is expected. But some men will think less and some men won't. The odds aren't great for us. So in our minds, it's better to not take the chance of looking bad at all by not approaching.