Is being friends before dating someone beneficial or negative?

[Ivurie_the_Sweetie]

So what you think? Share any stories to defend your argument.

[Anonymous]

relationships can work well if the people were friends first or not, but I think there is something really nice about being friends first. in the past month or so I went out with two different guys. the first one was my friend (but we aren't together now, it's a little bit gray area), and the second was with a guy I barely knew. when I was out with my friend, it was really fun. he took me to a really nice place, I dressed really nice for him, it was a lot of fun, and there was definitely that spark in the air that night, we're still close friends and I don't think we would really be good together as a couple but if we were our relationship would definitely be very special because when you are already close friends and then decide to take it to the next level you have a special bond, and when you are friends too I believe it gives your relationship a more solid foundation. when two people meet, barely know each other, and immediately start dating, it is more stressful to figure things out (at least that's what I found), because you have to start thinking pretty quickly about if you have feelings for someone who is practically a stranger whereas if you were already close friends you probably know your feelings before you even start dating. I mean, my ideal relationship is to be friends first, but I know things don't always happen that way so I am open to regular dating too, it's just more stressful/takes more thinking in the beginning. in the end, no matter how you started out, you will end up lasting if you are right for each other.

[quela0]

Doesn't make difference. I've been in relationships with people who I barely knew before we started dating and people who were practically my best friends... They all have their trials, but that's because of the people, not because of how well you knew them beforehand.

I will say this, however: the guy who I was really close with beforehand lasted about two months, but I've been dating the guy who I'd known for two weeks since June

[Vasillilaw]

Being friends with someone first lets you get to know that person better, but if things don't work out you may ruin the friendship when you break-up. ): On the other hand dating someone immediately doesn't run any risk of losing a friend and it's exciting to learn new things about them, but letting them get too close too fast when you barely know them isn't a good thing eiither. ): There are positives and negatives to both ideas.

[Anonymous]

A very good female friend of mine has chased me for months. We began to date for a number of months, and just became "official" a month ago, I have honestly never liked a woman so much, what we HAD was perfect. We talked about our feelings as we transitioned from friends to partners and there was always communication.

Out of the blue she suddenly became very distant and ignored me for around 5 days. Finally, after not turning up when we agreed to talk on a number of occasions we spoke she said that something has changed, its happened too quick, she's freaked out and doesn't know what she wants and that we should be friends because she doesn't know if she is ready.

I don't understand what's happened, we never fought or argued just one day she stood me up for a dinner date. She says she wants to be friends and that I was perfect to her and she had never been so happy. I'm not sure that we can ever be friends again, and that hurts the most. There is no animosity between us, I'm just unsure of what has happened, if she genuinely wants to just be my friend or she's just letting me off lightly or even if I could ever be her friend again because I believe I really do love this girl.

As I say I'm not sure if things will work out one way or another.

[bioweapon154]

I prefer staying away from friends in general and the feeling is mostly mutual. Doing stuff like that with friends always ends up coming back to haunt you later. When you are broken up you have the unpleasant realization that your nothing to them any more and that they intend to make you feel like crap about it or tease you because of it and because you were friends before, you have now ruined both a relationship and a friendship. Plus as a bonus, I don't really have to remain friends with them after the fact if I never really knew them before hand.

[Ivurie_the_Sweetie]

I think you have a point. My ex, which was my first && only boyfriend so far, was my friend @ first but once we had a rship, things eventually went sour. I felt like he didn't know how to be a boyfriend to me, so he kept treating me basically as a friend or an associate, as well as some other things he did wrong, so now I don't wanna be friends with him but he wants us to stay friends. I guess maybe I'll try dating someone that's not a friend next time around, I hear its better to not date friends.

[primitive]

absolutely VERY beneficial... I was bffs with my boyfriend for 1 year before we started dating... we lasted for 5 and half years :)

despite breaking up[due to dating too young from ages 15 till 21] we lasted beause we knew each other VERY well.

[deerayy019]

i think being friends is beneficial because usually the most successful relationships develop out of friendships because you two share previous experiences and it's obvious that if you're friends you get along very well. but you should always proceed with caution, because that makes it much harder for both of you if the relationship doesn't work out.

[destroyer]

I think it's much harder to develop a friendship into dating than starting dating from the get go

[Jager66]

i don't think there is a general rule to this, it will vary a great deal from person to person.

[gp8887]

Probably not good because you might lose a friend since love is complicated and sometimes most of the time doesn't last

[TheDukeOfPrunes]

Negative, might as well commit instead of dancing around like confused crabs.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you'll know what sets that person off... Great way to know what not to do, while also knowing what that person enjoys

[ADVISER-MAN]

No and yes.

[Anonymous]

Positive

[Anonymous]

Beneficial.