Crush on exchange student?

[Anonymous]

Last year, there was an exchange student in my class, I already kinda liked her since we met, but the last two months of the school year I did a project with her and two other guys, and I got a crush on her. I went out with her once, not as a date, but at her birthday party, just to a club with some of her friends.

at first it wasn't so bad, but now I think about her the all the time, it distracts me from the things I'm doing, keeps me up at night...

also she's a bit older than I am, she went back home 6 months ago so she's on the other side of the world now.

i recently told her how I feel through msn, she responded very nice, as she always does, just trying to help me, telling me I should find someone in my country... and a few days ago, we were just talking, and I ended up kinda pouring my heart, telling her exactly what I feel, think and do cause of my crush on her. again, she was very nice and helpful, I kept bothering her with all my problems from late in the evening till a few hours after dawn(it ended up really late in the night for her due timezones, and she says I don't really bother her with my problems). we both figured we'll just be friends, and so far that's working out fine, but I still think about her all the time, did I act properly by telling her everything I told her? and how do I get over her?

[byen616]

Bro, that's rough. I've definitely been there a few times. It doesn't matter if the girl is from another country or just a different part of town. When you have a crush, it's like you have almost no control over where your mind goes. And when it wanders, your emotions go right along with it.

There's no sure-fire way to "get over" your crush. It won't happen until your subconscious accepts the fact that this girl is just a friend and you move on to other girls. This is not easy, believe me. Lots of people say it takes time, but honestly, that feels like it only helps if you can predict exactly how many minutes.

Good news is, there's LOTS you can do to help speed up this process. The biggest thing is to give your mind lots of other things to think about. When we have have a crush, we tend to mentally fixate on that person. That's why it's so easy to know a lot about them. So get out there and socialize. I don't mean just hit on other girls (though that kinda helps too) but seriously focus on having fun with other people in your life. Be SOCIAL. Take a sincere renewed interest in what's going on with people you care about. And, if you're not the shy type, make the time to meet new people. Whether through work, school clubs, volunteering, etc. Every person we meet has something interesting about them and I've found it helps me keep perspective in my life.

One word of caution, it sounds like this girl is very nice and kind. Though it's not a bad thing that you talked so openly with her, it's probably not a good habit to talk to girls you like to that degree so early in the friendship. Yes, it's good for people to communicate. However, she is not your emotional dumping ground. Women, in general, appreciate a man of strength, both physical and mental. That does NOT mean to clam up, either. Learning the proper level of communication is a life skill. Since she is open to talking with you over MSN, make the most of it.

I hope this helps you out in some way. Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

thanks for your answer. about the socializing, I really am a shy person, for me it seems like an impossible thing to just walk up to a stranger and start a conversation, though I have friends who can talk to anyone as if they've been friends for ever. and about using her as "an emotional dumping ground" I really don't want that, she actually said she kinda liked it:S not sure what that means:S but I also have plenty of normal conversations with her.

[byen616]

All of us have to "find our groove" so to speak when it comes to socializing. You can't go from being shy to being like your friends in one leap. Start small and just say hi to a few strangers that you happen to make eye contact. Or wish someone, "have a good day" and mean it. Being social isn't difficult, but it can take time as we build our self-confidence. It's all part of growing up and figuring out who we are.

[Shutupdude]

Ok, so this is not really recent anymore since your post is 1 year ago. I am kinda in a same situation such as you and i am on the search for answers by myself. The roles are just kinda reversed in my case.
I am an exchange student and i met that girl like 2 months ago. We went to prom and she is so incredibly cool and i actually like her. However, i will leave in a couple of weeks and like I seriously don‘t know how to handle the whole situation and if I should even really tell her how i feel about her.

However, now about you. I don‘t really know what to do but I guess the best thing is to stay in contact even though that is not really helpful to loose your interest in her but I would be really unhappy if I wouldn‘t talke to her anymore after my stay in the US. You could visit her in her native Country or something so she can show you her culture and the style of living overseas. It is a great experience to see new things.
I don't know I can‘t really help you, i tried the best! You got that tho bro!

[royal_emerald88]

You did what you felt was right, you followed your heart...at least now you have no regrets because you told her how you feel. I went through the same situation with a crush, it took ages to get over him but I did...I still think fo him sometimes but it's fine. My tip for you would be not to force yourself to forget her/ get over her but to accept your feelings and tell yourself it will be ok...over time it will be OK! Do things which will make you happy, focus on you, get your life to where you want it to be...speak with good friends and make time for the people you care about in your life! Enjoy life, socialise with your friends and meet new people and new girls too. You can do this! Good luck :)!

[Anonymous]

You did do the right thing. You told her how you felt and got in off your chest

[Anonymous]

Accents are hot