Is it wrong to flirt with a married man?

Question

My brothers best friend and I recently met a few months ago. I'm 18 and he's 30. We're both attracted to each other but he's married and I would never date him.I just really enjoy talking to him he's very charming,cute and funny. We chat on MSN and over the phone ocassionally and flirt and talk about his bad relationship with his wife and my bad luck with men. Of course my brother doesn't know about this,he'd totally freak out! Anyway, I know he's off limits and we can never be more than friends while he's married. Even so, Is it still a bad thing that we flirt with eachother?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I know you are 18 so you may or may not be thinking about this but imagine you are married in 10yrs and your husband is doing with an 18yr old what you are doing with this guy.  Would it be OK with you?  I actually DO NOT think its bad to flirt with a married man however it seems you have already crossed the line of flirting.  Your question should be should you continue a developing RELATIONSHIP with a married man? fyi, men that are trying to sell you on sleeping with them always tell you how bad the relationship they are in is, its obviously not bad enough for him to leave her and trust me that a bad marriage never gets there just because of her. I am not married so this is not a biased woman's response, just someone that believes in karma.  His next move is going to be for you two to meet up somewhere that no one will see you and he will try in some way to spend money on you for you to get a taste of dating a man that is established and has money cause he knows that's what 18yr old men can't offer you.  You need to end it now because married or not you are still a woman and eventually despite what you say you will catch more feelings that you already have.  You started your details saying you'd never date him and ended saying you can't be more than friends as long as he is married, implying that if he wasn't you would date him.  Good luck

TheCheshireCat · Accepted Answer

I believe it is wrong.  There is really no reason to flirt unless you have intentions of going out with them & of course you can't go out with him, that is just cruel.  Also, if there is an attraction there, you need to respect his wife by backing away from him.  You don't want to build a stronger attraction, you wouldn't like it if someone was doing this with your husband.  If he is talking about his bad relationship with his wife, he may start to lose feelings for her & devleop them for you.  Do you really want to cause the end of marriage?  This can only lead to something bad, & he sounds like a jerk anyway by flirting with a girl whose 10 years younger than he is.  I say find another guy to flirt with, or try getting over your flirtatious nature.

TheoryOfAvarice · Accepted Answer

Yeah, that's not exactly the best thing to do. I mean you're just tempting him and stuff. It's no wonder you have bad luck with men... like I'm sorry but come on. There's got to be a lot of better ways to spend your time than hit on a man who has a wife.

beltshumeltz · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's a bad thing. Because you will hurt YOURSELF if you go further.

1- He won't leave his wife.

2- Even if he says he did, which he won't, all it would do is get you in a relationship where you'd have no confidence that he is loyal to you given that he left his wife for you

3- More than likely, his wife would still be around somehow. He might have to pay child support, or merely a fee for a dependant (as some do in my country)

4- You are very young and therefore very attractive to him, especially since you haven't yet been used by men often enough to develop "defenses" for it. So you are vulnerable. He might be able to easily use you, convince you that he likes you, get you to like him back...

Either way it's headed toward real trouble! Do yourself a favor, and never ever talk to him again. Your only message to him, with no reply if he responds, should be: I think what we're doing is asking for trouble... I would prefer if we did not talk again. Good bye."

PS - A more simple answer would be:

1- It is wrong FOR A MARRIED MAN to flirt with you

and

2- It is HARMFUL FOR YOU to flirt with him.

Asailum · Accepted Answer

"good" "bad" "right" "wrong" are all just subjective opinions based on one person to the next. How is flirting with anyone bad? Its the most honest reaction from the animal within, you genuinly like each other so who cares what anyone else thinks. You gotta worry about what YOU want from the relationship, not other peoples petty opinions. Do you think you might end up wanting this guy all for yourself? cause if so, you should back out now since your on an uphill battle. Like I said "right" and "wrong" are irrelevant because no on here knows you, that guys wife, or him so how can anyone make a moral opinion based off the surface level? Maybe she treats him like sh*t and he likes your company more than hers? Maybe she's a saint and you just want to sleep with him? I'm not making accusations just showing all the possibilities out there

islands7 · Answer

Flirting is like dancing.

