Is it OK for my boyfriend to give his number to random girls?

Question

I've been with him for 9 months. He told me he wanted us to be serious.

Throughout the relationship I noticed he's been liking girls photos and commenting on them. So when I started doing it too he got upset at me...I told him I caught him doing it a lot and he did stop after a while.

However a few months later, I have noticed he talks to A LOT of girls who I never even have heard about. He is very protective of me, so when he asked me who are all the guys I talked to, I refused to tell him until he told me everyone he talks to. He has a lot of girls on his phone. Then he started going though my phone constantly asking who I talked to and not to text anybody. One day I decided to check his phone, and he said "I love you" to another girl, and was flirting with a girl he told me he doesn't like. After that, I saw his inbox that he sent a message to his friend from out of town asking if there are any girls they could chill with while he was visiting.

I almost left him... He cried for two weeks promising to never hide anything from me and do nothing like that ever again... and keeping our phones private.

So I have him another chance (about 2 months ago)

However, I noticed that he gives out his phone number to a lot of girls. For example, one girls posted on facebook that she got a new phone, and EXACTLY a minute later, he responded with his number. I have no idea who she is but he only has 1 mutual friend with her.

Is my boyfriend up to something...? Should I be worried?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Player. and a wimp honestly. If he was a real player he'd have enough girls to know better than to spend 2 weeks crying over one of them, even if that one happened to be his so called girlfriend. That's a little pathetic.

If it were the first time or two I'd give him a warning, but in this case, he has a full blown track record. When you tolerate that kind of behavior, it'll only reinforce it. Right now, you look weak.

The way to get back in control of the situation is to refuse him power over the situation. Unless you think he's worth it to play warden, monitor his phone, spy on his email, and bribe his friends to see if he's hitting on anyone, then it's time to take the situation away from him. Ask for an open relationship. Propose it very sweetly, logically, and no matter what you do, don't get emotional. Arrange it like a business deal. Argue that while you don't want to hurt his feelings, because you do think he's a very nice person, and like being with him, you don't like being tied down. When he starts to cry again, say that you still want him in your life, but you just want to expand a little bit too. Say the last thing you want to do is hurt him, so give him the choice of an open relationship, just friends, or offer him some no contact time if he feels like he wants time to heal before you be just friends again. Guys hateee when you pull the just friends card...or the one where you say "you're more like a brother to me".

Don't be the girl who's mad because he's not focused just on you, though you have a right to be, because that won't work. The only thing that will work is your indifference. If you can slowly convince him that the real trouble isn't really that he's not honest or faithful and you're jealous, but that the real problem is that you've been slowly becoming less attracted to him (for a long time and many unrelated reasons). Crocodile tears don't work on that. He will realize that looking weak is not attractive, nor will it guilt you into a relationship you don't want. He'll focus all his attention on winning you back and trying to impress you. At that point, you may have found a new hot boyfriend who's even more exciting and treats you better :D Good luck and sorry he's a jerk :P

Nilka · Accepted Answer

YES you should worry and YES he is upto something... Leave that guy even tho its hard buh trust me he is not worth it. he is not showing you any respect not for you or your relashionship. And I'm sorry to say buh if you have on facebook in a rel. with his name then you are looking like a fool and I'm saying it because if I would to go on his facebook or wateva and see what he is upto with other girls and see he is in a rel. I would think that staright away. You need to keep your dicnity and if he was serious with you he would not need them girls and be calling them and hanging out numbers

rallz93 · Accepted Answer

I don't like him , and surely I don't like how he's treating you .

He's behaving like he's trying to replace you...or maybe he stays with you not because he loves you.

He may cry forever. It's no use. The Almost break up had no effect on him. He hasn't changed. He still wants "girls he can chill with" ...it reminds me of the cheating husband situation... He seems to regret , and you think that he'll never do it again , but you are Wrong.::"

It's your decission if you want to stand like this. You can definitely do better than him. You deserve better.

jessemohawk · Accepted Answer

No its not o.k. If you are serious about being in a mature relationship with a mature and available man then you have got to:

1. Dump the loser

2. Stop the game playing, "he did...", " " I did", stuff

3. That's what dating is for to see if they are worthy to be in a relationship and possibly marriage.

Imagine wasting your time on a low down cheater, two years, three years even six months is too much. Not too mention diseases...

Daily meditation for today: R.E.S.P.E.C.T. by Aretha Franklin

Good Luck

HonestAbe · Accepted Answer

Give him the boot. He's willing to stop when the heat is on him, but he goes back to his ridiculous, child ways after things have had time to settle down and smooth over. You're gonna be caught in this circle of absurdity forever. Cut your losses before you get in any deeper than you already are. Find someone worth your time.

SuperCurious · Answer

The fact that he is so protective and pairanoid about you makes me say yes. Break up with him, when your in a relationship you don't say I love you to anyone but family and your girl, plus getting numbers from girls? I would say there is more going on

grosa94 · Answer

it is not a gurantee that he is, but its a possibility.  Maybe try to start detatching yourself emotionally before you snoop... and don't snoop too much.  but find out what's going on, just ask him.  and if he's doing it again, you really should leave because he can't hurt you like that

morngunt · Answer

You need to leave him fast. I think he is cheating because most guys who cheat start questioning you like who were you with last night and so on...I dated a guy for 5 years who was like this and if you take him back and tell him it's OK then he's going to do it again.

2tonebeast16 · Answer

yes he sounds like he's keeping his options open for something better..he may say he wants a serious relationship, but only to make sure you don't mess with n.e guys..sounds like you need to give him a good long face-to-face chat..and if he rebels then drop him..sounds like a player to me..

webboy · Answer

he is a scum bag and he is cheating on you, if he is not cheating on you it is only because he has not found a chick to cheat with, hope you have kicked him to the curb

Marshall33 · Answer

He wants to be a player and is NOT serious about you. get out as soona s posible from that dynamic and pick yourself a guy with some credibility. He possesses none !

Mcash83 · Answer

unless your boyfriend is an investment banker and he's handing out business cards at a company party then NO.

Laurie182 · Answer

He diefintanlt sounds like a player beleave me girl he's not even worth it don't waste your time on him and find someone better

BJJFIGHTER · Answer

50/50. he can you, you can do. that's how it works...if he can give numbers to girls, you can give your number to guys.. that's it!

krazEkid · Answer

it is not OK to hand your number out when in a relationship, unless its for work purposes!

Jonny_ · Answer

Ditch him, I'd have cheated and made a fake profile to catch him with full proof.

darkknight1x · Answer

Dump him he's a player. A man that loves you would have respected what you said in the first place.

johndavis · Answer

It's nice from you that you gave him another chance, but know I think it is time for you to dump him.

unsungzero · Answer

yes he's a cheat or wants to cheat or wants to be a player. if he really loved you or cared about you he wouldn't be doing that crap. dump his ass.

hey420 · Answer

If he gave his number to another girl that's not a good friend and you don't know her,then he's being a player,if he talks to girls it don't matter as long as he's not flirting  because your not gonna want him to control him

ilovemydaughter · Answer

hunny dump his ass... he's cheating... I'm on the verge leaveing my boyfriend cuzz he won't help with our daughter while @ cosmotolgy school... I plan on giving him 30 days on that though..

emilyzenella · Answer

what a douche dump his guts

shay135 · Answer

hes a hypocrite. and a cheat. leave him.

diamond3 · Answer

not ok... don't accept that

irykiryk · Answer

Yeah, quit the idiot.

Is it OK for my boyfriend to give his number to random girls?

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Is it OK for my boyfriend to give his number to random girls?

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