Hi, Anonymous --
First, let's get two separate concepts straight -- first, the appropriateness of dating a family member, and the second is attraction between people.
As to the second, whether the person is your sister, your friend, your cousin, or of no relation -- male or female, attraction is biological and is not something you can control. There is no shame in being attracted. After all, thousands of years ago, the Oedipus story was written about just this topic (son and his mother). To wit, don't tear yourself apart...nor she.
As to the first, that's harder. Someone answered that it is a cultural thing. I suppose to extent, that is true. Many royal bloodlines were interbred, and cousins and even siblings were mixed together. In the US, the law forbids (incest) the marriage or relations of anything closer than 2nd cousins, so techincally, you are not breaking any laws. A second cousin is not that close in the tree.
Interestingly, most states consider relations between a parent and his/her step-children to be incest, even though there is no blood relations. An interesting legal fiction.
However, the final take away is this -- you both need to be frank and open and of course decide for yourselves. In the end, no one outside your immediate family will know, and no laws are broken. Even church law permitts 2nd cousin and beyond -- so God will overlook it (laughing).
Good luck!
Sean
Depends on what state you live in. Different states draw the line at different levels of relatedness.
Whether it's wrong or not depends entirely on your local culture. In some areas it's not that big of a deal, simply because the population density is very low, and the chances of distant relation with people in the area are higher.
Lol I had a major crush on my first cousin for a long time.
Its fine to have a crush on your cousin... its probably someone you don't see too often who finds their way into your close social circle.
I wouldn't date him/her just because of a crush tho. Make sure its some really serious feelings before considering that route. It will come with a lot of judgements and bad attitudes.
dating your first cousin is not even considered incest in most places, its only some states in America and I don't know were else.. Where I'm from first cousins can actually get married! so dating your 2nd cousin would not be a problem, believe me... but people could be mean and judge you guys always depending on where you're from.
attraction is attraction... so there's that. I'm guessing its safe to date second cousins, but that could bring some awkwardness to family gatherings. But otherwise, as long as you don't broadcast that your dating your second cousin, it should be fine.
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I find it weird to date 3rd cousins. If you want to try something with cousins, date down farther like 5th cousins.
well, you have your cousins and THEN you have your second cousins...
okay Karen Smith.
Yea, your family will think your disgusting.
yea, and it' unhealthy
Not a good thing
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