It doesn't usually wind up in bed, it makes everyone (but the jealous types) feel good and less lonely.

Yes, even this innocent social behavior can be put to the devil's use but it takes two to tango and you already said you don't wish to tango and if things got out of hand, your brother would take your no-tango side.

What a heated discussion over "best answer" - WOW

Many times "best answer" is only the answer the questioner wanted to hear but why such polarization, emotions, foul words? yikes

awaken03 · Answer

My take on your situation is this being friends with the guy is OK, but the flirting part is bad..you already know he is having issue with the wife you

better backoff not because you have to but because that's the right thing to do..I had a close friend that I got fustrated with before..she fell for the same

description the married guy is..charming has good looks and has stable business..but it turns out the guys a total jerk she was used and abused went to to crying out after all this time I didn't knew I loved her well that's another story..it's probably OK to keep the friendship knowing your limits also..You felt the attraction because he has your ideal qualities in a man..your still young you can find someone with the same traits and even better..

Anonymous · Answer

GROW UP! you must be one of those girls who barely gets attention from normal guys so when some 30 year old married douche starts putting the moves on you, you get overly excited  because you're not used to the attention. stop being selfish and think about what's right and wrong here. obviously you know flirting with a MARRIED MAN is wrong or else you wouldn't have questioned it. when you finally get a man you wouldn't want someone to do that to you

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. I honestly don't think married men should be talking to single women unless it is for work or a family friend etc. and they definitely should not be chatting and flirting over the internet. Married men are clearly off limits. Even if their marriage sucks, imagine being in his wife's shoes and finding out he's flirting with some girl he would have been in jail for pursuing in the very recent past.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it's an immoral thing to do on both parts because he is married.What if one day he decides he wants to take it further? You would have helped provoke him to feeling that way. I believe in respecting the institution of marriage.Maybe the both of you should consider doing that as well.

BlackSuperman · Answer

damn right it is wrong to do that... someday you'll be married- would you want some 18 y/o girl flirting with your husband?

wowits2011 · Answer

well yes it is wrong..if a 30 year old married man is willing to flirt with an 18 year old women while he is married..then he clearly isn't a man worth persuing at all.. but that's just my opinion :)

togocurian · Answer

Yes it is wrong. While you may feel like it's harmless, you are making him want to cheat on his wife. This is not good. Don't encourage him to screw up his marriage.

confused_gal · Answer

i don't kniow about "right " "wrong"... but you shudnt do it cause he is married and has a family. you don't want to be the homebreaker here. and what goes around comes around...

slimcali · Answer

Think about it this way...is this flirting affair worth jeopardizing a marriage and your relationship with your brother?...

girlswantloving · Answer

I personally say that its not a bad thing but that's because I have flirted with my best friends boyfriend before. I regret it but if its never going to be anything more that talking about it I think its fine. as long as he knows that you want nothing to become of it, its fine.

M_A_X · Answer

Yes, it is wrong, because cheating is wrong. It's not fair to anyone involved, and I make my judgments on wrong and right based on what's fair.

Anonymous · Answer

if you were married...forget married when you have a boyfriend do you like other girls flirting with him or him flirting with other girls...i don't thin so...even if nothing is going to happen or is happening...thats not a good feeling and its worse when your married STOP flirting with a married man and find someone your own age stop being a home wrecker he's not gonna leave his wife for some 18 year old girl...be real.

hillary24368343 · Answer

Yes.  How would you feel if you were in marriend and your husband was flirting with someone else?

iceberg · Answer

u bad! he bad! probably deserve each other. Could always give him a bit and then blackmail him...no, please don't grow a conscience now babygirl! lol

curiouschica · Answer

What do you think?  You must have an idea it's wrong if are asking!

Anonymous · Answer

i think you already know the answer to your question, but yes I would say that it is wrong for you to flirt with a married or involved man

malekoniky · Answer

It is bad! Not subjective at all. It is wrong and it will end bad!

keerthiiix3 · Answer

yes, it's a bad thing that you flirt with a 30 year old married man. have some sense!

xXSugarshacKXx · Answer

just think what if you found out your man was doing this behind your back what goes around comes around

Is it wrong to flirt with a married man?

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